3/31/12 We Hear The Call

Tonight I added to my Mount Dora Vision Board Closet Door.  On our last visit there in February, I picked up a local business advertisement booklet, which promptly was misplaced when I unpacked my suitcase.  After coming across it this weekend, I cut out the ads for our some of our favorite places and taped them to my closet door.  My closet door vision board is a work in progress!! 

We are going to Mount Dora this week - arriving on Thursday and leaving on Sunday - and I want to take very specific photos of shops and places we love that are not yet represented on our closet.  Places like Emz on Fifth, my favorite ladies’ boutique; Cody’s on 4th, a relatively new restaurant that we discovered in February; Pizza Amore, the first place we ate in Mount Dora when we arrived on a rainy afternoon in 2009; the Bowersock Art Gallery; and some of the historic homes and buildings. 

One of the reasons for our trip is to see the play, The Marvelous Wonderettes, at the Sonnentag Theatre at the Ice House.  Tickets for the Thursday night show are waiting for us at the box office.  We are so looking forward to our first visit at the theatre and seeing the play.

My taste buds awaken when I think of eating at some of our favorite places in Mount Dora:  Copacabana Cuban Restaurant, Pisces Rising (drinks at the tiki bar looking out on Lake Dora), Cody’s on 4th, Pizza Amore - so many choices!!  I will browse in Emz at Fifth, chat with Clare and surely find some unique piece of clothing to purchase, as I always do.  We will walk to Gilbert Park and all around the city streets, stopping at our favorite places and strolling through the residential neighborhoods.  I will curl up in one of the overstuffed chairs at One Flight Up and write in my journal while sipping on a frozen lemonade or a warm chai latte.   We will take our rest at Tremain Street Cottages, our home away from home.  Yes, Mount Dora is calling us again. 

3/30/12 Daring To Dream

“Daring to dream what is deepest in our collective longings is what makes us most human and fully alive.”   Wendy Wright, The Vigil


My Manifesting Mount Dora Project, during its slightly more than one week of existence, has been a challenge, has spawned creativity and fun, and has made me feel more alive than I’ve felt in a long while.  And, as is the case with many new passions, I have been left exhausted at times, but the good kind of tired, when you feel spent and rest is a reward for your efforts.

The challenges continue and sometimes seem to be racing toward me like Seabiscuit to the finish line.  Again, I feel like I am under attack and sometimes from the very ones that I would expect to shield, comfort and inspire me.  Is my new found passion making others uncomfortable?  Or, are my actions exposing something uncomfortable within themselves?  Am I changing in ways that others don’t appreciate? I don’t know, may never know.  I just keep moving forward.  I look for anything and everything that shines with positivity.  I smile when I feel like shouting or crying or sighing or running far, far away.  And, believe me, that has happened more than a few times this week. 

I had a conversation with a friend the other day who is facing a great change in his life and, although he is an advocate of change and has recreated himself many times, this change  has been forced upon him at a time that feels inconvenient and frightening.  He did not initiate the change and is reluctant to face upheaval at this time in his life.  Oddly, he admits that the very change that is occurring was something he started to initiate, something he wanted, twice during the last decade, but put off because he was feeling so comfortable where he was and with what he had.  The change was, at one time, what he wanted, but he did not follow the calling.  A few years ago, the change he faces now was knocking on his door as opportunity, but he turned it away and now the change has knocked down his door and rattled his windows.  He started the game and became too comfortable, too complacent and decided to sit out an inning and then another and then another.  Now he is being called in to play and he may go out to the field reluctantly or with vigor.  He will choose vigor.  I know him.  For a few days or a couple of weeks he will mourn what he is losing and, in the process, shake off the cobwebs that have gathered.  He knows the game well, he knows he must play creatively with confidence and determination.  He will play and he will win. 

Complacency is merely being comfortable for too long.  We all need a rest.  Sitting on the front porch admiring the fruits of our labors and watching the world parade by is okay - for awhile.  My paternal grandfather, who passed before I was born, worked six days a week, ten or more hours a day from the age of 14 until his retirement at 68 years of age.  He deserved to rest.  He and my grandmother moved to a cabin on a lake and he sat on the porch and did nothing until he died a few years later of what was then called hardening of the arteries.  Maybe his arteries hardened due to a high fat diet or maybe because he stopped moving - not just moving forward, but moving at all.  Not just physical movement, but mental, spiritual and emotional movement, too.  He just stopped.  

Life has stages.  We rush to the next stage or we enter it unwillingly or even unknowingly.  We may try to hold it at bay, but it will come.  We can welcome it, dread it or even deny it, but it will come.  When you enter the next phase of your life, you are swept up in changes - a new school, a new love, a new job, a new home, the birth of a child, the end of a relationship, the loss of financial security, the death of a loved one - they all require attention, energy and focus.  There may be turmoil or excitement or grieving or joy.  Life is electric.  Time passes with unforgiving swiftness.  And then the climate calms.  A pattern develops and we slow dance through our days.  Life is like the soft underbelly of a kitten.  Even the annoyances and aggravations are easily swept away and forgotten.  We get comfortable.  Then, it starts.  The little waves of electricity return, perhaps as problems or maybe as desires.  We feel unsettled, sleep does not come easily.  The kitten awakes and scratches the hand on his soft fur.  We cry, we bleed, we long, we fight, we dream.  But, we want to be comfortable.  We miss the routine, the knowing of life.  So, we look for switches to shut off the electricity.  We’d rather be in the dark like in a mother’s womb.  We push away the dreams and sleep heavily and deeply.  We hold tight and develop a fear of the unknown.  But, the unknown knows us and its coming again.  And again, and again.  Until one day, it does not just knock on the door, it blows the door in.  

