Connections

I haven't written in a long time - not here, not anywhere else.  I am still struggling to reconnect with my Manifesting Mount Dora project, but, more than that, life events have interrupted what may have been called "normal".

My man's youngest sibling, a sister, passed away last week after being in a coma for more than a week.  Her  condition and subsequent passing were a shock and his family is still reeling from the loss.

The same day we learned of his sister's condition, one of my dearest friends was hit head-on by a much larger vehicle on the interstate.  Fortunately, she had no life-threatening injuries and no damage to her head, spine, face, neck or internal organs.  However, her body is a jigsaw of breaks, sprains, dislocations and lacerations.  Three operations later, her parts and pieces are reconnected and beginning the healing process, but her recovery will be long and challenging.

These two sad events reminded me how we are all interconnected.  I was not in a coma, I did not die, I was not in an auto accident, I did not go through surgery, but still I was affected by each of these events.  I did not physically feel the pain, but I endured it on an emotional and mental level and I feel the exhaustion of knowing that someone you love is hurting and of the smothering effect of empathy and concern.

Here, the night before Christmas, I feel very disconnected from the holiday hoopla.  I am going through the motions for my grandchildren and my daughter, not feeling the anticipation that normally grows at this time of December.  This year has been so unexpected - sometimes exciting, sad, inspiring and disappointing; often challenging, confusing and discouraging.  Many times I was so hopeful and encouraged and other times I cried for understanding and hope.  Right now, as this year winds to a close, I am taking stock of what I am thinking and feeling.  Weariness is the word that first comes to mind.  I am very tired and no hours of sleep ease the exhaustion.  I have a strong sense of resignation, as though nothing I can do will make a difference.  Intellectually, I don't know if that is true, but that is how I FEEL.  January starts my busiest work time of the year and no matter how deep I delve internally, I cannot find a well of energy big enough to tackle the tasks that come my way at the start of every year.

There is much for which I am grateful. I and my immediate family are relatively healthy.  We have a comfortable home, food on the table and the comforts of modern life.  I have work and a steady income.  My grandchildren fill my life with laughter and love.  My daughter fills me with pride.  My man still makes me laugh and warms our home with song and music.  I know I am blessed.  And, yet I am also disappointed in a deep way I cannot explain in words and I feel guilty and ashamed of this disappointment.

I volunteer at and am on the board of directors for a feminist bookstore.  That store, the two women who own it, the staff, and the patrons feed my soul.  For more than a month, due to family and work responsibilities and all these unexpected events, I have not been able to work at the store or even spend time there.  The store closed last Saturday, temporarily, in preparation of reopening in a different location.  I was excited about the move and all the wonderful changes that come along with it, but I have missed out on the last few weeks at the current location. Friday evening I carved out a couple of hours to go to the bookstore and there my soul was fed.  I shopped the great moving sales, then sunk into a chair and talked to Erica, one of the store owners, who made me feel missed and appreciated.  We talked about everything and about nothing.  It was wonderful.  I relaxed in a way I haven't in several weeks.  I felt a sense of reconnecting with something that had been hiding in a small, dark corner and that is when I wanted to write again.

When I started this blog in March, I thought that by the end of the year I would be closer to manifesting Mount Dora - even if just a little closer - and on this 24th day of December I feel further away that I did in March.  I see clearly than I am still needed here.  My daughter and grandchildren are entrenched in life in our town and I don't see them being ready for a move any time soon.  I also know that I am needed for my injured friend and her partner as the long healing and rehabilitation period starts.  I want to be of assistance in any way I can to make this difficult journey a little easier for them.  And, I can understand that those and other reasons may be why I am not making progress toward the new life I want to create and I am okay with the fact that I am needed right here, right now.  My question is, why almost one year ago, was I given what seemed to be a very clear vision of a life in Mount Dora?  Why was that passion born in me if there is no hope of it becoming reality any time in the near future?  Was I given one more unattainable desire just so I could experience more disappointment?

As I see my friend's life suddenly and unexpectedly changed forever due to an accident she could not avoid, I am even more aware of the fragility of life and that we have no promise of a tomorrow or of a tomorrow that even slightly resembles today.  How many more days do I have to live or how many days do I have to live in a condition even similar to the one I enjoy now?  The life I envisioned in Mount Dora was a life with me as I am now.  Perhaps I could get there 10, 15 or 20 years from now, but that would not be the life that I am visualizing now because I will certainly not be the person I am now.  My vision of life in Mount Dora most definitely includes the man that shares my life now and, with his age being several years in advance of mine, I know that the delay of my manifestation means that he could very well not be present to share it with me or may not be in good enough health to truly enjoy the attainment of a dream we have both nurtured.

As usual, or maybe even more than usual, I have no answers.  I am just a woman writing a blog about - about what?  I am not even sure how to answer that.  Is it still about Manifesting Mount Dora?  Was it ever Manifesting Mount Dora?  Was it about what I want or about who I am or about who I want to be?  I cannot even think that abstractly right now.  I am ending 2012 more confused that I started and I have no idea what to expect or, if I dare, hope for in 2013.

Distance

Right now, my dream of Mount Dora seems far away.  For two weeks my focus was on getting well and, although I am much better, I am still running with a less than full tank.  Now I am focusing on getting ready for our fast-approaching eight-day vacation.  Since I was already behind at work from illness, the last few days have felt a little hectic as I tried to get caught up as well as get ahead before my vacation. I also have been helping out more often with my grandchildren and as wonderful as it is to be more actively involved in their lives, it can also be very tiring keeping up with two children under the age of six!  Each night during the last three weeks, I fell exhausted into bed, not feeling very inclined to engage in manifesting practices and meditations.  It has even been more than a week since my last blog post.  My birth year is winding down and, in previous years, the autumn months before my birthday have produced the biggest changes of my year.  The days are passing and at this moment I feel no closer to what I want to manifest.

I could feel sad or disappointed or hopeless, but I don’t.  I have to live life as it comes and I still have my eye on the prize.  Over the last three weeks, I may not have been focusing on it as much, but I have not forgotten it and I am still doing little things to keep my Mount Dora project on my mind.  But, it did take a backseat to getting well, to caring for my grandchildren, to getting caught up at work and to getting ready for vacation.  A vacation from my routine, even the daily manifesting habits I have cultivated, is a good thing. Even a fun, interesting and inspiring project like Manifesting Mount Dora can turn old and tired without a break.  All but one of our mini vacations this year were spent in Mount Dora and as much as I love those long weekend trips to my favorite town, I think its time for a change of scenery.

