6/6/12 Synchronicity & Inspiration

My last post was called “Illuminations”.  That word was in my mind when I awoke from an afternoon nap on Sunday and I heard it in my mind over and over the rest of the day.  Not knowing why that word visited me, I thought about what illuminations meant to me and quickly associated it with those moments of great clarity and synchronization that come into being when I’m on an inspired path.  After writing my blog about illumination, I reached for a book to read before going to sleep.  By my bed sit three or four books that I am actively reading at any given time and another six or more books that I plan to read.  One of the newest books in my stack was “The Twelfth Insight” by James Redfield.  You may remember that the first step on this path of learning about the Law of Attraction was when my man gave me the book “The Celestine Prophecy” by the same author and the first in what would become a series with “The Twelfth Insight” the most recent addition.  Not long ago, I saw the book in a store and it called to me, so I had no choice but to bring it home (Other avid readers and book purchasers will understand exactly what I mean!).  I was knee-deep in three other books and had many more waiting in line, so I had no intention of reading my newest purchase for quite awhile.  But, Sunday night “The Twelfth Insight” called to me just as it had in the bookstore, so I had not choice but to pick it up and start reading.  I quickly realized that the book was about what I called illumination in my blog and what Redfield names synchronicity, based on the writings of Dr. Carl Jung.  Reading that book was the next step on my path and was the perfect follow-up to my blog. 

My point is that if you are open to synchronicity, it will happen.  One unexpected step follows another.  A word leads to a blog leads to a book leads to. . .what?  I am not sure yet, but I have no doubt that its all leading somewhere, to something that is part of my manifestation process.  Reading “The Twelfth Insight” has reminded me that I am a little off track when it comes to my Manifesting Mount Dora project.  Understandably so, I think, with all that’s happened in my life recently, but still its time to reconnect with my manifestation project. 

It has been two months since we’ve been to Mount Dora.  Time to reconnect with my home-to-be!  Even my man mentioned, without knowing I was thinking the same thing, that he was missing Mount Dora.  So, we now have plans to spend three days there this month.  I have been neglecting my Optimist Creed and my affirmations - time to reintroduce those to my daily routine.  I wrote in another post about the guided meditation that I discovered and which helped me with my sleeping problems, but, for some unknown reason, I failed to do the meditation for a whole week.  And, yes, my insomnia quickly returned.  I am proud to say that I have meditated the last three nights and have slept soundly and greeted the morning feeling rejuvenated and energetic. 

When I first started these posts back in March I wrote about how manifesting requires high energy levels so eating better and exercising are important.  I did fairly well with that commitment, but once my stress levels reach mountaintop heights, my healthier diet took a hiatus. And, when the Floridian summer heat and humidity took up residence, my willingness to walk regularly waned - my three-to-four-times-a-week walks became one or two, maybe, and even those were shorter and less strenuous.  During the school year, I was getting up 45 minutes earlier than usual to see my grandson off to school, usually preparing his breakfast as well.  His school ended last Friday and since I am accustomed to getting up earlier and since I am meditating again and waking up with energy, I started walking in the morning before the heat and humidity settle in turning each day into a Turkish steam bath.  I’ve also been eating more fruits and vegetables and opting for local and organic produce when possible.

When faced with stress and grief, it is easy, and understandable, that we get sidetracked from our goals and our commitments.  There is only so much we can deal with at one time.  But, as soon as possible, it is important to return to our healthy and spiritual practices.  One of my main sources of stress was my mom’s missing Last Will and Testament.  Without it, handling and settling her estate and financial affairs was going to be difficult, time-consuming and emotionally draining.  Friends in her state had been searching for it since her death in late April. By late May, we were all beginning to wonder if, in spite of what she’d told us, the will actually existed (none of us had ever seen it).  On the Sunday before Memorial Day, I decided to ask my angels and the Universe for help and I put out a request that my mom’s will be located before the end of May, which was just four days away.  Three days later I received a call - her will was found. 

Another interesting story of synchronicity happened last month.  In mid-May I met a young woman, who had recently moved to Gainesville.  She told me she was a writer and she specifically mentioned poetry.  Wild Iris Bookstore hosts the Feminist Poetry Open Mic once a month and I told my new acquaintance about the group.  She promised to be at the next show and asked if I read my poems there.  I told her that although I attend the Open Mic and love the poetry readings, I had not written poetry in 30 years or more and that most of my poetry writing was done when I was in high school and college.  She chastised me for not writing.  “I write, though,” I objected, “Just not poetry.  I write a blog and stories and I journal.”  Those words did not satisfy her and she gave me an assignment to write a poem about the last 30+ years and read it at the next Open Mic.  I laughed to myself, thinking that I had enough pressure in my life without feeling obligated to write a poem at the command of someone I’d just met.  I did think about it though, several times, but no inspiration came to me and I pushed aside the nagging thoughts.  Over the Memorial Day weekend, when I was house and animal sitting for friends in the country and had plenty of time to relax, I again thought of her assignment, but was not inspired to write.  I asked the Universe to inspire me if writing a poem was what I should do.  Two days later, three hours before the Open Mic, the inspiration arrived and I wrote:

      
                  "I Used To Write Poetry"
   
        I used to write poetry, I said,
        Long, long ago.
        A different lifetime.
        A younger time, a time of war.
        You know,
        War creates emotion;
        Emotion creates poems,
        Back then, but not now.
        Oh, sure, we do have a war
        Now.
        But war poetry is for the young,
        And I am no longer young.
        So, she said, write of the last 35 years.