For many years I was in the dark, holding tight with fear, when it was the dark that I should have feared.  I made changes that finally turned on the light and moved me in to a new phase of life.  For almost eight years I have been in a new chapter of my life.  For awhile now, I have felt the knocking on the door.  I can open it or I can nail it shut, but the nails will rust and come loose and sooner or later the door will give way.  I have chosen to open the door.  Manifesting Mount Dora is the opening of the door. 

“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid of standing still.”   Chinese Proverb

3/28/12 Let No One Steal Your Joy

Now that I have made a commitment to something positive and life-affirming, it seems that the world is against me.  That may not be true, but it sure feels that way.  Is there really more negativity and problems surrounding me or am I just hyper-sensitive to anything that is not positive in nature?  Maybe my joyful nature is rubbing people wrong and they are responding mean-spiritedly with sarcasm and anger.  Perhaps, as I strive to be happy, I am overly conscience of anything negative.  Not sure of the reason, but I know that I am sensing an increased amount of negativity and am determined to rise above the clouds and storms around me.  I am allowing people to feel what they feel, act how they want to act while I look for my center and hold on to my joy.  In fact, tonight I called a friend to tell her of a situation that slapped me in the face this evening and she shared that her household has a saying: Don’t let anyone steal your joy.  I will not steal her joy but have definitely pilfered her saying.  Although in my quest for positivity, I reworded it slightly: Allow no one to steal your joy. 

One of the inspirations for this manifestation project and my blog was the book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin.  Happiness is so ethereal, it seems unattainable.  Her book breaks down the feeling and causes of happiness in charts and lists devised from hours and hours of research.  Rather than taking the magic out of happiness for me, her didactic approach to such a lofty ideal made it more real to me, more graspable and with that I was able to think of Manifesting Mount Dora as something I can accomplish.  She also gave writing a human touch that seeded the confidence I needed to start pounding away at my keyboard in a way I have not been able to do in years.  Gretchen was already a published author when she took up the happiness cause.  In her year’s experiment to be happy, she expanded her writing to include blogging and inspired me to try the same.  I highly recommend the book to anyone, no matter how happy you may already consider yourself.  She inspires you to study your life in minute detail, identifying that which is not quite happy enough and creating ways to infuse more happiness into even the most everyday tasks. 

The Law of Attraction is all about happiness and it’s all a process.  That is important - it is a process.  It is a learning and growing experience, not just a wanting and getting experience.  It is about who I am and who I want to be, not just about who I think I can be if I obtain this or that or something else.  For you, it may not entail charts and research, but it should spur soul-searching, self-evaluation and personal growth.   

I survived this evening, smiling most of the time in spite of the rough seas around me.  I allowed no one to steal my joy and that is my goal for this experience of Manifesting Mount Dora.

(Thanks, Cheryl!)

3/25/12 Seeing is Believing

Vision Boards, or something similar, are fantastic ways to visualize your Intention.  I first learned about Vision Boards in the prosperity class taught by Rev. Pam Schauer and Rev. Theresa Wesly at the Spirit of Truth Church in Gainesville, Florida.  Pam and Theresa explained that to create a Vision Board you cut out photos, sayings, words, even articles from magazines that relate to what you wish to create.  A Vision Board can be dedicated to one topic - like the house you want to own - or it can represent several, or even all, your desires.  Your wants need not be material ones, but can also be areas of spiritual, mental and emotional growth. 

For me, a Vision Board was the hardest of assignments because I had no idea what I wanted!  Most of my life was spent pleasing others, doing what they wanted me to do, or what I thought they wanted me to do.  Even thinking about what I wanted was difficult and stressful.  When, with some embarrassment, I expressed this block to Pam and Theresa, they suggested creating an I Am Board first, allowing me the chance to figure out who I was before thinking about what I wanted. 

Creating the I Am Board was not easy for me, but I was less anxious and frightened by it than I was by the Vision Board.  I stared at the blank poster board for days before writing in very large letters at the top: I AM.  And, then I stared at those words for a few more days while spending hours flipping through magazines, cutting out photos, words and sayings that represented who I thought I was or who I wanted to become.  Once the time came to assemble all the bits and pieces beneath the words I AM on my board, everything seem to flow almost effortlessly.  One picture after another found its perfect spot on my board, almost without my help.  My final product was amazing, beautiful and inspiring.  I proudly presented it to our class.  I was the only class member who felt the need to create an I Am Board rather than a Vision Board, but I was proud of my board and new it was exactly what I needed to do.  A few months later, with my I Am Board behind me, I was able to create a Vision Board without the apprehension and fear that first consumed me at the thought of making one.  I hung my I Am and my Vision Boards in my home office where I could see them often.  

