Today I read an article in the Gainesville Sun via McClatchy Newspapers called “Polishing Your Manners Can Improve Relationships”. As the title discloses, the article is about how your life and your relationships will be more harmonious if you practice good manners with everyone. Seems like a no brainer, but bad manners are rampant and I believe that has much to do with the malaise in our society right now. While shopping or running errands, there is rarely a time that I do not hear parents swearing at or around their children, children being rude to their parents and any other adults in their vicinity, spouses fighting loudly and openly in public, friends treating each other with disdain or sometimes outright cruelty, strangers being discourteous, rude and obnoxious to one another.
My great-aunt Helen, who lived to be 104, often said, “Most, if not all, of the world’s problems can be solved with good manners..” At first, I thought her statement was unrealistically simplistic, but with more consideration I realized her words were actually very wise. How could we have wars or crimes if we are acting politely and with respect for one another? Most societal problems and personal misunderstandings start with poor behavior and isn’t poor behavior the same as bad manners? Good manners mean we are being thoughtful and respectful of another’s feelings. If we treat one another with conscious consideration, how could we commit crimes against each other, how could we start and fight wars?
So what does any of this have to do with manifesting? The Law of Attraction says like attracts like. If we are displaying negative, bad behavior and exhibiting poor manners, how can we attract anything positive? If we are being rude, how will we attract the people who can help make our intentions a reality?
Successful manifestation requires synchronicity - the almost magical coming together of people and events at exactly the right time to help us create our new reality. If we repel people, and this includes strangers, with our lack of manners and if we conduct ourselves in unfriendly, unhelpful and disapproving ways, how can we possibly attract the necessary people we need at the right moment? Not only will we fail to attract that which we desire, but we will draw unto us the same negativity that we are displaying. Our behavior will result in the opposite of what we are intending.
Being mannerly does not mean becoming a doormat. You can stand up for yourself and you can set boundaries without being mean or rude. People often laugh at Miss Manners and Dear Abby articles that praise mannerly behavior, but there is good advice in those letters and commentaries. We can convey our feelings and concerns, even when expressing displeasure, disappointment, annoyance or anger, without using foul language, derogatory names, shrill voices, rude hand or finger signals, or any of the other poor replacements for thoughtful language. Has our education system failed us so completely that we can only express ourselves in words of four letters or less?
Today I was driving my car into a convenience store parking lot when a very large SUV coming from a different direction swerved in front of me and pulled into the parking area, straddling the only two parking spaces left. There was not enough room for me to park on either side of the hulking vehicle. I found a non-parking area that had enough maneuvering room for me to stay there while my man ran into the store. To my amazement the woman in the SUV never left her vehicle. She took up two parking spaces and just sat there for about five minutes and then abruptly backed up and left. I could see her face clearly when she drove past me and she looked furious. I can’t imagine what problem would contort her face with such anger. I could have screamed at her. I could have thrown her the finger. Honestly, that was my first thought. How dare she? Who does she think she is? Etc, etc. We’ve all experienced something similar and we’ve given into the urge to display our anger with rude, unmannerly words or gestures. But, I am trying to Manifest Mount Dora and am very conscious of my thoughts, feelings and actions. I only want to radiate positivity, so I avoid, as often as I can, sharp remarks, thoughtless comments, blatant displays of anger, and fits of displeasure. I chose not to react with bad manners. I chose to consider this woman a fellow human being with problems of which I have no knowledge. Perhaps that’s not the case. Perhaps she is willfully self-centered, obnoxious, rude and a bad driver all the time. Maybe her in-your-face and ineffective display of anger through her parking is a common occurrence in her life. But, that does not really matter - who she is and how she acts should not be the trigger for bad behavior from me. In another situation, under different circumstances, I may have been able to be a positive influence on her, but today I was only able to not allow her to be a negative influence on me. I chose not to give my power to her. I chose to use my power to sit calmly in my car and send out wishes that whatever terrible thing she was experiencing would be resolved, allowing her to see past the anger that was blinding her today. I am not patting myself on the back. Truthfully, I was known as an aggressive, angry driver for several years of my life. Back then my reaction would have been completely different than how I responded today. But, now I know that when I act rudely or show bad manners or display boundless anger (that probably has nothing to do with the situation at hand), I am just attracting more negativity to me - more rude people, more parking space hogs, more impoliteness, more obnoxiousness. I don’t want those negatives in my life, so I choose to bring a bit of peace into my little corner of the world. I choose to believe that “Most, if not all, of the world’s problems can be solved with good manners.”