        Hmm, I thought.
        You mean,
        The time after that war,
        Before this war,
        And the one before,
        And the one before that?
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        We ended THAT war,
        The war that tore us apart.
        We swore there'd never be another,
        But there were
        Others,
        Too many others.
        We started some, ended some,
        And have one
        That lasts
        Forever.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        Cocaine was fashionable
        And then not.
        Crack was in
        And then out.
        Even heroin made a comeback,
        Just like Steven Tyler.
        Now there's meth,
        And, Red Bull.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        Disco was in,
        Then out.
        Now Barry Gibb
        and Donna Summer
        Are dead.
        Just like disco.
        Country was in,
        Then not.
        They say
        The Rhinestone Cowboy
        Lives in Tokyo now
        And sometimes visits and
        Dances on the streets of Manhattan.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        Oh, yeah,
        We were attacked!
        How dare they!
        We were frightened.
        Not us!
        We were vengeful.
        So American!
        We fought back
        Well, we fought someone,
        Maybe not the right someone,
        But someone.
        We have to fight someone,
        To regain our dignity.
        Now we have a war that never ends,
        And it may not be the right war,
        But is is OUR war, dammit!
        The war to regain our dignity.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        We got rich and then very poor,
        And we got sad,
        Then very mad.
        We came together,
        To be torn apart by
        Politicians and
        Policemen,
        Like Ohio State,
        Berkeley,
        The Summer of Love.
        But, now its Zuccoti Park
        Times Square
        And San Diego.
        And, and. . .

        Funny, not that much has changed,
        After all,
        In 35 years.
        And, I guess,
        After all,
        You don't have to be young
        To write of war.
        But, you do have to be young
        To fight a war.
        That has not changed.
        35 years, 35 YEARS!
        And, sadly,
        Nothing much has changed.


Oddly, my new friend did not come to the Open Mic, so she missed hearing my poem.  We had become Facebook friends so I sent the poem to her in a Facebook message, but she has not responded.  In fact, she has not posted anything on Facebook since the week we met.  Maybe I will encounter her again or maybe not.  Perhaps, she appeared just to be my inspiration angel - another piece of synchronicity in this unwinding tale of manifestation. 

5/23/12 Righteous Fantasies

I was raised by a father who rarely took a vacation and often worked six or seven days a week.  I followed the same path.  I worked long hours, sometimes ten to twelve hours a day often for seven days a week, month after month.  I rarely took time off and when I did indulge in a vacation, it was usually to visit family and, as many know, those types of holidays from work are not always restful and often not fun.   My husband, now deceased, had a similar childhood experience.  When his family rarely took a “vacation”, it was a two, possibly three, day trip to one of the beaches east of their home in Gainesville.  Not exactly great travelers, were they?  At least the few vacations my father initiated took us out of our state! 

During our nearly thirty year marriage, most of the vacations my husband and I took were what I call “obligatory vacations” - visiting long-distance relatives, attending weddings or funerals, or pre-move trips to find a place to live, etc.  Those obligatory trips often had some moments of fun and joy, but, especially for me, were still working vacations.  First, we traveled long distances, usually driving  6 to 16 straight hours - not restful or fun.  And, spending a week at a relative’s home did not excuse me from domestic duties.  I still helped with food preparation and cleanup.  I still did laundry.  I often helped with childcare and housework, depending on who we were visiting.  A few days off from my paying job was nice, but sometimes I did more domestic work on vacation than I did at home. 

Because cash was always in short supply, these obligatory vacations were less expensive and all we could afford.  Because of our lack of funds and because of the long hours necessary at the majority of my jobs, the most we could manage was possibly one vacation a year that lasted for more than a long weekend.  Many years we did not even take that one week.

In my childhood, I dreamed of traveling.  In fact, I wanted to be a travel writer, venturing around the world and writing articles, stories and books about my experiences.  But, as often happens, I grew up and discovered, or decided, that life had different plans for me.  Rather than being a world traveler, I reluctantly and resentfully became a home-body.  My world travels were reduced to a very few obligatory vacations to visit family and friends with the longest trip being from Florida to Maine to visit my mom.  Two exceptions were trips to Niagara Falls, Canada - one to accompany my niece to a wedding she was attending and another to attend a wedding of my own friends.  Both trips were fabulous, but definitely the exception to the norm of my life. 

For the first few years of my “new life” after leaving my husband, money, and credit for that matter, was even tighter and the most I could manage was a couple of days in St. Augustine each year.  Then, I sold my former home in the country.  By the time of the sale, the real estate market had crashed and the purchase price had been reduced several times just to release me from the mortgage, insurance and tax expenses.  After paying off the mortgage and a few home-related debts, the cash in my pocket was much less than I’d ever thought possible.  Most of that cash went to pay off other financial obligations, leaving me with even less.  But, still, that less was more than I’d had in my bank account for many years.  After experiencing such rough financial times, my plan was to save the money, using it very conservatively, when needed.  It wasn’t much, but it was all I had, so a hoarding mentality took over my mind.  Even though I’d been practicing the Law of Attraction and even though I know that money only has energy when it is being used, I chose to live small and hold tightly to what little I had.  Until. . .

One day, while my man and I were passing time in the public library while some repairs were being done on my car, I picked up a book called “Do Less, Achieve More - Discover the Hidden Power of Giving In” by Chin-Ning Chu.  That book and “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain are the two books at the top of my prosperity recommended reading list.  The book is short and easy to read, so please make the effort. 