In 2008, Lacey Nagy and I created a prosperity group called Prosperous Living that met weekly for two years.  At the beginning of each of those years, we held a Vision Board class to allow our group members to create visions of their Intentions for the upcoming year.  These were always some of our most popular meetings with a dozen or more people sitting at fold-out tables, cutting up magazines, pasting items on their boards and proudly presenting them to the group.  When I created my board at our first Vision Board class, I had to decide what to do with it since I already had two boards hanging in my office.  As I considered my I Am board, I realized I no longer needed it.  That board had served its purpose and I retired it to a closet from which I sometimes pull it out to remember those days when I had to be reminded of who I was just to figure out what I wanted.  I then compared my first and second Vision Boards and was amazed at how much my desires had changed in just two years.  Several wants on my first board had materialized and others no longer interested me. My new Vision Board exhibited more desires concerning personal growth and less about things.  I was evolving.  I kept both Vision Boards on my wall for a year, just to make comparisons during the upcoming months.  From that point forward, I replaced one year’s board with the new year’s board, always looking forward to my new Intentions.

After Prosperous Living folded, my friend and yoga teacher, Shenna (Raven) Benarte, began having a New Year’s Celebration at her home each January first.  At these celebrations, a variety of people, some of them former Prosperous Living members, came together to socialize, share food, meditate and create Vision Boards and Vision Books.  With a few Vision Boards in my closet and one on my wall, I decided to change it up and create a Vision Book.  Shenna took those plain composition books with the mottled black and white covers that I remembered from grade school and covered the fronts with lovely, colorful photos from magazines and laid them out for whoever wanted one.  I chose a notebook with a picture of a rocky coastal beach.  I enjoy journaling when I take the time to write, so I planned to make the Vision Book my new journal.  I perused magazines, clipped out photos, words and sayings but really not finding enough for my new Vision Book.  I pasted what I had, partially filling pages to leave room for writing, sometimes completely filling one page while leaving the opposite page blank for journaling.  But, I filled less than a quarter of the pages.  I took my book home at the end of the day, set it aside for several months and then picked it up again.  On and off for two years, I’ve pasted in treasures that I found in magazines or printed from web pages, I copied poems and the lyrics of songs and I journaled.  Rather than a typical journal with daily, weekly or monthly entries about life’s experiences and challenges, I allow my Vision Book to inspire me.  I flip through the pages until one speaks to me.  There I land and start writing.  My writings are here and there throughout the book, blank pages still wait for a picture or my pen.   

I knew my Manifesting Mount Dora project needed a jump start from a Vision Board.  Having images of my new home town is important to the manifestation of that place in my life.  My home office is now a bedroom for someone else and the walls of my bedroom are already full.  Where could my Vision Board reside?  I chose my closet door, easily seen from any angle in the room.  I also chose not to use a board which can be heavy and difficult to hang on a hollow closet door.  Instead, I taped my photos and other items directly on the door.  I printed photos I’d taken in Mount Dora on plain paper and used those as the anchor for my Vision Closet Door.  The photos I chose were ones I particularly loved, including a favorite one of my man and me with the sun setting over Lake Dora behind us and one of my favorite bird, a blue heron, fishing along the edge of the same lake.  From several tourist booklets I cut out descriptions and artistic renderings of Mount Dora, including a list of recommendations and information for new residents.  I added some affirmations and favorite sayings and the Chinese characters for the word “energy”.   While surfing web pages about Mount Dora, I came across an historic house for sale that looked like a place where I would love to live.  I printed some photos of that house and added them to my Vision Closet Door. 

As much as I love the looks of the house that I added to my door and as much as I think I would be thrilled to have that as my home, I am not wedded to the idea of living in that particular house.  From my experience of moving to town from my country home seven and one half years ago, I want to leave details unspecified.  Remember, I was set on buying a house and when that did not happen and I stopped trying to force it to happen, the Universe led me to a rental home that has provided my family and me with shelter and comfort and which has been the perfect place for us.  I dare not try to force the details of my Mount Dora manifestation.  The focus of my manifestation is to live in Mount Dora and I leave the rest fluid.  I use that one home as a representation of a residence that would be nice to manifest in Mount Dora.  I am not focused on that house in particular.  Although, next time I am in Mount Dora, should that house still be on the market, I will ask the realtor for a showing.  Why not?  It would be fun and actually being in one of those lovely historic Mount Dora homes can help my visualization process.  I want to walk through that house and imagine what it feels like to live in Mount Dora, whether in that house or some other.   

Every time I open my closet door, I see Mount Dora before me.  From my bed, I see Mount Dora before me.  Every night and every morning, I see Mount Dora before me.  That is exactly why Vision Boards, Vision Books or even a Vision Closet Door is important - to keep your vision, your Intention right before you, where you can see it easily and often.  How often have you made a resolution and then forgotten it?  The forgetting probably took place because you had nothing to remind you of it often.  Using pretty pictures, favorite sayings and inspiring words help to magnify the vision and to keep it speaking to you, beckoning you every day.  

