Have you even had a bad odor in your kitchen and you cannot find the source? You clean and still cannot eliminate it. The cleansers you used cover the odor, for awhile. Air fresheners do the same, for awhile. But, eventually that nagging odor is back. It will never go away until you find the source and remove it.
When I began my Manifesting Mount Dora project, I had no clue how my new home and life in Mount Dora could come to pass, so I was truly leaving it up to the Universe. But, I felt so strongly that I belonged there, I believed it was inevitable that my life there would manifest. I used the Law of Attraction to help it come about. After 15 months, I am not one iota closer to my dream.
I started every morning with hopeful expectations and every night ended with sad disappointment. I told myself not to be disappointed because negativity only attracts negative outcomes. I covered up my sad disappointment with visualizations, affirmations, more photos on my vision board, meditations, happy thoughts and smiles. I believed that a door would open, an idea would appear, the right person would show up, SOMETHING would happen to draw me closer to manifesting Mount Dora. But, each day passed and nothing happened. Most nights I covered up the sad disappointment, but sometimes, like that stinky kitchen smell, I could not mask it and the sad disappointment saturated the air around me and I felt like a failure, a fraud. A few times the stench of sad disappointment lasted for days or even weeks, but, eventually I tried something new and covered it up again. I kept telling myself I was not sad, I was not disappointed, I was not discouraged. But, the truth is, I WAS sad, I WAS disappointed, I WAS discouraged and all I did was bury those feelings.
The last 15 months have been so difficult - emotionally and physically. Illness and pain have plagued me and I cannot help but wonder if that rotten, sad disappointment is the root cause of my maladies. Perhaps, I am poisoning myself. Maybe not. I don't know. Just like I don't know how to manifest Mount Dora, I don't know how to get well, how to feel better.
This is what I do know. I would rather feel nothing every night than feel sad disappointment.
I appreciate each of you who have been following my blog. Your comments and encouragements have helped me to keep trying. The number of people who read my posts shocked and pleased me. I don't want to discourage any of you from your own manifestations. I still think the Law of Attraction can work, but, obviously, I either don't know how to make it work or I am giving up too soon or, maybe, I don't belong in Mount Dora despite my strong feelings otherwise. This was an experiment and as any researcher will tell you, not every experiment yields the results you desire.
I need to go through my day expecting what can realistically happen within the confines of my daily activities. I need to end my day without sad disappointment. I need to feel better. That's it. I found the source of the odor and I am removing it.
When I began my Manifesting Mount Dora project, I had no clue how my new home and life in Mount Dora could come to pass, so I was truly leaving it up to the Universe. But, I felt so strongly that I belonged there, I believed it was inevitable that my life there would manifest. I used the Law of Attraction to help it come about. After 15 months, I am not one iota closer to my dream.
I started every morning with hopeful expectations and every night ended with sad disappointment. I told myself not to be disappointed because negativity only attracts negative outcomes. I covered up my sad disappointment with visualizations, affirmations, more photos on my vision board, meditations, happy thoughts and smiles. I believed that a door would open, an idea would appear, the right person would show up, SOMETHING would happen to draw me closer to manifesting Mount Dora. But, each day passed and nothing happened. Most nights I covered up the sad disappointment, but sometimes, like that stinky kitchen smell, I could not mask it and the sad disappointment saturated the air around me and I felt like a failure, a fraud. A few times the stench of sad disappointment lasted for days or even weeks, but, eventually I tried something new and covered it up again. I kept telling myself I was not sad, I was not disappointed, I was not discouraged. But, the truth is, I WAS sad, I WAS disappointed, I WAS discouraged and all I did was bury those feelings.
The last 15 months have been so difficult - emotionally and physically. Illness and pain have plagued me and I cannot help but wonder if that rotten, sad disappointment is the root cause of my maladies. Perhaps, I am poisoning myself. Maybe not. I don't know. Just like I don't know how to manifest Mount Dora, I don't know how to get well, how to feel better.
This is what I do know. I would rather feel nothing every night than feel sad disappointment.
I appreciate each of you who have been following my blog. Your comments and encouragements have helped me to keep trying. The number of people who read my posts shocked and pleased me. I don't want to discourage any of you from your own manifestations. I still think the Law of Attraction can work, but, obviously, I either don't know how to make it work or I am giving up too soon or, maybe, I don't belong in Mount Dora despite my strong feelings otherwise. This was an experiment and as any researcher will tell you, not every experiment yields the results you desire.
I need to go through my day expecting what can realistically happen within the confines of my daily activities. I need to end my day without sad disappointment. I need to feel better. That's it. I found the source of the odor and I am removing it.
Sorry Becky that you feel the need to let go of this dream...I hope you find relief and happiness in being in the "now." Regardless of the results of your "experiment," I hope you can still recognize how wise and insightful you are and how much your words inspire the rest of us. Whatever the topic of the blog, please keep writing!
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