While reading that book, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”.  The author tells the story of a 53-year-old woman (I was 54 at the time) who was raised in France and immigrated to the U.S. in her twenties.  She longed to return for an extended visit to her homeland, but the expense of such a trip and her loss of time from work led her to settle for no more than week-long trips, which were never long enough.  Even after being offered a rent-free home for two months in France, she hesitated because of some pressing responsibilities at her job and because she feared losing her job if she took so much time off.  She struggled in vain to find a way to connect such a visit to France with her job so she could justify the lengthy stay with her employer.  Frustrated and disappointed, she nixed the idea of a two-month stay in her homeland.  When she told a friend that there was no way she could go, the friend said, “You weren’t born to work yourself to death.  You were born to fulfill your desire for experiences.  To love well, which includes fulfilling your righteous fantasies, leads you to complete your desire to experience life.  To your soul, the fulfilling of fantasies is as important as accomplishing your career goals.  It is wrong to die without satisfying those fantasies.”  The woman heeded those words and scheduled her trip. That extended stay in France changed her life forever.  She reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, their romance was rekindled and they married.  Her American employer valued her work so highly that he allowed her to continue working for the company from her new, permanent home in France. 

That story was my light-bulb moment.  The words “righteous fantasies” energized and haunted me and, while sitting in the library, I made the decision to use some of the cash from the sale of my home to take a long-dreamed-of trip to New York City.  Within a week, reservations were made and in less than a month, my man and I were off to the city he loves so much and to which he always wanted to introduce me.  Our trip was amazing.  I’d always wanted to visit NYC, but I never dreamed I would love it so much.  Visiting NYC was one of my “righteous fantasies”.  I took ten days off work - the longest I’d ever been away from any job and the longest time off I’d taken since starting my business 11 years before.  Since then, we return to NYC every year and each trip is as amazing the ones before. 


I would have thought that leaving my work for ten days would be impossible, but once I voiced the intention of the New York City trip, all fell into place with amazing simplicity.  The travel plans came together easily.  My work magically slowed to a level that was reasonable to abandon for ten days.  Loose ends tied up into lovely bows of anticipation.  A trip that had once seemed impossible became righteously doable.  And, I have found that to be the case when engaging in other plans.  If the plans are truly righteous, if they are truly what I need and what I desire, if they will elevate, educate and evolve me, if I will have time for rejuvenation and fun, all the details come together like cake batter ingredients - smooth, sweet and tasty! 

It has been years since I thought of “righteous fantasies”.  It took Manifesting Mount Dora to bring those words to mind.  The word “righteous” means morally or ethically justified.  It seems odd to think of our fantasies as being morally or ethically justified.  Righteous just does not seem to be the correct adjective to pair with the word “fantasies”.  But, why don’t we think of our fantasies as righteous?  We are here to live large, to experience boldly.  But, most of us live small and in fear.  I pledge to start visualizing and manifesting other righteous fantasies.  Mount Dora is already in the works.  What next?? 

5/12/12 Peaceful Visualization

I’ve been spending the last week searching for peace - peace in my home, peace in my relationships and peace with the passing of my mother.  After two weeks of turmoil, life has settled down considerably, but peace continues to feel elusive.  This experience has helped me to realize how terribly important peace is to manifesting and visualizing.  When dodging emotional land mines, the meditative state that is best for visualization is difficult to access.  In fact, rest and even sleep are hard to come by.

The kind of peace that is needed is not PEACE as in world peace or even a complete lack of conflict in one’s personal life (although, both of those would be wonderful).  This peace is time free from physical, emotional and mental disturbances.  Even just a few minutes a couple of times a day may be enough.  Although I was able to get some quiet time (no noise), my mind and emotions were still very loud with their unsettlement.  I believe much of the agitation was rooted in a bone-weary tiredness from nights of restless sleep and days of unbalance.  Even as my life has calmed in the last five days, the remnants of disquietude lingered.  Today is better, but there is still healing to be done.  I remind myself that it is all a process and I must take one step at a time, allowing myself time to absorb, adjust and regroup. 

No one can overestimate the importance of personal peace.  You may run all day long with work, family and other obligations, tackling big and small problems, but if you can carve out a few moments of physical quiet, even if just before you fall asleep, and if you can access mental and emotional balance, you can reach a meditative-like state that is chatterless and ripe for visualization and manifestation. 

If I could recommend only one book for those who want to learn more about manifesting, it would be “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain.  I don’t know of  another author who so clearly and precisely explains and describes the practice of using “the power of your imagination to create what you want in life” (quoted from “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain).  Her original book was written in 1978 and was a word-of-mouth success because she so easily presents what some may find to be difficult-to-understand concepts.  She recommends doing visualizations two or three times a day - the most important times being when first awaking and just before sleeping as those are the times when our minds tend to be less busy.

Gawain recommends complete relaxation to perform a visualization.  Deep relaxation allows your brain waves to slow down, thereby becoming more receptive to any introduced thoughts or images.   Breathing very deeply and slowly may help if you have difficulty calming your mind.  When you feel comfortable, peaceful and receptive, think about what you want to create.  Imagine it in detail.  If you have difficulty producing an actual mental picture (some people are more visual than others), think of it in detailed words that describe exactly what you wish to attract, and you may even write down the words,  or use a vision board and gaze intently at photos or drawings or any other sort of representations of your desire.  Always think of your desire in the present tense.  Try to imagine yourself doing or being or having whatever it is you want.  Place yourself in the scene or in the situation.  Since I want to manifest a home in Mount Dora, I see myself walking the streets or sitting at Gilbert Park or living in a home there.  My images are detailed and I can feel and smell and even taste what living in Mount Dora would be like.  Maybe you want to manifest running a 10K race.  See yourself running the race, imagine the other racers around you and the sights that go by as you run, hear the sounds of athletic shoes hitting the pavement, smell the sweat, feel the sun on your shoulders and perspiration trickling down your neck .  Make it as real as possible.  Be part of the image.  Feel it.  Taste it.  Smell it.  Hear it.