3/24/12 Setting The Stage

I believe the Law of Attraction is much more than just setting an Intention for something.  Your frame of mind, the way you live your life and treat others, the gratitude you have for your current situation and the happiness that you create for yourself and others are more important than the Intention itself.  Remember we can attract what we want or what we don’t want depending on the vibrations we are sending out. 

To begin my Manifesting Mount Dora project, I knew the first step was to reacquaint myself with all the positive attitudes and actions that help set the stage for attracting an Intention that is beneficial and desirable. 

For me, the quote below sums up where to begin:

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
    To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
    To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~ Christian D. Larson

We think of the Law of Abundance and related prosperity teachings as recent discoveries or revelations.  When in fact, these “new age” ideas are not new at all.  Christian D. Larson (1874 - 1962) and others such as Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Emma Curtis Hopkins (1849 - 1925), James Allen (1864–1912) , Wallace Wattles (1860–1911), Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970), Joseph Murphy (1898 - 1981), and Annie Rix Militz (1856 - 1924), to name a few, were writing and teaching about abundance long before the popularity of the mega-selling book, The Secret, a few years ago.  In their day, the prosperity movement was called “new thought” or “theosophy”.  Many of their teachings are available online as free e-books. 

My first step, then, is to adopt the Optimist Creed as my personal statement, changing the words to personalize the meaning and to repeat my version of the Optimist Creed every Monday morning:

I am so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
I talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
I make all my friends feel that these is something worthwhile in them. .
I look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
I think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best.
I am just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about your own.
I forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
I wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
I give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
    I am too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
I think well of myself and proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
    I live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

(Remember to make affirmations and positive statements personal and to always use the present tense.) 

For me, another important step in this journey is to have a Gratitude Journal.  Fortunately, I’ve been using one since April 2008, but, honestly, my use of it has been intermittent.  I record my gratitudes faithfully, which for me means several times a week, for three, maybe four weeks, then I slack off and only write in it once or twice a month.  At some point, my guilt will build as I see my Gratitude Journal laying neglected on my bedside table and I resolve to start journaling again.  And I do - for awhile.  You know the drill - don’t we all have the same scenario with some aspect of our lives?  Oddly enough though, I feel better when I write in my Gratitude Journal - I have a better attitude, life flows more smoothly - I honestly feels it helps.  So, why don’t I use it regularly if I know it helps me?  The same reason I don’t exercise as often as I should or I eat junk that saps my energy.  And what reason is that?  I think the answer is paramount to my success with this project.  Why don’t I use my Gratitude Journal regularly, why don’t I exercise and eat right, why don’t I do what makes me feel better? 

For me, and the answers may be different for you, I know my lack of self-care (and I call it that because I believe all these actions are a form of self-care) is caused by the following reasons:

1.  Stress.  Usually associated with my work, which requires me to put in very long hours a few times a year.  And, sometimes, related to home life and the attitudes and actions of those around me. 

2.  Depression.  In “my past life” I did experience clinical depression and that is not what I am talking about now, although, clinical depression could definitely be a problem for anyone trying to manifest an intention.  When I am stressed and tired, I easily fall into a feeling of depression - the blues.  I don’t feel hopeless but I feel too tired to help myself.  I want to waste time rather than use it wisely.  I watch too much TV or play word games on my smart phone.  My reading declines and my writing just does not happen at all. 

3.  Fatigue/Illness.  Fatigue starts with stress, then I get depressed and I don’t take good care of myself physically, spiritually or emotionally.  Then, I get sick.  When I am working long hours, I don’t appear to be fatigued - I accomplish a lot because I have to.  People see me as the Energizer Bunny, quickly completing a task and immediately starting the next one.  My stamina is high or so it seems.  Unfortunately, all my energy is depleted by the time my work day is done and, considering that I may be working seven days a week, every day is a work day.  I arrive home with almost no energy for eating, showering and climbing in bed.  During the day, I eat poorly, don’t drink enough water and the only exercise I get is running from one office to another.  I can manage on that schedule for a month or two and then my body says “Enough already!” and illness sets in, usually in the form of major allergy issues, severe colds, bronchitis, sinus infections and back, neck and hand pain. 

I realize it is of great importance that I find ways to control or counteract the stress, depression, fatigue and illness in my life.  Wow, that is a lot to take on.  I am 57 years old and still have not identified ways to live my life doing my work and dealing with home life and others and not be mired in stress, depression, fatigue and illness several times a year. 

Fortunately, my work is relatively normal now - my busiest time of the year just past - so I have a reprieve for a few months unless something unexpected comes up.  I will put the work stress issue to the side for now. 