My great-aunt Helen, who lived to be 104, often said, “Most, if not all, of the world’s problems can be solved with good manners..” At first, I thought her statement was unrealistically simplistic, but with more consideration I realized her words were actually very wise. How could we have wars or crimes if we are acting politely and with respect for one another? Most societal problems and personal misunderstandings start with poor behavior and isn’t poor behavior the same as bad manners? Good manners mean we are being thoughtful and respectful of another’s feelings. If we treat one another with conscious consideration, how could we commit crimes against each other, how could we start and fight wars?
So what does any of this have to do with manifesting? The Law of Attraction says like attracts like. If we are displaying negative, bad behavior and exhibiting poor manners, how can we attract anything positive? If we are being rude, how will we attract the people who can help make our intentions a reality?
Successful manifestation requires synchronicity - the almost magical coming together of people and events at exactly the right time to help us create our new reality. If we repel people, and this includes strangers, with our lack of manners and if we conduct ourselves in unfriendly, unhelpful and disapproving ways, how can we possibly attract the necessary people we need at the right moment? Not only will we fail to attract that which we desire, but we will draw unto us the same negativity that we are displaying. Our behavior will result in the opposite of what we are intending.
Being mannerly does not mean becoming a doormat. You can stand up for yourself and you can set boundaries without being mean or rude. People often laugh at Miss Manners and Dear Abby articles that praise mannerly behavior, but there is good advice in those letters and commentaries. We can convey our feelings and concerns, even when expressing displeasure, disappointment, annoyance or anger, without using foul language, derogatory names, shrill voices, rude hand or finger signals, or any of the other poor replacements for thoughtful language. Has our education system failed us so completely that we can only express ourselves in words of four letters or less?
Today I was driving my car into a convenience store parking lot when a very large SUV coming from a different direction swerved in front of me and pulled into the parking area, straddling the only two parking spaces left. There was not enough room for me to park on either side of the hulking vehicle. I found a non-parking area that had enough maneuvering room for me to stay there while my man ran into the store. To my amazement the woman in the SUV never left her vehicle. She took up two parking spaces and just sat there for about five minutes and then abruptly backed up and left. I could see her face clearly when she drove past me and she looked furious. I can’t imagine what problem would contort her face with such anger. I could have screamed at her. I could have thrown her the finger. Honestly, that was my first thought. How dare she? Who does she think she is? Etc, etc. We’ve all experienced something similar and we’ve given into the urge to display our anger with rude, unmannerly words or gestures. But, I am trying to Manifest Mount Dora and am very conscious of my thoughts, feelings and actions. I only want to radiate positivity, so I avoid, as often as I can, sharp remarks, thoughtless comments, blatant displays of anger, and fits of displeasure. I chose not to react with bad manners. I chose to consider this woman a fellow human being with problems of which I have no knowledge. Perhaps that’s not the case. Perhaps she is willfully self-centered, obnoxious, rude and a bad driver all the time. Maybe her in-your-face and ineffective display of anger through her parking is a common occurrence in her life. But, that does not really matter - who she is and how she acts should not be the trigger for bad behavior from me. In another situation, under different circumstances, I may have been able to be a positive influence on her, but today I was only able to not allow her to be a negative influence on me. I chose not to give my power to her. I chose to use my power to sit calmly in my car and send out wishes that whatever terrible thing she was experiencing would be resolved, allowing her to see past the anger that was blinding her today. I am not patting myself on the back. Truthfully, I was known as an aggressive, angry driver for several years of my life. Back then my reaction would have been completely different than how I responded today. But, now I know that when I act rudely or show bad manners or display boundless anger (that probably has nothing to do with the situation at hand), I am just attracting more negativity to me - more rude people, more parking space hogs, more impoliteness, more obnoxiousness. I don’t want those negatives in my life, so I choose to bring a bit of peace into my little corner of the world. I choose to believe that “Most, if not all, of the world’s problems can be solved with good manners.”
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