Have you ever been working hard or studying intently and your mind just freezes or your brain becomes so tired you cannot think anymore or absorb anymore?  What do you do?  Take a break.  Go for a walk, engage in another activity, take a nap, play with your cat.  Well, my break will be a few days in New Jersey and New York.  I will be looking at skyscrapers rather than the one and two story buildings of Mount Dora. I will be walking in Central and Washington Square Parks rather than Donnelly and Grantham Parks. I will stroll down Broadway and Fifth Avenue rather than Baker and Tremain Streets. I will be surrounded by the hectic bustling of a mega-city, rather than the laid back, slow-paced atmosphere of a small, Southern town. I will be donning jackets and socks rather than t-shirts and sandals.  The change will be refreshing and invigorating.

As I prepare to go, I am filled with gratitude that I am able to take this trip, that my daughter and other family and friends will take care of things at home while I am gone, that my clients are flexible enough to allow me an eight-day vacation, that my man's mother is a gracious, fun and loving hostess to us while we are there, that his niece and/or sister provide us with transportation to and from the train station and, most of all, that four years ago my man  introduced me to the excitement and beauty of New York City.

I will have limited time and intermittent internet access for more than a week, so my blog may lay dormant during that time, but that is okay, too.  Even a break from writing this blog, which I love doing, can be renewing.  Because life can become too predictable and too ruttish, we all need time off, downtime, time to have new experiences and see new sights and that is exactly what I am going to do!!  I plan to return feeling healthy, happy, strengthened and focused. 

Mount Dora on Dwellable

Living Life As It Is

Last week, at this time, my man and I were in Mount Dora.  So was Tropical Storm Isaac.  That seems to be the theme of the summer, we escape for rest and relaxation and are accompanied by a tropical storm.  It happened in May with Tropical Storm Beryl, in June with Debby and last week with Isaac.  Fortunately, we stayed safe and still had a good time and our home and family, who also were in the path of the three storms, suffered no ill effects of the unpredictable weather.  


Being in Mount Dora, as always, was restorative.  Much rest, walks in the rain or between the rains, lots of reading, some writing, naps, visits with people we have come to know in our favorite town and the pleasure of meeting other residents, and many good meals.  Good times can be had even in threatening weather.  We discovered a book store called Barrel of Books and Games where I purchased some gifts for my grandchildren and several books, including a three-book series of novels that take place in Mount Dora called the Fairlawn Series by Angela Hunt.  Last night, having completed a wonderful novel about people and dogs living near Central Park in Manhattan (another of my favorite places) called “The New Yorkers”, I started the first in the Fairlawn series, “Doesn’t She Look Natural?”  I am enjoying the story very much in spite of the slight “Christian” side-theme, which is present but not preachy.  The story is not unusual: husband has mid-life crisis leaving his wife and two sons for their nanny, who is, of course, a fraction of his age.  Mom is left struggling financially, forced to sell their home and move in with her retired mother, searching for a job in Washington, D.C. while hindered by her powerful husband’s influence there, and trying to remain hopeful about the future as she assumes almost full responsibility for raising their two sons.  I have just reached the part when Mount Dora enters the picture.  Mom inherits, from an barely-known great-uncle, a funeral home in Mount Dora and will end up moving her children there to assume management of a business about which she knows nothing.  I am looking forward to seeing how Mount Dora is portrayed in the book - favorably, I am sure, since the book is sold and promoted in the town!  I like the idea of the unknown business challenge and am interested in seeing how mom and boys adjust to their new lives in Mount Dora, so far-removed and so immensely different than their lifestyle and  experiences in the D.C. area.

My Labor Day weekend plans to finish painting the table and chairs I purchased for my grandchildren back in July were pushed aside when my client, who has closed his business but still needs me to work for him until the end of the year, decided that he does not want to keep his office available as a place for me to work and asked me to transfer his bookkeeping records, computer and printer and some office supplies to my house.  Since my house is overflowing with three adults and two children living here full-time and two other family members staying for weeks at a time several times a year, it was a challenge to make room for more stuff.  But, because he was not only a good client but also a friend, I did my best to accommodate his wishes.  More rearranging, more organizing, but I think I made it work.  Waiting now for my computer-expert friend to come by and tweak what I started, but I am confident we can make the situation satisfactory.  

On Thursday, I leave for a women-only retreat called Expanding Past The Fear at an ocean resort in the Florida Panhandle.  I am excited to be part of this event.  Not only will it involve lots of self-care, but we will work through our fears - fears that may be holding us back from who we should be and what we should be doing.  I believe that we are all a work-in-progress and anything we can do to improve who we are and where we are furthers us on our path to prosperity and personal fulfillment.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of this retreat!

Life continues even when you have a manifestation project.  You cannot stop living, nor should you, to concentrate on what you want to create in the future.  I know people who put their current lives on hold to while away the hours dreaming of what they want the future to hold.  Life is about energy and energy is about action.  Action is in the present, the now.  Work must be done, bills paid, food prepared, lawns mowed, clothes washed, children hugged, school lessons learned, floors swept, bodies showered, books read.  Our actions must naturally revolve around what creates and maintains the life we are living right now, but we also should carve out time for what we want to manifest.  Just a little time.  Some meditation, some visualization every day.  Some journaling is good and for me, blogging.  For whatever it is you want to manifest, set aside a little time everyday, even if no more than fifteen minutes, to keep your dream alive and fresh.  Embrace and participate in the life you have now, even if your desire is to create a new, different life.  Appreciate what you have now to energize what you want in the future.

Sharing The Energy

I am energetic and excited about my Manifesting Mount Dora project.  I love writing this blog about it.  I love thinking about Mount Dora, visiting there regularly and visualizing our home and life there.  Some days my enthusiasm is higher than others and, although I can usually conjure up at least some positive thoughts about my manifesting enterprise, little help is welcome.  In answer to my desire for help, The Universe provided a class. 

About two or three weeks ago, I was nearly finished reading a book called "Creating Money: Attracting Abundance" by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer - a book I had hesitated reading because of the title - I feared it would be overly materialistic, but that was not the case at all.  In fact, the book looks evenly at abundance from all aspects, not just the money angle.  At the end of each chapter there are exercises called "playbooks", but I had skipped those intending to come back to them later.  To my surprise, as I neared the end of the book, I received a Facebook message from Mary Madeline Day inviting me to a class on that same book.  Her class would run for 12 weeks on Tuesdays.  Tuesdays are not good for me and I emailed her my regrets about not being able to attend.  Since I was the first person to show an interest in the class, she offered to move it to whatever night worked for me.  Not only did I get a great class to help bolster my manifesting enthusiasm, but I was given the opportunity to choose the day of the week for the class! 