Home life stress is another biggie.  Our household is filled with adults from 72 to 26 and children from 5 to 3.  We all have different personalities, habits, schedules and problems.  I can do my best to contribute positively to our household by following the Optimist Creed, but I cannot change anyone else or solve everyone’s problems and that is hard for me to accept.  Most of my life I have been a people-pleaser, always trying to please and help those around me.  Sometimes even forcing unwelcome and unsolicited help on others.  Focusing on how someone else should change, rather than how I can change.  Yes, it is tough for me to be caring and helpful without taking on everyone else’s problems as my own.  And, when I shoulder another’s problems, I burden myself with baggage that is not mine to carry. I am getting better at setting boundaries because I’ve learned that each of us is on our own path, we each have a mission and we each have our own lessons to learn.  Although I can help, I cannot fix.  I can reach out, but not hold tight.  I can teach you, but I cannot learn for you.  I find it helpful to realize that by interfering in someone else’s life I am committing a robbery.  I am stealing the experience and the lesson that belongs to her/him and, thereby, hindering that person’s spiritual growth.  If you do your child’s homework, you are stealing knowledge from your child and if I make decisions for someone else, I am robbing that person of personal growth and self-fulfillment.  To help with my home life stress, I need to find a way to keep my mind sharp to my tendency to assume problems and worries that are not mine.  My Gratitude Journal can help with that goal.  I will daily express gratitude for being mindful of how I treat others and their problems.  Did you notice I said “daily”?  Yes, I will commit to using my Gratitude Journal daily.  And, I will add affirmations to my journal.  If I feel I may have overstepped my boundaries regarding others, I will write an affirmation of releasing the need to be in control and will repeat it for at least three days. 

For me, depression and stress go hand-in-hand.  If I can get a handle on stress, depression should be minimal.  I believe that writing in my Gratitude Journal daily will help keep depression at bay, but I will also add more music to my life.  Music is one of the best mood-soothers there is.  Although I love music, I don’t make a point of listening to it (and I mean listening to the music I want to hear) as often as I could or should.  These days music is available to us nearly everywhere at nearly anytime on radios, CD players and digital players in our houses and our cars, on our TV’s and computers, on IPods and MP3 players and through our phones.  Music makes me feel good, so I pledge to start listening to more of it. 

The last item on my list is fatigue/illness.  If stress and depression are less, so should be fatigue and illness.  But, I can also be proactive in preventing them.  My weekly yoga class is already a passion of mine that is extremely instrumental in easing my back and neck pain, but the class is only every seven days and by the time that day rolls around I am suffering with aches, pains, fatigue and stiffness.  Certainly a few added activities the other six days will help get me through until my next yoga class with less physical discomfort.  My plan is to add stretches and light weights to my morning routine and to walk at least one half mile three times a week.  That is a start. 

I have some concrete plans to get me going.  Next in line: vision boards and books. 

3/22/12 - Is The World My Cookie Jar?

To begin my Manifest Mount Dora project, I have to define what I believe manifesting through the Law of Attraction is or does.  Can I manifest anything I want?  Is the world a giant cookie jar just waiting for me to pry open its lid and indulge in all the goodies within?  Or, are there some rules or limitations to this manifesting thing?  Does my success with attracting what I want rest solely on my ability to manifest and the strength and duration of my focus?  For example, if I want a new car am I sure to attract it as long as my desire for the car is strong enough, my visualization of the car detailed enough and the duration of my focus long enough?  Or is there something greater, more spiritual at play here? 

One of my most profound discoveries as I have studied the Law of Attraction and related subjects relates to the idea of God or gods or a higher power or whatever sort of supreme being in which one believes.  Long ago I’d drifted from the conventional idea of God - you know, that “guy” in the sky who makes and enforces the rules, showers us with blessings or allows us to learn through trials and tribulations, either small or large.  Even the word “god” was uncomfortable to me.  I shied away from all the related elements of my Christian education - Jesus, the saints, the disciples, the Bible, church in general, prayer. 

During that first conversation with my neighbor Kathy about Edwene Gaines, a minister with the Unity Church, I found myself shutting down to Gaines’s message simply because she was a minister in a church and many of her teachings are based on the words and deeds of Jesus.  My mind struggled to stay engaged and interested in our conversation because my past experiences were limiting my ability to consider anything even vaguely related to religion, and particularly to Christianity. 

As my studies continued, I often found myself in the middle of conversations or reading books or attending classes in which religious references were made.  The first prosperity class I attended was at a Unity Church so you can imagine how often I squirmed with discomfort.  Then, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”: The message not the messenger is what’s  important! The message can come from anyone, anywhere at anytime.  The message may arrive in the words of a minister, in the musings of a criminal or in the lyrics of a pop song.  The messenger may be Christian or Muslim or Jewish or atheist or Wiccan or agnostic.  The messenger may be holy or spiritual or a thug.  The message may come from a child who does not even understand the impact of his or her words or from a wise sage who has spent a lifetime studying the spiritual. 

And, what about God?  Is there one?  Does it matter?  I have come to believe in what is often called Universal Energy.  Think of it as a pool of intense energy and we are all part of it.  We started there and we will return there one day and may even come back here again to live another life, to learn more, to teach more.  We draw our strength and our peace from that pool.  Together we are what some may call “god”.  That is what I believe.  But, you don’t have to believe the same thing because you are here to have your own experience, not mine.  My experience over 57 years has led me to embrace the belief of Universal Energy, but your experience may have led you to a different belief.   We each have our own path and that is okay.  We need to respect one another and our individual paths.  We don’t have to believe exactly the same to learn from one another. 