If thoughts of disbelief or fear creep in, acknowledge them and go back to your visualization.  Trying to force away negative thoughts tends to strengthen them.  Just allow them to come and go and perhaps say “thank you” for the warning because our negative thoughts really are warnings - sometimes unnecessary, often unwanted and occasionally obsessive, but warnings nonetheless.  So, thank your mind for the warning and let the negative thought float away.  Using an affirmation to reverse the disallowing thought often helps.  In my case, if I am thinking about Mount Dora and a thought comes into my mind that I cannot afford to move there at this point in my life, I say to myself, “The Universe is providing exactly what I need when I need it to create my new home in Mount Dora.”  If affirmations do not come easily to you or if you have never even tried using affirmations, “Creative Visualizations” has several that you can use for most situations.  Also, Louise Hay, author of many inspirational books, has created hundreds of affirmations for almost any imaginable situation or illness.  Even if you have no negative thoughts, affirmations are still an important part of visualizations and Gawain recommends using them regularly in your daily practice.  Affirmations should be short in length, stated in the present tense and composed of positive words.  Say “I am getting healthier with every moment that passes”, rather than “I don’t want to be sick anymore.”  The first statement is positive and in the present, the second is negative and in the future. 

Although early morning and pre-sleep are two of the best times to visualize, any time that you can relax deeply will work.  And, even when you are not able to take a break and relax, Gawain recommends taking a few moments during your day to access what you visualized that morning or the night before.  With practice, just bringing an image of your desire into your mind, even for a few seconds, will be an automatic trigger for your body and your mind to relax.  

One of my favorite recommendations in “Creative Visualization” is to end each practice with the words “This, or something better, now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.”  So, what does that mean?  First, always leave your intent open for something better.  Our imaginations are often limited by past experiences and fears.  You may only be able to see yourself finishing that 10K race, but the Universe/God/Source sees you winning the race.  Always leave a door open for something more than you can imagine.  Also, because we may sometimes desire something that is not completely the best for us, asking that it be “totally satisfying and harmonious” allows some wiggle room for our own inability to see all sides of what we want.  And, finally, because what we wish for will inevitably affect others, we request that it should manifest in a way that is “for the highest good of all concerned”. 

Remember that you cannot manifest negative desires and you cannot manifest for someone else.  Manifesting is a spiritual practice, so your desires should be positive in nature and be seen as manifesting in positive ways.  You may be visualizing winning that 10K race but if you fear your chances are slim because of a better runner in the race, you cannot visualize your competitor leaving the race with a sprained ankle, allowing you to be the victor.  Simply imagine yourself running and winning the race and let the Universe figure out how to make that happen.  And, if you close out your visualizations with the statement above, you leave the door open for winning the race in record-setting time - something you may not have thought possible!  And, although we share our lives with others, we cannot manifest on someone else’s  behalf nor can we use them to manifest for ourselves.  For example, you may want to have more money, but you cannot successfully manifest a new job for your spouse unless your spouse also wants to manifest that job. 

Although the man in my life wants to live in Mount Dora and was completely supportive of my manifesting project, he was not actively participating.  I knew that his lack of participation was affecting me because I always imagine us both there and I cannot manifest for him.  Fortunately, he is now a willing and active participant in Manifesting Mount Dora and that, along with a little rest, will energize me to rev up my manifesting for the upcoming week. 

5/2/12 Women at Fifty

The last few days have been hard.  As to be expected, I am dealing with grief from my mother’s passing.  She did not want a funeral or service of any kind, leaving me considering ways that I can have a personal service to bring about a feeling of closure.  My sleep is peppered with memories of her and I wake up feeling unrested and unsettled.  There are also legal issues regarding her estate and with the help of a dear friend in her state, I am doing what I can from here to help with those problems.  Eventually, I will have to go there, but until certain issues are settled, my ability to accomplish much is limited.  I am also dealing with some tensions and issues in my own household that are additional burdens I don’t need right now.  I feel sad, drained and very off-kilter. 

So much of manifesting centers around feeling and being positive and although I am doing the best I can, I often feel too tired or overwhelmed to channel energy into anything but the tasks and concerns at hand.  I struggle just to find a place of peace from which I can operate.  I am still manifesting Mount Dora, but I think my focus on that needs to take a backseat to other, more immediate issues.  Life often moves us in other directions, if not permanently, at least for awhile.  I still gaze at my Manifesting Mount Dora Closet Door Vision Board, especially when I am searching for that elusive place of peace or when I just need a break from all that is swirling around me.  My Intention is out there in the Universe and Mount Dora is waiting patiently for me.  Although I am emotionally overwhelmed right now, my reconnection with writing won’t let me skip my blog for more than a couple of days and this evening I felt a strong need to write about something.  And, really, just how much can I or should I write about my grief and issues?  Time to go in a different direction. 