Our first class had 13 people in attendance, including Madeline.  Many had not known about the class or decided to attend until late that afternoon and I believe I was the only person, other than Madeline, who had previously read the book.  In fact, most did not even have a copy of the book.  The bulk of our time was spent getting to know one another and sharing why we were there and what we wanted to gain from the class, ending with a meditation.  We had another session last night and I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience, especially the sharing of experiences and insights.  A standout inspiration for me was when one of my classmates shared that he had been trying to manifest a new mate and he always imagined the needs and desires that she would fulfill for him, seeing himself as the magnet attracting her. During a recent visualization practice, he was inspired to start thinking of her as trying to manifest him and what needs and desires he could answer in her life.  Changing his imagery to include her as a manifestor increased the power he felt when he was doing his visualization.  What a wonderful idea to think not only of me as manifesting something, but also think of that thing or person as manifesting me.  I can imagine a house in Mount Dora waiting for my family and me to fill its emptiness with laughter and love. Since everything is energy, it is easy to imagine even inanimate objects as sending out magnetic rays to attract you at the same time you are engaged in attraction practices on your end.  I loved this idea and am now practicing it regularly. 

This week I managed to manifest a painting into my life.  I took advantage of my grandchildren being gone for two weeks to redecorate my living room and dining room.  I have worked hard on this project which is why I have not been blogging as much.  I am determined to get everything completed before they arrive home on Sunday.  After my mom passed away, I inherited a framed magazine cover that shows a photo of her and another bicycle racer (she was one of the first female bicycle racers).  The frame is of a rather old-fashioned gold style that matches nothing I have, but I was afraid that the magazine cover would disintegrate if I tried to reframe it.  I decided to place it on a wall in my dining room, but it there was too much space around it.  Something else needed to be added, but I had nothing that matched the gold frame.  I shopped and shopped looking for a gold frame that I could use for some other photo I had on hand or a piece of artwork with a gold frame that would be complimentary, but I found nothing.  Soon I fell into the time-is-running-out-I-have-to-get-this-done-NOW mindset, which inevitably leads to poor choices and wasted money.  Time to chill.  So what if I don't finish that one wall before the children return?  Its okay.  So, I let it be, just staring at it from time to time, imagining what might look good there.  Fast forward a few days.  One of my clients is in the process of closing his business and out of the blue he offered to give me one of the paintings in his office.  I never told him this, but for the past 14 years working there I have admired and lusted for that painting.  And, conveniently, it is in a gold frame and is the right size to compliment my mom's photo!  To make it even better, the painting is called "The Grandmother of God" - somehow that seems a fitting name for a piece of artwork to hang next to my deceased mom's photo.  All that time I spent staring at the empty wall space and imagining what would look nice there led to the manifesting of not only a painting that is fitting, but a painting that I have long admired and wished to own.  I think that is really, really cool.

So, if I can manifest a painting, I have no doubt that I can manifest my new life and home in Mount Dora.  And, I will be doing just that as I go to Mount Dora later this month and walk around the town imagining myself living there, when I identify the house that I know is trying to manifest me as its owner and as I trust that all our acquaintances in Mount Dora are wishing to manifest me as their neighbor.  

I Want What I Want When I Want It!

One of the biggest disappointments in life is - well, disappointment. Disappointment is not being happy with a result. To be disappointed one must have expectations. Expectations come from a sense of desire or control. We want something and we do what we can, if anything, to control the process so we obtain our desired outcome. Sometimes we are successful, but often, not. A vacation is ruined because the weather was rainy. Someone else, perhaps undeservedly, got the promotion you wanted. The store sold out of the dress that was perfect for your birthday party. In spite of hours of hard work, your boss did not like your project presentation. Regardless of your constant encouragement, your son does not want to play baseball.


I have been called, with good reason, a control-freak. I am better than I once was, but I still have issues with letting go of control. Trying to always be in control is a sure way to experience disappointment. First, we cannot control everything or, really, very much. Second, we tend to try and control others and that is just plain impossible.


I used to work ridiculously long hours, rarely taking a vacation or days off. I felt like my work life was out of control, but actually I had a great deal of control at work and that was causing me to lose control in other areas of my life. Because I felt like I had little control at home, in spite of Herculean efforts otherwise, I spent more time at work where I had more control. The more I worked, the less control I had elsewhere. A vicious cycle and a life out of balance.


Since I rarely took time off, when I did, I wanted my plans to go exactly as I hoped. Inevitably they did not, which I took as a personal slap in the face from God or The Universe or whomever. If I worked 60 hours a week, the weather should cooperate on my one weekend off, right? And, when it didn't, I was not only disappointed, I was angry, sullen, depressed and inconsolable. How dare life do this to me? I work hard. I deserve my few breaks to be perfect, don't I?


I chose, on some level, to live an unbalanced life. I was not respecting myself, others in my life or all aspects of my life - home, relationships, work, spirit, recreation, etc. - so why would l expect life or The Universe or God to respect me? I honestly thought the weather should conform to my expectations and yet most days I was so busy working or I was so tired, I did not appreciate or even notice the weather.


Expectations, whether reasonable or not, set us up for disappointment. We all experience disappointment, even those of us who are not control-freaks. If disappointment comes your way, you can either go with the flow adjusting your sails to the new wind direction or you can fight against the wind - an effort that will exhaust you but probably not change anything - or you can just give up and be angry, depressed and sullen. Allowing that we all face disappointment because we are human and we want what we want, the only way to survive disappointment unscarred is to adjust your sails and allow the new wind to direct you to some place unexpected. You may have wanted to arrive in Hawaii, but ended up in Seattle - so, enjoy Seattle! You may have wanted the big promotion, but after being overlooked again, you moved on to a new and better position with a different employer. You may have had your eye set on the burgundy living room furniture, but won't the green do just as well, if not better?


My grandkids have reached the age of disappointment. Children until the age of 3 or 4 live in the moment. Their desires are short-lived, easily forgotten. Their memories are short. Disappointment is not a big part of their lives. My grandson is now 5 and he is starting to have desires and remembers what was promised and never delivered. He wanted to go to Dinosaur World and without much consideration I agreed to take him there this summer. As the heat and humidity descended on Florida, I had second thoughts of spending hours walking around an amusement park of fake dinosaurs with two small children, all of us grumpy from heat exhaustion. I suggested a different trip, one that would provide us with a cooler experience. Still living in the moment much of the time, he jumped at my suggestion and off we all went. We had a fabulous time, but days later he started thinking about Dinosaur World and became petulant that we had not gone there, in spite of the great time he had on our alternate vacation. I assured him we will go in the fall, but still he was disappointed. Life was easier for the adults in my household when his memory was shorter and his expectations nonexistent. Now he, and to some extent his younger sister, are beginning to have wants that they remember and when we, or life, do not deliver as requested, disappointment and sometimes tears are the result. They have a long and tear-filled process ahead to learn to let go of expectations and disappointments.


How like small children I am! I want what I want when I want it and I deserve it! But as an adult, I need to realize that what I want may not be best for me at all or at least at this time, like Dinosaur World in the summer. And, as disappointing as that realization is, there is a flip side that is exciting and encouraging. Sometimes what I get is better than what I wanted. Sometimes not getting what I wanted is a blessing. Sometimes I may desire something and it seems impossible to obtain (I have no control) but what I want is for my own good or the good of others in my life, so the obstacles seem to miraculously dissolve. That is manifesting - getting into alignment so your desires are good for you or for others.