As part of the “I am here for a reason” philosophy that resonates with me, I believe we have a “higher calling” or a mission.  Some of us wander all over the place and never discover why we came here, some discover why late in life and others seem to emerge from diapers with the knowledge and insight that others strive for years to obtain.  Have you ever met a child that seems wiser than his years would allow?  Do you know someone who is an “old soul”?  My belief is that these people have come back in human form many times and  are further along their paths than some of the rest of us.  These people are the teachers, the guides and the sages.  They have a spiritual connection that is stronger than most.  They just seem to know  the answers to life’s toughest questions.  We consider them prophets, teachers, rabbis, pastors, philosophers, medicine men or women, yogis.  They teach us in churches, mosques, synagogues, temples, ashrams and schools.  They preach, they write, they teach, they lead. And, sometimes, they are the old man down the street that always has good advice or the grandmother that taught us how to survive the hard times in life or the singer who writes songs that touch our souls. 

So, if we are here for a reason, if we have a higher calling, how does that play into the whole Law of Attraction theory?  Would someone with a higher calling use the Law of Attraction for stuff - fancy cars, a big house, expensive clothes?  Well, maybe.  Maybe that is his/her calling  - to show us what we can manifest.  There are certainly plenty of people out there making lots of money telling people how to attract stuff.  That use of manifestation can seem cheap and tawdry, but who are we to judge?  Again, we don’t know the path of others.  If someone can use the Law of Attraction to get whatever they want, no matter how shallow it may appear to  others, does it cheapen the method in any way?  I don’t think so because, again, we don’t know the path that someone else is on.  Maybe that person who manifested all kinds of material items seems shallow to us, but what if that person’s reason for being here is to experience having lots of stuff?  Perhaps that person lived in devastatingly poor circumstances in another life and know has the opportunity to learn what wealth is.  Or perhaps that person has a lesson to learn in overindulgence or greediness.  Again, who knows?  Who should be the judge of another’s path? 

I do believe that manifestation only occurs when we are on our path - even if that path is not obvious to others.  There is a higher good, even if we don’t see the “good” part.  I also believe that the Law of Attraction only works when you are connected to your higher path and when  what you are desiring is the best experience for your evolvement.  When I wanted to move to town, I was considering buying a house and that did not happen.  I was devastated when deal after deal fell through for me.  When I finally stopped trying to control all the details of how I was to move to town, I was given a rental home that I’ve loved for move than seven years.  In retrospect, I know that buying a house, any house, was not the best thing for me.  I was on my path towards higher good, but I was overly involved in the details and making choices that were not good for me.  The Universe stepped in and said no, buying a house is not the what you need. 

Manifesting is not just black or white.  Sometimes what we manifest might seem like a nightmare, but, perhaps, that nightmarish experience is exactly what we needed to move forward on our path.   And, sometimes, the nightmare we are experiencing is because we are not on our path at all.  Complicated?  Yes. 

Manifesting and our higher good may seem like fate, but it cannot be called fate in the true sense of the word.  According to dictionary.com fate is:

fate
1.
something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot: It is always his fate to be left behind.
2.
the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time: Fate decreed that they would never meet again.
3.
that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny: Death is our ineluctable fate.
4.
a prophetic declaration of what must be: The oracle pronounced their fate.
5.
death, destruction, or ruin.

The Law of Attraction says that we attract both negative and positive into our lives according to what vibrations and energies we are emitting.  Often our negative vibes may be attracting what we don’t want - more negativity, fear, loss, lack.  We can blame the negativity, which certainly is the cause of unwelcome experiences, but we can also see that our negativity has attracted unwelcome experiences into our lives so we can learn lessons that will move us toward our higher good.  We do have choices.  We are born with a purpose and that can be seen as a type of fate, but how we move forward cultivating and achieving that purpose is not fate.  It is personalized action.  We may not be aware that we are attracting what enters our lives, but we are - unconsciously or consciously.  Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.”  Fighting against something focuses our attention on the very thing we are fighting against and therefore we attract more of that thing.  Likewise with our thoughts.  Rather than thinking about what would make our lives better, we think about what is making our lives miserable so we attract more of the same.  Mother Teresa was an expert on the Law of Attraction and she said, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.”  She understood that anti-anything attracts more of the same. 

Another element to the Law of Attraction is gratitude.  Yes, we all feel gratitude when what we desires becomes reality, but the tricky part is that we must have gratitude now - before we get what we want.   We must have gratitude for our lives right now.  Gratitude is the most positive feeling we have.  Gratitude for what exists now will help you manifest what you want in the future. 

And, to me the trickiest “rule” of the Law of Attraction is the that we must always ask in the name of  the greater good.  If you believe we are all part of the same energy pool or the same cosmos or we are all children of God, then you must realize that what is good for  you must also be for the greater good of all.  That seems like a heavy burden, but it isn’t really.  What makes me truly happy allows me to share my happiness with others, thereby, making them happy.  If I am moving forward on my path, it just naturally follows that I am better able to help others move forward on their path to a higher calling.  Manifesting a car may seem like a very unspiritual pursuit but not necessarily.  If I have a good, reliable car, my life is easier and I have more time and money to spend on other pursuits that will move me to my higher good or allow me to help others on their path to higher good.  Manifesting a car may be your first step out of poverty or it may provide transportation for you to take your child to school - the same child that will discover a cure for cancer.  That may sound over-the-top, but it illustrates how all of our desires and manifestations are interrelated.  We do not dream in a vacuum. 