I spoke with a co-worker today about her move this week from the house she and her husband shared for many years to an apartment where she will live alone, planning a new life as a single woman.  She mentioned how turning 50 makes you think differently.  I know - the year I turned 50 was when I also left my husband.  I don’t know about men, but for many women, 50 is the year of liberation - the year we stop thinking of everyone else and start thinking of ourselves - the year we stop being cautious and careful and considerate.  Turning 50 is more than a birthday, it is an independence day.  For most women, by the age of 50, the children are grown or at least out of high school and for once they can think of themselves as something other than mothers.  At 50, we have come to accept that we are no longer the young girls that we once were.  In our 40's we are able to fool ourselves into thinking that with exercise and diet we can still look and act like we did at 20.  By 50, we know differently and can gradually create and accept a new vision of ourselves.  We do not and will never again look 20 and we learn to not only to accept, but also to embrace, that knowledge.  Freedom comes when we no longer feel the need to live up to some unrealistic ideal.  We relax more and choose to be comfortable rather than fashionable.  Wisdom is treasured more than trends, reflection more than distraction.  At 50, we can start thinking, perhaps for the first time, about what we want to manifest for ourselves.   I am sure my co-worker will begin figuring out who she wants to be in the second half of her life.  She probably is not aware of manifesting or the Law of Attraction, but she will spend her new alone time trying to figure out who she is as a single woman and what she wants to create for herself in the years to come.  She may feel lonely right now, maybe sad, maybe disappointed, maybe even fearful, but with time she will come into her power, the power she claimed when she dared to think of a life different than the one she’d been living for 29 years.  Power does not always start out feeling powerful.  It often feels small and frightened and confused, but that is just dormant power - the seed of power that sits waiting until the environment is right, until all the tears have been shed and all the regrets wiped away and all the fears put to rest.  In the rich soil watered by a woman’s tears, power grows and blooms.  Watch closely -  a woman coming into her power is a magnificent sight.  

4/6/12 Moon Over Mount Dora

We are in our destiny town and the moon will be full and powerful tonight.  A good time for manifesting!

Usually Mount Dora sweeps away our troubles, but this time some annoyances have been hanging on.  I think we both feel the prickly edges of aggravations that have hitched a ride south with us, leaving no sense of peace.     

I am reading “The Architecture of All Abundance - Seven Foundations to Prosperity” by Lenedra J. Carroll (mother of the singer Jewel).  The fifth chapter is entitled “Be Peace”.  Nedra escapes the hectic world of managing her daughter’s career to spend three weeks at a retreat where she learns to obtain and keep an internal peace that will remain constant no matter how rough the waters are around her.  I know that peace, even world peace, must begin in the heart and soul of each individual.  And, as I was reading that chapter, it occurred to me that peace, although a grand and powerful concept, needs only to be a simple action or, perhaps more often, a non-action.  Letting someone’s unpleasant statement pass without comment.  Allowing someone to be moody without absorbing the mood or even acknowledging it.  Releasing the need for someone to be or feel a particular way. 

I often take on the burden of trying to make others feel better and usually absorb whatever ill mood I am trying to “cure”.  When did it become my job to change the moods and attitudes of all who are part of my life?  Why do I so often feel responsible for their negativity, sharp responses and sarcasm?  Am I so powerful a person that I can cause or control someone else’s state of mind?  Yes, we all influence one another, especially those close to us, to some degree, but surely the degree is less than we often imagine.  And, if it isn’t, if someone allows us to control his or her mood so completely, isn’t the fault his and not ours?  If someone gives away his or her power like that, we certainly do not need to accept it.  Shouldn’t we be busy enough with our own state of being that we don’t have the time or the energy to be controlling or worrying about someone else’s? 

I know my need to make everyone happy grew from the death of my mother when I was three months old.  I grew up believing that my birth somehow contributed to her early passing.  My father was a moody, volatile man and I assumed his anger was the result of losing his wife at a young age and since I felt some responsibility for that loss, I also felt an immense responsibility to make him happier or, at least, less angry.  The responsibility I felt carried over to others - why I don’t know.  People viewed me as a person with a big heart, open arms and the ability to listen well.  Even in elementary school, other children brought their troubles to me.  At first I was perplexed, but then I just accepted that they were drawn to me for some reason beyond my understanding.  Eventually, all that listening, along with my perceived responsibility for my father’s emotional stability, weighed heavily on me.  I was too young to develop the coping skills of counselors, therapists, doctors and nurses, so I suffered in ways an adult, much less a child, should not. 

I absorbed the unhappiness, worries and anger of others as a sponge soaks in dirty dish water.  The years have taught me a few lessons about boundaries, but old patterns are hard to break.  I’ve learned a few coping skills and am able to shake off the problems and negative vibrations from lesser acquaintances, but those closest to me are still a challenge.  And, honestly, I don’t want to be cold or uncaring, especially to those I love.   

My new Intention is to give up the job of healing and/or absorbing the moods of those around me.  I am not, nor do I want to be, nor should I be responsible for the moods, negativity or poor behavior of others.  I choose to “be peace”.  I can care, I can have empathy, I can offer advice - when asked, but I choose to accept peace for myself and to allow others to find their paths to peace. 

And, what does all of this have to do with manifesting?  A great deal.  When our psyches  
are bathed in the negativity absorbed from others, we cannot find and nurture our own well-being.  We lose touch with our center, the home of our personal peace.  Creative manifestation requires a strong center, a well-defined sense of self and an internal peace. 

Today we had a tour of the historical home for sale that I found online - the one I printed photos of and added to my Manifesting Mount Dora Vision Closet.  We loved it.  But, as I said before, my focus is not on a particular house so I was able to enjoy seeing it without feeling apprehensive about obtaining it.  It was fun to imagine living there with “there” representing any home in Mount Dora that we can manifest.  Playing games with manifesting can be very powerful way to jump start the process.  As adults, we have lost the wonder and joy of playing, of pretending.  When we are in that childlike state we are free from all that binds us to “reality” allowing us to enter a state of creating.  Touring a house, walking through a car lot, carrying a $100 bill in your pocket, watching movies set in places you want to visit can stimulate your imagination and with imagination comes creativity and with creativity comes manifestation. 