I want to Manifest Mount Dora. I am not sitting here idly. I am working on myself and my manifestation through visualization, writing, gratitude and any other life-affirming action I can take. But, I have, with great effort, let go of the hows and whens of the process and although I have a vision of what I want to manifest, I am open to adjusting my sails to a change in wind. If I can continue with this semi-detached attitude, I can avoid disappointment if my vision does not become a reality or if it manifests in a different way or at a different time than what I hope for. And, yet, I want what I want and I still hope to obtain it, but I know, because I am learning and evolving as I skip along this path of Manifesting Mount Dora, the end result of the journey cannot possibly be a disappointment.

7/03/12 Living On Standby

I am watching “America’s Got Talent” - not by choice, but because I was resting in the living room while someone else was watching it.  Talent reality shows are a little bit of fun during the first couple of weeks of auditions just because there are some crazily bad performances and a very few amazingly good performances.  After those first few weeks I lose interest because I don’t agree with the decisions of the judges or of “America” and because I usually have something I would rather do.  But, tonight I was struck by the judges decision to review previous performances and then allow some to go through to the next stage of performances, eliminate some entirely and hold others as “standbys”.  The standbys will compete for the “open” positions to move forward in the competition.

Sometimes I feel like I am on standby just like those talent show reality performers.  I am ready to move forward, but for some reason I am being held as a standby.  I am waiting to perform so I can move forward to the next level of competition.  In life, however, I cannot blame the judges.  I am in standby position because I chose not to do what I need to do to move forward with my manifestation and my life. 

I sit here in July, three months and ten days, since I began this Manifesting Mount Dora project.  I am blogging, visualizing, adding to my vison board closet door, keeping a gratitude journal, reading inspiring books, saying affirmations, and visiting Mount Dora and I just don’t feel a sense of movement.  Yes, I know three months and ten days is really not that long, but I want a feeling of forward motion.  So, what can I do to break this feeling of being stuck in the doldrums of summer?

One of the basics of the Law of Attraction is that you have to make room for the new.  Even if the desire of your manifestation has nothing to do with material items, you need to clean out and clear out your life - figuratively and physically.  I look back to the summer of 2004, right before the ending of my “previous life” and the beginning of my present life, and I realize I did a lot of cleaning out, even without realizing what I was doing and how it would affect my future.  Instinctively I knew I needed change, I needed different - anything different.  I was renovating the house I would not live in much longer; I faced the horrible side affects of the depression medication I was on and made a choice to ease off of it (Please know that I am not recommending that anyone stop taking their medications! I eased myself off my medication with the help of a doctor.); I faced many, many problems that were uncontrolled and took steps to figure out how to take charge of and solve them.

So, what can I do now to increase my forward motion?

There are certain unfinished jobs - personal and professional - that I have been avoiding for various reasons and I know now that I must set aside my procrastination and take care of those tasks as soon as possible.  My house is filled to overflowing - partially due to so many people living here and partially due to my reluctance to go through and eliminate what I no longer need or use.  I may not be able to do much about  the overflow due to our large household, but I can do something about my own belongings.

Over the past weekend I made modest progress with my home office space and I tackled and accomplished a work-related task that I have been refusing to face.  Tomorrow is a holiday - the 4th of July - and I plan to use that time to engross myself in another work-related issue that has been hanging over my head for a long while.  Over the upcoming weekend I will clean out my books - and, believe me, I have LOTS of books - and all those little odds and ends of knick-knacks that fill my shelves and tables.  Having some of those trinkets honors memories, but too many are over-kill and I have reached the over-kill stage.  Simplifying is difficult, but necessary, to show the Universe that you are willing and ready to make room for the future.   

I also feel a need to move forward with my writing.  This blog takes more time than I anticipated, but it also excites and fulfills me.  I know I need to be doing more writing and am looking for inspiration and found a little kick-in-the-pants from the book “Bird by Bird - Some Instructions on Writing and Life” by Anne Lamott, one of my favorite writers.  There has to be more time for writing and only I can find those extra moments in each day. 

I have a couple of major personal tasks that are waiting for attention and I am resolved to give my to accomplish those before the end of July.  In fact, the end of July is my goal to have at least 75% of my clearing and cleaning done.
 
This is how I plan to make room for forward motion - to tell the Universe that I am in gear and ready to go.

5/23/12 Righteous Fantasies

I was raised by a father who rarely took a vacation and often worked six or seven days a week.  I followed the same path.  I worked long hours, sometimes ten to twelve hours a day often for seven days a week, month after month.  I rarely took time off and when I did indulge in a vacation, it was usually to visit family and, as many know, those types of holidays from work are not always restful and often not fun.   My husband, now deceased, had a similar childhood experience.  When his family rarely took a “vacation”, it was a two, possibly three, day trip to one of the beaches east of their home in Gainesville.  Not exactly great travelers, were they?  At least the few vacations my father initiated took us out of our state! 

During our nearly thirty year marriage, most of the vacations my husband and I took were what I call “obligatory vacations” - visiting long-distance relatives, attending weddings or funerals, or pre-move trips to find a place to live, etc.  Those obligatory trips often had some moments of fun and joy, but, especially for me, were still working vacations.  First, we traveled long distances, usually driving  6 to 16 straight hours - not restful or fun.  And, spending a week at a relative’s home did not excuse me from domestic duties.  I still helped with food preparation and cleanup.  I still did laundry.  I often helped with childcare and housework, depending on who we were visiting.  A few days off from my paying job was nice, but sometimes I did more domestic work on vacation than I did at home. 

Because cash was always in short supply, these obligatory vacations were less expensive and all we could afford.  Because of our lack of funds and because of the long hours necessary at the majority of my jobs, the most we could manage was possibly one vacation a year that lasted for more than a long weekend.  Many years we did not even take that one week.

In my childhood, I dreamed of traveling.  In fact, I wanted to be a travel writer, venturing around the world and writing articles, stories and books about my experiences.  But, as often happens, I grew up and discovered, or decided, that life had different plans for me.  Rather than being a world traveler, I reluctantly and resentfully became a home-body.  My world travels were reduced to a very few obligatory vacations to visit family and friends with the longest trip being from Florida to Maine to visit my mom.  Two exceptions were trips to Niagara Falls, Canada - one to accompany my niece to a wedding she was attending and another to attend a wedding of my own friends.  Both trips were fabulous, but definitely the exception to the norm of my life. 

For the first few years of my “new life” after leaving my husband, money, and credit for that matter, was even tighter and the most I could manage was a couple of days in St. Augustine each year.  Then, I sold my former home in the country.  By the time of the sale, the real estate market had crashed and the purchase price had been reduced several times just to release me from the mortgage, insurance and tax expenses.  After paying off the mortgage and a few home-related debts, the cash in my pocket was much less than I’d ever thought possible.  Most of that cash went to pay off other financial obligations, leaving me with even less.  But, still, that less was more than I’d had in my bank account for many years.  After experiencing such rough financial times, my plan was to save the money, using it very conservatively, when needed.  It wasn’t much, but it was all I had, so a hoarding mentality took over my mind.  Even though I’d been practicing the Law of Attraction and even though I know that money only has energy when it is being used, I chose to live small and hold tightly to what little I had.  Until. . .

