Last night, I had a revelation at the Creating Money-Attracting Abundance class that I am attending. I listened to other class members talking about their blocks and issues, particularly ones about not feeling good enough for a better job, more money, a happy relationship, good health or whatever is better than what they have now. For the first time, I realized that I have progressed past that particular block. I no longer have issues with feeling as if I am not deserving of something better. I once did - probably did for most of my life - but that issue has ceased to exist for me and I did not even realize it. Actually, I believe it was the not realizing I had left unworthiness behind that was the true revelation. Somewhere along my path I made this major leap forward and was not even aware of it. Truthfully, it probably was not a single leap and certainly not a single big leap - it was micro steps; slow, steady, almost imperceptible baby steps. And, I think that is good - well, its good for me.
I am sure there are people who have mind-blowing, breath-taking aha moments when clarity is instantaneous, wisdom is immediate and life is changed forever. I am not one of those people. Little bit by little bit the darkness clears as though a small candle were lit, then after awhile another and then after some more time another, until something moves in the now all-encompassing light and I realize I can see it unhindered; in fact, I can see everything clearly because the darkness no longer exists. Sort of sneaks up on me when I'm not looking and, like last night, I think, "Wow! When did that happen?"
Major aha moments that seem to blow off the top of your head are thrilling, magical and very Hollywood, but I believe slow, steady change is easier to accept and assimilate. Makes me think of rain. Thunderstorms are exciting with their electricity, earth-shaking sounds and momentous rains. But, the parched, hard-packed earth quickly becomes overwhelmed with the onslaught of water and just cannot absorb more than a little of the precious moisture it so desperately needs. The rain cascades off the earth and into ditches, drains and bodies of water - much of it puddling unused on concrete and asphalt until it evaporates in the harsh sun. But, if the rain comes gently, slowly, steadily, each drop softens the ground a little more so the earth can open, little bit by little bit like a heart that is blossoming or a soul that is being enlightened, and welcome the life-saving water. The rain stays where it is needed, nourishing the soil so that a long-buried seed can germinate and grow. Beneath the ground, unseen and unknown, the new seedling slowly, steadily pushes its way up and out until one day a speck appears above the earth. That speck gradually grows taller until on another day the gardener is surprised to see a fully grown plant where once there was only sun-baked, hardened dirt. That describes how personal and spiritual change happens for me. I appreciate the opportunity to slowly absorb the wisdom and advice that rains down upon me, allowing me the time to grow and adjust until one day I am amazed when I realize I have pushed past that hard-baked problem that kept me buried for years and I am now basking in the sunlight.
We live in an impatient world and we want change to happen NOW. But, are we ready for all that change right now? Can we handle it now? Or will it be wasted on us because we were too closed to accept it, too hard to assimilate it? Had I experienced a major, eye-popping revelation about my worthiness, I may have been amazed and dazzled for awhile. I may have felt great and powerful and invincible for awhile. But, eventually I'd feel overwhelmed, confused and maybe even scared. Too much, too fast. And, I'd close up like the rain-starved earth that just cannot absorb the flooding rain.
Another revelation that came to me a few months ago is that I am not as impatient as I once was and, thankfully, that allows me to welcome change little bit by little bit. Rather than having in-your-face aha moments when I suddenly understand something, when I suddenly GET IT, I have slow sunrise-type aha moments when I realize I understand it, I got it, but I just don't know exactly when that happened or maybe even how that happened. Just like watching the sunrise. Its dark, then there's a tiny sliver of almost-unseen light, then a little more and a little more until the full face of the sun catches you unawares and you wonder, "When did that happen?"
I am sure there are people who have mind-blowing, breath-taking aha moments when clarity is instantaneous, wisdom is immediate and life is changed forever. I am not one of those people. Little bit by little bit the darkness clears as though a small candle were lit, then after awhile another and then after some more time another, until something moves in the now all-encompassing light and I realize I can see it unhindered; in fact, I can see everything clearly because the darkness no longer exists. Sort of sneaks up on me when I'm not looking and, like last night, I think, "Wow! When did that happen?"
Major aha moments that seem to blow off the top of your head are thrilling, magical and very Hollywood, but I believe slow, steady change is easier to accept and assimilate. Makes me think of rain. Thunderstorms are exciting with their electricity, earth-shaking sounds and momentous rains. But, the parched, hard-packed earth quickly becomes overwhelmed with the onslaught of water and just cannot absorb more than a little of the precious moisture it so desperately needs. The rain cascades off the earth and into ditches, drains and bodies of water - much of it puddling unused on concrete and asphalt until it evaporates in the harsh sun. But, if the rain comes gently, slowly, steadily, each drop softens the ground a little more so the earth can open, little bit by little bit like a heart that is blossoming or a soul that is being enlightened, and welcome the life-saving water. The rain stays where it is needed, nourishing the soil so that a long-buried seed can germinate and grow. Beneath the ground, unseen and unknown, the new seedling slowly, steadily pushes its way up and out until one day a speck appears above the earth. That speck gradually grows taller until on another day the gardener is surprised to see a fully grown plant where once there was only sun-baked, hardened dirt. That describes how personal and spiritual change happens for me. I appreciate the opportunity to slowly absorb the wisdom and advice that rains down upon me, allowing me the time to grow and adjust until one day I am amazed when I realize I have pushed past that hard-baked problem that kept me buried for years and I am now basking in the sunlight.
We live in an impatient world and we want change to happen NOW. But, are we ready for all that change right now? Can we handle it now? Or will it be wasted on us because we were too closed to accept it, too hard to assimilate it? Had I experienced a major, eye-popping revelation about my worthiness, I may have been amazed and dazzled for awhile. I may have felt great and powerful and invincible for awhile. But, eventually I'd feel overwhelmed, confused and maybe even scared. Too much, too fast. And, I'd close up like the rain-starved earth that just cannot absorb the flooding rain.
Another revelation that came to me a few months ago is that I am not as impatient as I once was and, thankfully, that allows me to welcome change little bit by little bit. Rather than having in-your-face aha moments when I suddenly understand something, when I suddenly GET IT, I have slow sunrise-type aha moments when I realize I understand it, I got it, but I just don't know exactly when that happened or maybe even how that happened. Just like watching the sunrise. Its dark, then there's a tiny sliver of almost-unseen light, then a little more and a little more until the full face of the sun catches you unawares and you wonder, "When did that happen?"
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