The last bit of advice I want to give now on the manifesting is that the only time we truly have is this moment - the one you are living right now.  The past is gone and the future has not and may not happen.  The world and the Universe exist in the NOW.  Therefore, your words and thoughts of manifestation must exist in the now for the Universe to understand.  Choose your words carefully.  See yourself and speak of yourself in the situation you desire as if it is happening right now - not tomorrow or next year - right now.  I AM a college graduate with a medical degree.  I AM living a lovely historical home in Mount Dora.  I AM married to the perfect person for me.  I AM driving a reliable car in good condition that will safely take me wherever I want to go.    

Yes, complicated, but, then again, very simple.  Be conscious of what you believe is your higher calling, if you can identify it at this stage of your life.  Identify what you really want.  Be aware of your thoughts and your feelings.  As soon as you are aware of a negative thought or feeling, transform it into something positive.  Use positive words especially when expressing your desires.  Avoid negative thoughts and images.  Always do good.  Use your imagination to clearly see what you desire.

Many books have been written about the Law of Attraction and, obviously, I cannot cover all the theories about it.  Nor, do I want to.  I am just hitting the points that seem most important to me, the ones that have made a difference in my life.  The ones I plan to use as I move forward on this manifesting journey.  I suggest you read as much as you can and determine what resonants best with you and then apply what you’ve learned.  You can always make adjustments to your approach later.  Remember, it is a journey.   

Next, I will talk about how I am following my own advice - stay tuned!

3/20/12 - Manifesting Mount Dora is Born

Eight years ago today I was celebrating the 28th year of my one and only marriage - a marriage that was plagued with great problems, a marriage that had sucked the life out of me.  I am able to look back with almost no animosity or regrets, but getting to this place has been a slow and difficult trek. 

On that anniversary night, I was on anti-depressants, I felt helpless and hopeless, but just a few months before, I had made a choice that would, in time, change my life forever.  I had convinced my husband to allow a homeless, runaway girl, originally from Honduras, to live with us.  The plan was just to help her a little, give her a safe place to land until she turned eighteen and could be on her own.  That choice was uncharacteristic, particularly since we never had children of our own, it was unexpected, it was different, it was outside of my comfort zone.  And, I have learned, it is often those steps into the unknown that change everything.

That teenage girl wrapped herself around our hearts and by the time of our anniversary, only four months after she filled our guest room with new smells and sounds, we thought of her as our daughter.

Isabel was too astute not to notice almost immediately that our marriage was melting like snow on a summer’s day.  She finally had a home and a family and she did not want to lose us and she did not want us to lose each other.  She worked harder to save our marriage than we did.  Well, that is not entirely true.  My husband and I did try, at various times, to save our relationship.  A previous go at marriage counseling failed miserably and the current weekly meetings with a different therapist were not producing great results.

For several years our anniversaries had become less about happiness and celebration and more about irritation and disappointment.  Isabel tried to make our 28th anniversary special.  She cleaned the house, prepared a lovely dinner, made arrangements to be away during the evening and then left us alone for what she hoped would be a romantic and love-rekindling night.  It wasn’t. 

Within six months, I was announcing, at our marriage counseling session, that I was done, I was through, I was ready to move on.  To get to that place of giving up, something I’d not been able to do for the previous ten years of marital decline, I had to throw out the “happy” pills that only masked my depression with a manic giddiness and hyper-activity and face the reality that my life was in shambles.  Disdain was the strongest feeling we had for each other.  Not hate, but disdain.  Disappointment surrounded us every day.  Our finances, which had never been good, were a sinkhole of too much, too little, horrible mistakes, neglect and fear.  My situation had worsened over the years and I did not see it happening because of the happy pills and a belief in the old and horrible adage: Life sucks and then you die.  

After my grand announcement at the therapist’s office, my husband stormed out and the counselor asked what were my plans.  I had no plans.  I had no idea how to get out or move on.  But, I knew I must.  Somehow.  I had no answers, but my desperation was so immense, just knowing that I needed to go was enough. 

 I had no desire to stay where we lived in the country and I knew my husband would never move so, somehow, someway I needed to move to town.  At the time, we, or should I say I, had six dogs and four cats.  How could I go anywhere with all those pets?  I could not buy a place and who would rent to me with a menagerie like that?  I had almost no money.  I had Isabel to think about.  How would I start this new life? 

I still look back in amazement that I was brave enough, or maybe desperate enough, to take a step into the unknown future, especially since I’d spent most of my life avoiding uncertainty and insecurity. 

I hoped someone would come to my rescue, but no one did.  My first ideas and plans were bad ones, but I pursued them aggressively until my forehead ached from hitting brick wall after stone wall after concrete wall.  A month had passed and I was still somewhat inhabiting the same house as my husband, spending as much time as I could in town with friends, running Isabel back and forth from town to our country home and then heading back to town myself.  This lifestyle, if you could call it that, could not go on indefinitely.  I needed to move, I needed to get out of there.  