One day, while my man and I were passing time in the public library while some repairs were being done on my car, I picked up a book called “Do Less, Achieve More - Discover the Hidden Power of Giving In” by Chin-Ning Chu.  That book and “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain are the two books at the top of my prosperity recommended reading list.  The book is short and easy to read, so please make the effort. 

While reading that book, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”.  The author tells the story of a 53-year-old woman (I was 54 at the time) who was raised in France and immigrated to the U.S. in her twenties.  She longed to return for an extended visit to her homeland, but the expense of such a trip and her loss of time from work led her to settle for no more than week-long trips, which were never long enough.  Even after being offered a rent-free home for two months in France, she hesitated because of some pressing responsibilities at her job and because she feared losing her job if she took so much time off.  She struggled in vain to find a way to connect such a visit to France with her job so she could justify the lengthy stay with her employer.  Frustrated and disappointed, she nixed the idea of a two-month stay in her homeland.  When she told a friend that there was no way she could go, the friend said, “You weren’t born to work yourself to death.  You were born to fulfill your desire for experiences.  To love well, which includes fulfilling your righteous fantasies, leads you to complete your desire to experience life.  To your soul, the fulfilling of fantasies is as important as accomplishing your career goals.  It is wrong to die without satisfying those fantasies.”  The woman heeded those words and scheduled her trip. That extended stay in France changed her life forever.  She reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, their romance was rekindled and they married.  Her American employer valued her work so highly that he allowed her to continue working for the company from her new, permanent home in France. 

That story was my light-bulb moment.  The words “righteous fantasies” energized and haunted me and, while sitting in the library, I made the decision to use some of the cash from the sale of my home to take a long-dreamed-of trip to New York City.  Within a week, reservations were made and in less than a month, my man and I were off to the city he loves so much and to which he always wanted to introduce me.  Our trip was amazing.  I’d always wanted to visit NYC, but I never dreamed I would love it so much.  Visiting NYC was one of my “righteous fantasies”.  I took ten days off work - the longest I’d ever been away from any job and the longest time off I’d taken since starting my business 11 years before.  Since then, we return to NYC every year and each trip is as amazing the ones before. 


I would have thought that leaving my work for ten days would be impossible, but once I voiced the intention of the New York City trip, all fell into place with amazing simplicity.  The travel plans came together easily.  My work magically slowed to a level that was reasonable to abandon for ten days.  Loose ends tied up into lovely bows of anticipation.  A trip that had once seemed impossible became righteously doable.  And, I have found that to be the case when engaging in other plans.  If the plans are truly righteous, if they are truly what I need and what I desire, if they will elevate, educate and evolve me, if I will have time for rejuvenation and fun, all the details come together like cake batter ingredients - smooth, sweet and tasty! 

It has been years since I thought of “righteous fantasies”.  It took Manifesting Mount Dora to bring those words to mind.  The word “righteous” means morally or ethically justified.  It seems odd to think of our fantasies as being morally or ethically justified.  Righteous just does not seem to be the correct adjective to pair with the word “fantasies”.  But, why don’t we think of our fantasies as righteous?  We are here to live large, to experience boldly.  But, most of us live small and in fear.  I pledge to start visualizing and manifesting other righteous fantasies.  Mount Dora is already in the works.  What next?? 

5/12/12 Peaceful Visualization

I’ve been spending the last week searching for peace - peace in my home, peace in my relationships and peace with the passing of my mother.  After two weeks of turmoil, life has settled down considerably, but peace continues to feel elusive.  This experience has helped me to realize how terribly important peace is to manifesting and visualizing.  When dodging emotional land mines, the meditative state that is best for visualization is difficult to access.  In fact, rest and even sleep are hard to come by.

The kind of peace that is needed is not PEACE as in world peace or even a complete lack of conflict in one’s personal life (although, both of those would be wonderful).  This peace is time free from physical, emotional and mental disturbances.  Even just a few minutes a couple of times a day may be enough.  Although I was able to get some quiet time (no noise), my mind and emotions were still very loud with their unsettlement.  I believe much of the agitation was rooted in a bone-weary tiredness from nights of restless sleep and days of unbalance.  Even as my life has calmed in the last five days, the remnants of disquietude lingered.  Today is better, but there is still healing to be done.  I remind myself that it is all a process and I must take one step at a time, allowing myself time to absorb, adjust and regroup. 

No one can overestimate the importance of personal peace.  You may run all day long with work, family and other obligations, tackling big and small problems, but if you can carve out a few moments of physical quiet, even if just before you fall asleep, and if you can access mental and emotional balance, you can reach a meditative-like state that is chatterless and ripe for visualization and manifestation. 

If I could recommend only one book for those who want to learn more about manifesting, it would be “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain.  I don’t know of  another author who so clearly and precisely explains and describes the practice of using “the power of your imagination to create what you want in life” (quoted from “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain).  Her original book was written in 1978 and was a word-of-mouth success because she so easily presents what some may find to be difficult-to-understand concepts.  She recommends doing visualizations two or three times a day - the most important times being when first awaking and just before sleeping as those are the times when our minds tend to be less busy.

Gawain recommends complete relaxation to perform a visualization.  Deep relaxation allows your brain waves to slow down, thereby becoming more receptive to any introduced thoughts or images.   Breathing very deeply and slowly may help if you have difficulty calming your mind.  When you feel comfortable, peaceful and receptive, think about what you want to create.  Imagine it in detail.  If you have difficulty producing an actual mental picture (some people are more visual than others), think of it in detailed words that describe exactly what you wish to attract, and you may even write down the words,  or use a vision board and gaze intently at photos or drawings or any other sort of representations of your desire.  Always think of your desire in the present tense.  Try to imagine yourself doing or being or having whatever it is you want.  Place yourself in the scene or in the situation.  Since I want to manifest a home in Mount Dora, I see myself walking the streets or sitting at Gilbert Park or living in a home there.  My images are detailed and I can feel and smell and even taste what living in Mount Dora would be like.  Maybe you want to manifest running a 10K race.  See yourself running the race, imagine the other racers around you and the sights that go by as you run, hear the sounds of athletic shoes hitting the pavement, smell the sweat, feel the sun on your shoulders and perspiration trickling down your neck .  Make it as real as possible.  Be part of the image.  Feel it.  Taste it.  Smell it.  Hear it.