I feel peaceful right now.  I am writing, there is a full moon, I’ve had an enjoyable day in one of my favorite places and I am having a chai latte while my man enjoys a cappuccino.
The energies are powerful.   

4/1/12 Birthdays

Today is my daughter’s birthday.  Birthdays are a good time to think about new beginnings.  Some people make New Year’s resolutions - I make birthday resolutions.  But, I didn’t when I had my birthday this past November, or did I?  If I did, I forgot, which indicates my resolution was not very heartfelt.  I do remember thinking that I don’t know how to grow old.  When I speak to friends in their 50's about age, the women always reflect on being like their mothers and men, like their fathers.  My real mom died when I was three months old, so I never had her as a mirror of what to expect.  And, I can only hope from the bottom of my heart that I will not become my father as I age!  Perhaps not having an aging mother to watch helped me not to have hangups about aging, not to fear what I might be seeing in my mother growing older.  I don’t fight the years or the aging process - perhaps because I always was more comfortable with those who were much older than me.  Even as a child, I preferred the company of adults, and preferably grandparent-aged adults, than I did of other children.  I really don’t think about aging, but I do think about the passage of time. 

At 57, I sometimes think I don’t have enough time left to manifest what I want.  Oddly, 15 years ago I thought there was way too much time left in my life and I dreaded the thought of living all those years until death.  Now I see a finite number of years and I want to live purposefully, with vigor and hope.  I want the years and the minutes to count for something more than myself.  In my sixth decade, I want to learn more, experience more, teach more.  I feel an urgency I’ve never felt before and that urgency brought life to Manifesting Mount Dora.  Since I began this project on March 20th, I have been reading, writing and studying more than I have in years.  I want this project to be bigger than me.  I feel like March 20th was a birthday of sorts. 

My daughter at 26 is already wants to turn back the hands of time.  She is feeling the passage of time, the shortage of time.  At 26, I’d been married five years and would soon be moving for the fifth time.  Already life had lost its glimmer.   I can see that in her eyes too.  Sometimes she cannot see the glimmer or the shine or the shimmer or the glitter.  At her age, life is work - making money, raising children, getting by.  She still dreams, but those dreams are mired in the mundane tasks of everyday life - the tasks that fill our waking minutes and leave us exhausted at the end of the day.  Too tired to dream.

There are ways to rise above the mundane, to put that spark back in our lives and in our step.  I wish I had known at her age what I am learning now.  She already knows some of this and I applaud what she puts into practice, but she, like all of us, can do more to take determined, measured steps to self-realization. 

Much of what I am doing - writing, reading, creating vision boards, using a gratitude journal, walking and doing yoga - are all activities that take time - a lot of time.  Time that, as the working mother of two small children, she lacks.  Time that I lack when my work grows beyond a 40-hour week.  So, when time is short, what can we do to continue manifesting?

The list below is a birthday gift to my daughter:

✮Be happy.  Even when hurried or weary or stressed, find a way to be happy and if you can’t be happy, pretend.  The old adage “Fake it ‘til you make it” is good advice.  Act happy, even when you feel as far away from happy as you can possibly be, and you will start feeling happier.   Smile - a lot.  Laugh - as often as you can.  Sing - loudly.   Dance - like no one is watching.  Don’t wait until you feel happy - that may never happen or it may only last for a short period of time.  Make your happiness.  Look for the little things that make you feel better - a hot cup of tea, a flower in bloom, the smile of a child, the song of a bird, the warmth of your bed. 

✮Be present.  Pay attention.  Don’t get so caught up in all the busyness that you lose track of the minutes that are passing.  Stop several times a day (set your watch or cell phone’s alarm to remind you to do this every few hours) and be quiet, pay attention and note what is going on around you.  What do you hear?  What do you see?  What do you feel?  Can you hear your heart beating?  Breathe deeply.  Feel your lungs and abdomen with as much air as you can and let it out with a sigh.  Touch your skin - is it dry, warm, cool, wet?  Do you have a taste in your mouth?  This little exercise only takes a couple of minutes and even if you do it a few of times a day, you’ve used less time than it takes to brush your teeth and comb your hair. 

✮Be grateful.  Take a moment just before bed to be grateful for your day.  If possible, write at least three gratitudes in a journal.  If you don’t have the time or the energy or the inclination to write, at least think of three or more things for which you are thankful. 

✮Allow.  Allow others to help you.  Allow yourself to rest.  Allow your answer to be “no” sometimes.  Allow your answer to be “yes” sometimes.  Allow yourself to make decisions that are good for you and for those in your care.  Allow yourself to accept compliments and allow yourself to give compliments. 

✮Be quiet.  Not just before falling asleep, but sometime during the day give yourself a few moments of silence.  Lock yourself in the bathroom if you must, but find that quiet spot and be silent. 

✮Set boundaries.  This is a tough one for many people and it can be hard to do in our needy world, but we must protect ourselves from too much - too much of anything.  Know how much is good and how much is too much and respect the limits that keep you healthy and sane.  Put healthy boundaries in place for yourself and others.    


 ✮Speak gently.  Harsh words are happiness killers.  Choose your words for the positive effect they will have on others and on you.  Negative, sharp or impatient words not only steal your happiness, but the happiness of those to whom they are directed and even those who just happen to be in hearing range.  Remove curse words from your vocabulary.  Avoid the shoulds, woulds, coulds, musts, can’ts, and don’ts from your sentences.  Let your words smile and laugh, not bite and bruise.  The same is true of your internal words - what you say to yourself, the mind chatter.  Speak kindly, gently to yourself.  Use positive words when you are thinking, as well as speaking. 

