Mark Twain is attributed with this famous saying: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”
Basically, if you want your life to change, if you want something different or something more than you have, you need to change what you do. Easier said than done. We are creatures of habit and products of our environment. We tend to follow in the foot steps of those who preceded us - usually, our parents. My father possessed an explosive temper and in my late teens, my nickname was “Time Bomb”. Let me get angry and someone could say “tick, tick, tick” and I would explode right on time. My supervisor at my job when I was 19 was lobbying for me to be promoted, but he warned me that my temper was well-known and could sabotage my chances. I considered my temper and its origins and realized I was becoming my father, at least in that aspect. I made a conscious decision that day to hold my temper in check. Now, anyone who knows me cannot imagine that I once displayed a nearly out-of-control temper. Did I get the promotion? No, but that was due to an economic decline that led to the elimination of the job. I missed the promotion, but changed my personality.
Sometimes we can make conscious decisions to change and we follow through successfully, sometimes we try and try and still do not succeed, sometimes we don’t even know how to initiate a change and sometimes we don’t even realize we need to change.
First, each of us needs to be aware of who we are and how we appear to others. We need to take inventory of our problems and decide if those issues can be corrected by changing what we do and how we behave. If you lack friends or long-term friendships, maybe your behavior turns off people, perhaps you come across as cold and unfriendly or maybe you have a reputation for being unreliable or a gossip. If you always struggle financially, perhaps your spending habits need to be fine-tuned or you may have a mentality of lack, always thinking of what you don’t have or what you think you can’t have. If we are honest with ourselves, each of us can find some area of our lives that can stand improvement.
Second, once you identify an aspect of your behavior or an area of your life that needs improvement, determine if you know how to make constructed changes that will move you in a new and better direction. Do you already possess the knowledge and the skills to curb your temper, increase your reliability, stop a bad habit like gossiping, learn to be a better listener, handle your finances with care or change your outlook? Whatever your identified issue or issues, figure out if you can create a plan for improvement and put it in motion to make the changes you desire. If you can, great, get started! If you can’t, start searching for the information and help you need.
There are scores of life coaches, therapists, books, DVD’s, CD’s, audio downloads and websites that can educate you on how to make positive changes in your life. There are hundreds of different lessons and practices you can try - affirmations, visualizations, journaling, EFT, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, meditation, life coaching, support groups, yoga, etc. Each modality, each approach has something to offer and some work better for some people than for others. Try them out. Find one or two or three that work well with your mind set, your personality and your lifestyle. Whatever you choose must become part of your life, a regular practice. If you try one approach and see only minor or no results, try another. Just as all medicines do not work well for all people, neither do these types of “therapies”. Keep looking until you find one or more that gives you the results you want, but be sure you allow enough time to evaluate a new practice. Give it a chance to work for you before you give up on it and try something new. In our lightening fast world, we want instant gratification and results, but changing how we think or behave is not always a fast or easy process. Even if you are only noticing small improvements, they can mount up to a life-changing shift.
About six years ago, I attended my first chord cutting ceremony - a practice based on Native American and Eastern ceremonies to facilitate the breaking of our ties with unhealthy, unneeded or limiting parts of our lives and relationships - present or past. I went because a friend attended the month before and noticed immediate and profound changes in her life. After my first ceremony, I could not identify even the slightest change in my life, but I went back month after month and am still going several times a year. Slowly I noticed changes. Unlike my friend, these transformations were gradual and more subtle. But, since I did see changes no matter how small and since the ceremonies usually left me with a feeling of peace that last for several hours and sometimes a few days, I continued participating. Looking back, I realized that rapid changes would have been bad for me. My life had already gone through several major upheavals and although the end results were positive, I needed some downtime to assimilate what I’d already experienced. I desired more changes, but too much, too fast would have been overwhelming and counter-productive. My changes came slow and steady, just as I needed. After each ceremony, participants can discuss what they experienced and I often heard of visions, intense feelings, out-of-body type sensations, unusual sounds and the like. It was a long time before I began experiencing anything stronger than a sense of floating. But, again, I believe the sensations came to me as I was able to accept and appreciate them.
Friday night, I was at a chord cutting and had the most profound emotional experience yet. An amazing feeling of happiness and gratitude swept over me, is still hanging around and I am sure it has something to do with my Manifesting Mount Dora project. Last week, my man and I were in Mount Dora during a weather pattern of gusty winds - some 30 to 40 miles per hour. We sat at the end of Grantham Point Park (also known as Lighthouse Park) watching birds soar and dip in the high winds, just enjoying their ability to ride the winds as a child would a roller coaster. During the chord cutting, with eyes closed, I felt like one of those birds - I was undulating on the winds, feeling joyful and childlike. Below me, I saw water (Lake Dora?) and thick canopies of trees. Suddenly, in mid-air, a young racoon appeared before me. He was identical to the young racoon we’d come across last week on the shores of Mount Dora. He just floated before my face, looking impish and gleeful. Wherever I flew, he stayed bobbing in front of me, sometimes chattering and always consumed with childlike happiness. Those at the ceremony said I was swaying and smiling as they’d never seen me before. Later, during our final mediation when I was reclining on my back on the floor, the racoon appeared again; this time sitting on my chest with his smiling face just above mine. I left the ceremony feeling airy, hopeful, and intensely happy. All weekend, even during some stressful or annoying moments, I was able to access that same feeling of joy.
Had I immediately given up after my first chord cutting with its less than notable results, I would never have had the experiences and sensations that have gradually come to me. I am so grateful for my introduction to chord cutting ceremonies and I unerringly know that I am a better and a freer person for all the ceremonies I’ve attended. I made a choice to do something different so I would get something different than I’d always got, to paraphrase Mr. Twain.
Color outside the lines - step beyond the boundaries, real or imagined, that fence in your life - fly a little - run instead of walk - skip when no one is looking and then when everyone is looking - swirl the water around you and disperse the stagnation - feel the breeze on your face - just do something different and see what becomes of it. You may be surprised.
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