If thoughts of disbelief or fear creep in, acknowledge them and go back to your visualization.  Trying to force away negative thoughts tends to strengthen them.  Just allow them to come and go and perhaps say “thank you” for the warning because our negative thoughts really are warnings - sometimes unnecessary, often unwanted and occasionally obsessive, but warnings nonetheless.  So, thank your mind for the warning and let the negative thought float away.  Using an affirmation to reverse the disallowing thought often helps.  In my case, if I am thinking about Mount Dora and a thought comes into my mind that I cannot afford to move there at this point in my life, I say to myself, “The Universe is providing exactly what I need when I need it to create my new home in Mount Dora.”  If affirmations do not come easily to you or if you have never even tried using affirmations, “Creative Visualizations” has several that you can use for most situations.  Also, Louise Hay, author of many inspirational books, has created hundreds of affirmations for almost any imaginable situation or illness.  Even if you have no negative thoughts, affirmations are still an important part of visualizations and Gawain recommends using them regularly in your daily practice.  Affirmations should be short in length, stated in the present tense and composed of positive words.  Say “I am getting healthier with every moment that passes”, rather than “I don’t want to be sick anymore.”  The first statement is positive and in the present, the second is negative and in the future. 

Although early morning and pre-sleep are two of the best times to visualize, any time that you can relax deeply will work.  And, even when you are not able to take a break and relax, Gawain recommends taking a few moments during your day to access what you visualized that morning or the night before.  With practice, just bringing an image of your desire into your mind, even for a few seconds, will be an automatic trigger for your body and your mind to relax.  

One of my favorite recommendations in “Creative Visualization” is to end each practice with the words “This, or something better, now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.”  So, what does that mean?  First, always leave your intent open for something better.  Our imaginations are often limited by past experiences and fears.  You may only be able to see yourself finishing that 10K race, but the Universe/God/Source sees you winning the race.  Always leave a door open for something more than you can imagine.  Also, because we may sometimes desire something that is not completely the best for us, asking that it be “totally satisfying and harmonious” allows some wiggle room for our own inability to see all sides of what we want.  And, finally, because what we wish for will inevitably affect others, we request that it should manifest in a way that is “for the highest good of all concerned”. 

Remember that you cannot manifest negative desires and you cannot manifest for someone else.  Manifesting is a spiritual practice, so your desires should be positive in nature and be seen as manifesting in positive ways.  You may be visualizing winning that 10K race but if you fear your chances are slim because of a better runner in the race, you cannot visualize your competitor leaving the race with a sprained ankle, allowing you to be the victor.  Simply imagine yourself running and winning the race and let the Universe figure out how to make that happen.  And, if you close out your visualizations with the statement above, you leave the door open for winning the race in record-setting time - something you may not have thought possible!  And, although we share our lives with others, we cannot manifest on someone else’s  behalf nor can we use them to manifest for ourselves.  For example, you may want to have more money, but you cannot successfully manifest a new job for your spouse unless your spouse also wants to manifest that job. 

Although the man in my life wants to live in Mount Dora and was completely supportive of my manifesting project, he was not actively participating.  I knew that his lack of participation was affecting me because I always imagine us both there and I cannot manifest for him.  Fortunately, he is now a willing and active participant in Manifesting Mount Dora and that, along with a little rest, will energize me to rev up my manifesting for the upcoming week. 

4/15/12 Getting Help

Mark Twain is attributed with this famous saying:  “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”

Basically, if you want your life to change, if you want something different or something more than you have, you need to change what you do.  Easier said than done.  We are creatures of habit and products of our environment.  We tend to follow in the foot steps of those who preceded us - usually, our parents.  My father possessed an explosive temper and in my late teens, my nickname was “Time Bomb”.  Let me get angry and someone could say “tick, tick, tick” and I would explode right on time.  My supervisor at my job when I was 19 was lobbying for me to be promoted, but he warned me that my temper was well-known and could sabotage my chances.  I considered my temper and its origins and realized I was becoming my father, at least in that aspect.  I made a conscious decision that day to hold my temper in check.  Now, anyone who knows me cannot imagine that I once displayed a nearly out-of-control temper.  Did I get the promotion?  No, but that was due to an economic decline that led to the elimination of the job.  I missed the promotion, but changed my personality. 

Sometimes we can make conscious decisions to change and we follow through successfully, sometimes we try and try and still do not succeed, sometimes we don’t even know how to initiate a change and sometimes we don’t even realize we need to change. 

First, each of us needs to be aware of who we are and how we appear to others.  We need to take inventory of our problems and decide if those issues can be corrected by changing what we do and how we behave.  If you lack friends or long-term friendships, maybe your behavior turns off people, perhaps you come across as cold and unfriendly or maybe you have a reputation for being unreliable or a gossip.  If you always struggle financially, perhaps your spending habits need to be fine-tuned or you may have a mentality of lack, always thinking of what you don’t have or what you think you can’t have.  If we are honest with ourselves, each of us can find some area of our lives that can stand improvement. 

Second, once you identify an aspect of your behavior or an area of your life that needs improvement, determine if you know how to make constructed changes that will move you in a new and better direction.  Do you already possess the knowledge and the skills to curb your temper, increase your reliability, stop a bad habit like gossiping, learn to be a better listener, handle your finances with care or change your outlook?  Whatever your identified issue or issues, figure out if you can create a plan for improvement and put it in motion to make the changes you desire.  If you can, great, get started!  If you can’t, start searching for the information and help you need.

There are scores of life coaches, therapists, books, DVD’s, CD’s, audio downloads and websites that can educate you on how to make positive changes in your life.  There are hundreds of different lessons and practices you can try - affirmations, visualizations, journaling, EFT, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, meditation, life coaching, support groups, yoga, etc.  Each modality, each approach has something to offer and some work better for some people than for others.  Try them out.  Find one or two or three that work well with your mind set, your personality and your lifestyle.  Whatever you choose must become part of your life, a regular practice.  If you try one approach and see only minor or no results, try another.  Just as all medicines do not work well for all people, neither do these types of “therapies”.  Keep looking until you find one or more that gives you the results you want, but be sure you allow enough time to evaluate a new practice.  Give it a chance to work for you before you give up on it and try something new.  In our lightening fast world, we want instant gratification and results, but changing how we think or behave is not always a fast or easy process.  Even if you are only noticing small improvements, they can mount up to a life-changing shift. 

 About six years ago, I attended my first chord cutting ceremony - a practice based on Native American and Eastern ceremonies to facilitate the breaking of our ties with unhealthy, unneeded or limiting parts of our lives and relationships - present or past.  I went because a friend attended the month before and noticed immediate and profound changes in her life.  After my first ceremony, I could not identify even the slightest change in my life, but I went back month after month and am still going several times a year.  Slowly I noticed changes.  Unlike my friend, these transformations were gradual and more subtle.  But, since I did see changes no matter how small and since the ceremonies usually left me with a feeling of peace that last for several hours and sometimes a few days, I continued participating.  Looking back, I realized that rapid changes would have been bad for me.  My life had already gone through several major upheavals and although the end results were positive, I needed some downtime to assimilate what I’d already experienced.  I desired more changes, but too much, too fast would have been overwhelming and counter-productive.  My changes came slow and steady, just as I needed.  After each ceremony, participants can discuss what they experienced and I often heard of visions, intense feelings, out-of-body type sensations, unusual sounds and the like.  It was a long time before I began experiencing anything stronger than a sense of floating.  But, again, I believe the sensations came to me as I was able to accept and appreciate them. 