✮Respect others.  Respect does not have to mean agreement.  It does not have to mean acceptance.  Respect is kindness.  Just allowing someone else to be or to say without meeting criticism or sarcasm or disdain from you.  You can disagree, but respectfully and politely.  If you can’t be nice, be silent or walk away. 

✮Respect yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  We are all a work in progress.  Allow yourself time to learn and grow.  Be bold, be brave, be you.  Know that you have as many rights as anyone else.  You have a purpose.  You are here for a reason. 

✮Honor time.  Time can be your enemy or your friend.  Be conscious of time and what needs to be done in the time you have.  Respect the time of others.  Strive to arrive on time.  Always hurrying means your time is not being honored.  Figure out the time you need and allow for that and a little extra.  Schedule the time you need and allow for unscheduled time.  We all need to go with the flow occasionally.  When you are rushing around you are sending out negative vibrations that affect you, those around you and even what will happen in the future.  If you honor time, life will be calmer and you will have more time.

✮Do something different at least once a week (every day would be even better).  Routine, or what we call being in a rut, is our enemy.  We become complacent and lazy and dull.  Doing the same thing every day turns our brains to mush.  Routines are necessary, but not everything needs to be or should be the same every day.  Change something, anything.  Even something small.  Try a different food.  Travel a different route to work.  Change your hairstyle - even that just means parting your hair on the right rather than the left.  Listen to a different genre of music.  Drink tea instead of coffee.  Sleep on the right side of the bed rather than the left side.  Next time you shop for clothes, choose an article of clothing in a color that is not represented in your closet.  Add a little variety to your life to ward off staleness and mental fog.  Surprising yourself is a gift that you can afford.

Even when you are 26 and life is coming at you life a runaway train and you feel overwhelmed and a little lost and a little scared, even when you cannot squeeze out a moment for reading or writing or meditation or vision boards or long, thoughtful walks in nature, you can strive to be happy, be present, be grateful, be allowing, be quiet, to set boundaries, to speak gently, to respect others and yourself, to honor time and to change up your routine.  You cann do these things - sure you can.    

I don’t mean this to sound preachy.  Heaven knows, I am still learning about being happy, being positive and using my thoughts and words to create the life I want.   I wish someone had given me these tips when I was younger before I got too tired and too depressed to think I could do anything to make life better.  I wasted precious time just wishing life would go away.  Perhaps, your experience will be more life-affirming than mine was. 

3/28/12 Let No One Steal Your Joy

Now that I have made a commitment to something positive and life-affirming, it seems that the world is against me.  That may not be true, but it sure feels that way.  Is there really more negativity and problems surrounding me or am I just hyper-sensitive to anything that is not positive in nature?  Maybe my joyful nature is rubbing people wrong and they are responding mean-spiritedly with sarcasm and anger.  Perhaps, as I strive to be happy, I am overly conscience of anything negative.  Not sure of the reason, but I know that I am sensing an increased amount of negativity and am determined to rise above the clouds and storms around me.  I am allowing people to feel what they feel, act how they want to act while I look for my center and hold on to my joy.  In fact, tonight I called a friend to tell her of a situation that slapped me in the face this evening and she shared that her household has a saying: Don’t let anyone steal your joy.  I will not steal her joy but have definitely pilfered her saying.  Although in my quest for positivity, I reworded it slightly: Allow no one to steal your joy. 

One of the inspirations for this manifestation project and my blog was the book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin.  Happiness is so ethereal, it seems unattainable.  Her book breaks down the feeling and causes of happiness in charts and lists devised from hours and hours of research.  Rather than taking the magic out of happiness for me, her didactic approach to such a lofty ideal made it more real to me, more graspable and with that I was able to think of Manifesting Mount Dora as something I can accomplish.  She also gave writing a human touch that seeded the confidence I needed to start pounding away at my keyboard in a way I have not been able to do in years.  Gretchen was already a published author when she took up the happiness cause.  In her year’s experiment to be happy, she expanded her writing to include blogging and inspired me to try the same.  I highly recommend the book to anyone, no matter how happy you may already consider yourself.  She inspires you to study your life in minute detail, identifying that which is not quite happy enough and creating ways to infuse more happiness into even the most everyday tasks. 

The Law of Attraction is all about happiness and it’s all a process.  That is important - it is a process.  It is a learning and growing experience, not just a wanting and getting experience.  It is about who I am and who I want to be, not just about who I think I can be if I obtain this or that or something else.  For you, it may not entail charts and research, but it should spur soul-searching, self-evaluation and personal growth.   

I survived this evening, smiling most of the time in spite of the rough seas around me.  I allowed no one to steal my joy and that is my goal for this experience of Manifesting Mount Dora.

(Thanks, Cheryl!)

3/24/12 Setting The Stage

I believe the Law of Attraction is much more than just setting an Intention for something.  Your frame of mind, the way you live your life and treat others, the gratitude you have for your current situation and the happiness that you create for yourself and others are more important than the Intention itself.  Remember we can attract what we want or what we don’t want depending on the vibrations we are sending out. 

To begin my Manifesting Mount Dora project, I knew the first step was to reacquaint myself with all the positive attitudes and actions that help set the stage for attracting an Intention that is beneficial and desirable. 