Without realizing it, I had a put an Intention out to the Universe - a concept I did not know at the time.  My Intention was to move to town.  I tried to make it happen my way and it didn’t.  Not until I ran out of my ideas and stopped beating my head on all those walls did the pieces began to fall into place. 

So, why am I writing about all of this?  Because in the time that has passed since then, I’ve studied and learned about the Law of Attraction.  On and off I have seen it work in my life and in retrospect I know it was working in the fall of 2004 - I just did not know that at the time.  My experience with manifesting has been spotty at best.  My inability, or my unwillingness, to be focused and steadfast has kept me from using the Law of Attraction as often or as well as I would have liked. 

I am now faced with a strong desire that I wish to manifest and I am using this blog to put the Law of Attraction to work for me.  By writing about what I am learning, doing and experiencing, I intend (Ah, another of those intentions!) to stay focused, inspired and in a state of learning, growing and manifesting.  And maybe someone who is reading this will learn something, too. 

The number one question at this point is what do I want to manifest?  First, I should explain that my husband passed away before we ever divorced. Isabel will be 26 in less than two weeks and is the mother of an almost five-year-old boy and a girl who turned three yesterday.  A wonderful man is in my life and we live together.  Isabel and her two children moved in with us 18 months ago, while her husband is in chiropractic college in another city.  I have a bookkeeping business that mostly supports our household.  Life is busy, stressful and sometimes gloriously wonderful.  But, it could be better. 

We live in the same rental house that the Universe provided in 2004 and although it has been a good home for us, I feel our time here is coming to an end.  Our home is too small for everyone living here and the stress in mounting.  We are very dissatisfied with the landlord’s upkeep of the house and the constant maintenance issues are also causing tension.  Add personality and money issues to the mix and our family is dealing with a lot.                

Not only do I feel we are drifting from this house, but also from our town.  Many ties we had to people and places here have dissolved.  This has been a slow process and over the last few years I have imagined living elsewhere - St. Augustine, New York City - and although I put out the Intentions to move to one or the other of them, I always had this little nagging feeling, this wiggly uncomfortable feeling, that something was not quite right, that those places were not quite right.  Yes, I put out the Intention to the Universe, but I held back.  The Law of Attraction says your Intention has to be 100% focused and visualized and the best I could do was maybe 75%.  Not enough. 

I think back to 2004 and realize that my desire to leave my husband and our home in the country was more than 100% - it consumed me.  And I need that kind of dedication now. 

Three years ago, my man and I started visiting a little town in central Florida named Mount Dora.  We unexpectedly loved that sweet, historic town.  But, it was not until this past December, our fourth visit to Mount Dora together and my fifth including a trip with my daughter and grandchildren, that I was hit with the realization that we could live very happily there.  In fact, I felt as if we were meant to be there.  And, that is how this Intention was born. 

I have no idea how to make this happen, especially since I really want to live in Mount Dora and not have to work.  I am 57 years old and I have worked almost non-stop since I was seventeen.  Our country and the world are in the midst of what is being called The Great Recession. My chances for retirement before death were never good to begin with and are now almost non-existent.  So, not only does the move to Mount Dora seem logically impossible, but my retirement seems even more so.   I see no way to make this happen with working harder, trying harder or thinking harder so I must choose a different path - the same one that led me to the house in which I sit right now - the path of Manifestation Through The Law Of Attraction. 

I was first introduced to the Law of Attraction and other New Age-y ideas and beliefs in 2005, a year after my exodus from my husband and our home.  Raised Catholic, married to a Southern Baptist and surrounded by what are commonly called “rednecks”, I was, for many years, isolated from anything but conservative, Christian-based thinking.  As a teenager and in college, I dabbled outside mainstream beliefs, but my adult life was sadly un-adventuresome with little creative thought.  But, a random conversation with a neighbor about Rev. Edwene Gaines of the Unity Church and the purchase of a book called The Celestine Prophecy shook up my world.   

I immersed myself in books and conversations about the Universe, as opposed to a male-based God, and about the Law of Attraction.  I learned about Abraham-Hicks.  I read Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Rhonda Byrne, Catherine Ponder, Napoleon Hill, Shakti Gawain,  and many others.  I reacquainted myself with Buddhism, I learned to chant, I made vision boards and kept a gratitude journal, I co-created a group called Prosperous Living that met weekly for two years, I attended prosperity classes and practiced Feng-Shui, I participated in Chord Cutting Ceremonies and learned about astrology and Tarot, I visited psychics and card readers, I met my power animals and spirit guides, I discovered synchronicity and watched it work in my life.  And, then I just lived my life.  I worked and paid the bills and worried about money and got older and more tired.  I watched the economy go bust and read depressing articles about foreclosures and homelessness and high unemployment.  I felt trapped in a very negative world until that cool December evening, standing in Gilbert Park, Mount Dora, when I realized that I can create a better future for myself and hopefully for my family, too and I knew that future would be in Mount Dora. 

So, the Intention is out there and I am going to use every tool I know to manifest my new home in Mount Dora and I am going to share the experience right here.

Mount Dora on Dwellable