Friday night, I was at a chord cutting and had the most profound emotional experience yet.  An amazing feeling of happiness and gratitude swept over me, is still hanging around and I am sure it has something to do with my Manifesting Mount Dora project.  Last week, my man and I were in Mount Dora during a weather pattern of gusty winds - some 30 to 40 miles per hour.  We sat at the end of Grantham Point Park (also known as Lighthouse Park) watching birds soar and dip in the high winds, just enjoying their ability to ride the winds as a child would a roller coaster.  During the chord cutting, with eyes closed, I felt like one of those birds - I was  undulating on the winds, feeling joyful and childlike.  Below me, I saw water (Lake Dora?) and thick canopies of trees.  Suddenly, in mid-air, a young racoon appeared before me.  He was identical to the young racoon we’d come across last week on the shores of Mount Dora.  He just floated before my face, looking impish and gleeful.  Wherever I flew, he stayed bobbing in front of me, sometimes chattering and always consumed with childlike happiness.  Those at the ceremony said I was swaying and smiling as they’d never seen me before.  Later, during our final mediation when I was reclining on my back on the floor, the racoon appeared again; this time sitting on my chest with his smiling face just above mine.  I left the ceremony feeling airy, hopeful, and intensely happy.  All weekend, even during some stressful or annoying moments, I was able to access that same feeling of joy. 

Had I immediately given up after my first chord cutting with its less than notable results, I would never have had the experiences and sensations that have gradually come to me.  I am so grateful for my introduction to chord cutting ceremonies and I unerringly know that I am a better and a freer person for all the ceremonies I’ve attended.  I made a choice to do something different so I would get something different than I’d always got, to paraphrase Mr. Twain. 

Color outside the lines - step beyond the boundaries, real or imagined, that fence in your life - fly a little - run instead of walk - skip when no one is looking and then when everyone is looking - swirl the water around you and disperse the stagnation - feel the breeze on your face - just do something different and see what becomes of it.  You may be surprised.  

 

3/31/12 We Hear The Call

Tonight I added to my Mount Dora Vision Board Closet Door.  On our last visit there in February, I picked up a local business advertisement booklet, which promptly was misplaced when I unpacked my suitcase.  After coming across it this weekend, I cut out the ads for our some of our favorite places and taped them to my closet door.  My closet door vision board is a work in progress!! 

We are going to Mount Dora this week - arriving on Thursday and leaving on Sunday - and I want to take very specific photos of shops and places we love that are not yet represented on our closet.  Places like Emz on Fifth, my favorite ladies’ boutique; Cody’s on 4th, a relatively new restaurant that we discovered in February; Pizza Amore, the first place we ate in Mount Dora when we arrived on a rainy afternoon in 2009; the Bowersock Art Gallery; and some of the historic homes and buildings. 

One of the reasons for our trip is to see the play, The Marvelous Wonderettes, at the Sonnentag Theatre at the Ice House.  Tickets for the Thursday night show are waiting for us at the box office.  We are so looking forward to our first visit at the theatre and seeing the play.

My taste buds awaken when I think of eating at some of our favorite places in Mount Dora:  Copacabana Cuban Restaurant, Pisces Rising (drinks at the tiki bar looking out on Lake Dora), Cody’s on 4th, Pizza Amore - so many choices!!  I will browse in Emz at Fifth, chat with Clare and surely find some unique piece of clothing to purchase, as I always do.  We will walk to Gilbert Park and all around the city streets, stopping at our favorite places and strolling through the residential neighborhoods.  I will curl up in one of the overstuffed chairs at One Flight Up and write in my journal while sipping on a frozen lemonade or a warm chai latte.   We will take our rest at Tremain Street Cottages, our home away from home.  Yes, Mount Dora is calling us again. 

3/22/12 - Is The World My Cookie Jar?

To begin my Manifest Mount Dora project, I have to define what I believe manifesting through the Law of Attraction is or does.  Can I manifest anything I want?  Is the world a giant cookie jar just waiting for me to pry open its lid and indulge in all the goodies within?  Or, are there some rules or limitations to this manifesting thing?  Does my success with attracting what I want rest solely on my ability to manifest and the strength and duration of my focus?  For example, if I want a new car am I sure to attract it as long as my desire for the car is strong enough, my visualization of the car detailed enough and the duration of my focus long enough?  Or is there something greater, more spiritual at play here? 

One of my most profound discoveries as I have studied the Law of Attraction and related subjects relates to the idea of God or gods or a higher power or whatever sort of supreme being in which one believes.  Long ago I’d drifted from the conventional idea of God - you know, that “guy” in the sky who makes and enforces the rules, showers us with blessings or allows us to learn through trials and tribulations, either small or large.  Even the word “god” was uncomfortable to me.  I shied away from all the related elements of my Christian education - Jesus, the saints, the disciples, the Bible, church in general, prayer. 

During that first conversation with my neighbor Kathy about Edwene Gaines, a minister with the Unity Church, I found myself shutting down to Gaines’s message simply because she was a minister in a church and many of her teachings are based on the words and deeds of Jesus.  My mind struggled to stay engaged and interested in our conversation because my past experiences were limiting my ability to consider anything even vaguely related to religion, and particularly to Christianity. 

As my studies continued, I often found myself in the middle of conversations or reading books or attending classes in which religious references were made.  The first prosperity class I attended was at a Unity Church so you can imagine how often I squirmed with discomfort.  Then, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”: The message not the messenger is what’s  important! The message can come from anyone, anywhere at anytime.  The message may arrive in the words of a minister, in the musings of a criminal or in the lyrics of a pop song.  The messenger may be Christian or Muslim or Jewish or atheist or Wiccan or agnostic.  The messenger may be holy or spiritual or a thug.  The message may come from a child who does not even understand the impact of his or her words or from a wise sage who has spent a lifetime studying the spiritual. 

And, what about God?  Is there one?  Does it matter?  I have come to believe in what is often called Universal Energy.  Think of it as a pool of intense energy and we are all part of it.  We started there and we will return there one day and may even come back here again to live another life, to learn more, to teach more.  We draw our strength and our peace from that pool.  Together we are what some may call “god”.  That is what I believe.  But, you don’t have to believe the same thing because you are here to have your own experience, not mine.  My experience over 57 years has led me to embrace the belief of Universal Energy, but your experience may have led you to a different belief.   We each have our own path and that is okay.  We need to respect one another and our individual paths.  We don’t have to believe exactly the same to learn from one another. 

As part of the “I am here for a reason” philosophy that resonates with me, I believe we have a “higher calling” or a mission.  Some of us wander all over the place and never discover why we came here, some discover why late in life and others seem to emerge from diapers with the knowledge and insight that others strive for years to obtain.  Have you ever met a child that seems wiser than his years would allow?  Do you know someone who is an “old soul”?  My belief is that these people have come back in human form many times and  are further along their paths than some of the rest of us.  These people are the teachers, the guides and the sages.  They have a spiritual connection that is stronger than most.  They just seem to know  the answers to life’s toughest questions.  We consider them prophets, teachers, rabbis, pastors, philosophers, medicine men or women, yogis.  They teach us in churches, mosques, synagogues, temples, ashrams and schools.  They preach, they write, they teach, they lead. And, sometimes, they are the old man down the street that always has good advice or the grandmother that taught us how to survive the hard times in life or the singer who writes songs that touch our souls. 

So, if we are here for a reason, if we have a higher calling, how does that play into the whole Law of Attraction theory?  Would someone with a higher calling use the Law of Attraction for stuff - fancy cars, a big house, expensive clothes?  Well, maybe.  Maybe that is his/her calling  - to show us what we can manifest.  There are certainly plenty of people out there making lots of money telling people how to attract stuff.  That use of manifestation can seem cheap and tawdry, but who are we to judge?  Again, we don’t know the path of others.  If someone can use the Law of Attraction to get whatever they want, no matter how shallow it may appear to  others, does it cheapen the method in any way?  I don’t think so because, again, we don’t know the path that someone else is on.  Maybe that person who manifested all kinds of material items seems shallow to us, but what if that person’s reason for being here is to experience having lots of stuff?  Perhaps that person lived in devastatingly poor circumstances in another life and know has the opportunity to learn what wealth is.  Or perhaps that person has a lesson to learn in overindulgence or greediness.  Again, who knows?  Who should be the judge of another’s path? 

I do believe that manifestation only occurs when we are on our path - even if that path is not obvious to others.  There is a higher good, even if we don’t see the “good” part.  I also believe that the Law of Attraction only works when you are connected to your higher path and when  what you are desiring is the best experience for your evolvement.  When I wanted to move to town, I was considering buying a house and that did not happen.  I was devastated when deal after deal fell through for me.  When I finally stopped trying to control all the details of how I was to move to town, I was given a rental home that I’ve loved for move than seven years.  In retrospect, I know that buying a house, any house, was not the best thing for me.  I was on my path towards higher good, but I was overly involved in the details and making choices that were not good for me.  The Universe stepped in and said no, buying a house is not the what you need. 

Manifesting is not just black or white.  Sometimes what we manifest might seem like a nightmare, but, perhaps, that nightmarish experience is exactly what we needed to move forward on our path.   And, sometimes, the nightmare we are experiencing is because we are not on our path at all.  Complicated?  Yes. 

Manifesting and our higher good may seem like fate, but it cannot be called fate in the true sense of the word.  According to dictionary.com fate is:

fate
1.
something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot: It is always his fate to be left behind.
2.
the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time: Fate decreed that they would never meet again.
3.
that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny: Death is our ineluctable fate.
4.
a prophetic declaration of what must be: The oracle pronounced their fate.
5.
death, destruction, or ruin.

The Law of Attraction says that we attract both negative and positive into our lives according to what vibrations and energies we are emitting.  Often our negative vibes may be attracting what we don’t want - more negativity, fear, loss, lack.  We can blame the negativity, which certainly is the cause of unwelcome experiences, but we can also see that our negativity has attracted unwelcome experiences into our lives so we can learn lessons that will move us toward our higher good.  We do have choices.  We are born with a purpose and that can be seen as a type of fate, but how we move forward cultivating and achieving that purpose is not fate.  It is personalized action.  We may not be aware that we are attracting what enters our lives, but we are - unconsciously or consciously.  Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.”  Fighting against something focuses our attention on the very thing we are fighting against and therefore we attract more of that thing.  Likewise with our thoughts.  Rather than thinking about what would make our lives better, we think about what is making our lives miserable so we attract more of the same.  Mother Teresa was an expert on the Law of Attraction and she said, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.”  She understood that anti-anything attracts more of the same. 

Another element to the Law of Attraction is gratitude.  Yes, we all feel gratitude when what we desires becomes reality, but the tricky part is that we must have gratitude now - before we get what we want.   We must have gratitude for our lives right now.  Gratitude is the most positive feeling we have.  Gratitude for what exists now will help you manifest what you want in the future. 

And, to me the trickiest “rule” of the Law of Attraction is the that we must always ask in the name of  the greater good.  If you believe we are all part of the same energy pool or the same cosmos or we are all children of God, then you must realize that what is good for  you must also be for the greater good of all.  That seems like a heavy burden, but it isn’t really.  What makes me truly happy allows me to share my happiness with others, thereby, making them happy.  If I am moving forward on my path, it just naturally follows that I am better able to help others move forward on their path to a higher calling.  Manifesting a car may seem like a very unspiritual pursuit but not necessarily.  If I have a good, reliable car, my life is easier and I have more time and money to spend on other pursuits that will move me to my higher good or allow me to help others on their path to higher good.  Manifesting a car may be your first step out of poverty or it may provide transportation for you to take your child to school - the same child that will discover a cure for cancer.  That may sound over-the-top, but it illustrates how all of our desires and manifestations are interrelated.  We do not dream in a vacuum. 

The last bit of advice I want to give now on the manifesting is that the only time we truly have is this moment - the one you are living right now.  The past is gone and the future has not and may not happen.  The world and the Universe exist in the NOW.  Therefore, your words and thoughts of manifestation must exist in the now for the Universe to understand.  Choose your words carefully.  See yourself and speak of yourself in the situation you desire as if it is happening right now - not tomorrow or next year - right now.  I AM a college graduate with a medical degree.  I AM living a lovely historical home in Mount Dora.  I AM married to the perfect person for me.  I AM driving a reliable car in good condition that will safely take me wherever I want to go.    

Yes, complicated, but, then again, very simple.  Be conscious of what you believe is your higher calling, if you can identify it at this stage of your life.  Identify what you really want.  Be aware of your thoughts and your feelings.  As soon as you are aware of a negative thought or feeling, transform it into something positive.  Use positive words especially when expressing your desires.  Avoid negative thoughts and images.  Always do good.  Use your imagination to clearly see what you desire.

Many books have been written about the Law of Attraction and, obviously, I cannot cover all the theories about it.  Nor, do I want to.  I am just hitting the points that seem most important to me, the ones that have made a difference in my life.  The ones I plan to use as I move forward on this manifesting journey.  I suggest you read as much as you can and determine what resonants best with you and then apply what you’ve learned.  You can always make adjustments to your approach later.  Remember, it is a journey.   

Next, I will talk about how I am following my own advice - stay tuned!