For me, the quote below sums up where to begin:

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
    To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
    To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~ Christian D. Larson

We think of the Law of Abundance and related prosperity teachings as recent discoveries or revelations.  When in fact, these “new age” ideas are not new at all.  Christian D. Larson (1874 - 1962) and others such as Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Emma Curtis Hopkins (1849 - 1925), James Allen (1864–1912) , Wallace Wattles (1860–1911), Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970), Joseph Murphy (1898 - 1981), and Annie Rix Militz (1856 - 1924), to name a few, were writing and teaching about abundance long before the popularity of the mega-selling book, The Secret, a few years ago.  In their day, the prosperity movement was called “new thought” or “theosophy”.  Many of their teachings are available online as free e-books. 

My first step, then, is to adopt the Optimist Creed as my personal statement, changing the words to personalize the meaning and to repeat my version of the Optimist Creed every Monday morning:

I am so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
I talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
I make all my friends feel that these is something worthwhile in them. .
I look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
I think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best.
I am just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about your own.
I forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
I wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
I give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
    I am too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
I think well of myself and proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
    I live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

(Remember to make affirmations and positive statements personal and to always use the present tense.) 

For me, another important step in this journey is to have a Gratitude Journal.  Fortunately, I’ve been using one since April 2008, but, honestly, my use of it has been intermittent.  I record my gratitudes faithfully, which for me means several times a week, for three, maybe four weeks, then I slack off and only write in it once or twice a month.  At some point, my guilt will build as I see my Gratitude Journal laying neglected on my bedside table and I resolve to start journaling again.  And I do - for awhile.  You know the drill - don’t we all have the same scenario with some aspect of our lives?  Oddly enough though, I feel better when I write in my Gratitude Journal - I have a better attitude, life flows more smoothly - I honestly feels it helps.  So, why don’t I use it regularly if I know it helps me?  The same reason I don’t exercise as often as I should or I eat junk that saps my energy.  And what reason is that?  I think the answer is paramount to my success with this project.  Why don’t I use my Gratitude Journal regularly, why don’t I exercise and eat right, why don’t I do what makes me feel better? 

For me, and the answers may be different for you, I know my lack of self-care (and I call it that because I believe all these actions are a form of self-care) is caused by the following reasons:

1.  Stress.  Usually associated with my work, which requires me to put in very long hours a few times a year.  And, sometimes, related to home life and the attitudes and actions of those around me. 

2.  Depression.  In “my past life” I did experience clinical depression and that is not what I am talking about now, although, clinical depression could definitely be a problem for anyone trying to manifest an intention.  When I am stressed and tired, I easily fall into a feeling of depression - the blues.  I don’t feel hopeless but I feel too tired to help myself.  I want to waste time rather than use it wisely.  I watch too much TV or play word games on my smart phone.  My reading declines and my writing just does not happen at all. 

3.  Fatigue/Illness.  Fatigue starts with stress, then I get depressed and I don’t take good care of myself physically, spiritually or emotionally.  Then, I get sick.  When I am working long hours, I don’t appear to be fatigued - I accomplish a lot because I have to.  People see me as the Energizer Bunny, quickly completing a task and immediately starting the next one.  My stamina is high or so it seems.  Unfortunately, all my energy is depleted by the time my work day is done and, considering that I may be working seven days a week, every day is a work day.  I arrive home with almost no energy for eating, showering and climbing in bed.  During the day, I eat poorly, don’t drink enough water and the only exercise I get is running from one office to another.  I can manage on that schedule for a month or two and then my body says “Enough already!” and illness sets in, usually in the form of major allergy issues, severe colds, bronchitis, sinus infections and back, neck and hand pain. 

I realize it is of great importance that I find ways to control or counteract the stress, depression, fatigue and illness in my life.  Wow, that is a lot to take on.  I am 57 years old and still have not identified ways to live my life doing my work and dealing with home life and others and not be mired in stress, depression, fatigue and illness several times a year. 

Fortunately, my work is relatively normal now - my busiest time of the year just past - so I have a reprieve for a few months unless something unexpected comes up.  I will put the work stress issue to the side for now. 

Home life stress is another biggie.  Our household is filled with adults from 72 to 26 and children from 5 to 3.  We all have different personalities, habits, schedules and problems.  I can do my best to contribute positively to our household by following the Optimist Creed, but I cannot change anyone else or solve everyone’s problems and that is hard for me to accept.  Most of my life I have been a people-pleaser, always trying to please and help those around me.  Sometimes even forcing unwelcome and unsolicited help on others.  Focusing on how someone else should change, rather than how I can change.  Yes, it is tough for me to be caring and helpful without taking on everyone else’s problems as my own.  And, when I shoulder another’s problems, I burden myself with baggage that is not mine to carry. I am getting better at setting boundaries because I’ve learned that each of us is on our own path, we each have a mission and we each have our own lessons to learn.  Although I can help, I cannot fix.  I can reach out, but not hold tight.  I can teach you, but I cannot learn for you.  I find it helpful to realize that by interfering in someone else’s life I am committing a robbery.  I am stealing the experience and the lesson that belongs to her/him and, thereby, hindering that person’s spiritual growth.  If you do your child’s homework, you are stealing knowledge from your child and if I make decisions for someone else, I am robbing that person of personal growth and self-fulfillment.  To help with my home life stress, I need to find a way to keep my mind sharp to my tendency to assume problems and worries that are not mine.  My Gratitude Journal can help with that goal.  I will daily express gratitude for being mindful of how I treat others and their problems.  Did you notice I said “daily”?  Yes, I will commit to using my Gratitude Journal daily.  And, I will add affirmations to my journal.  If I feel I may have overstepped my boundaries regarding others, I will write an affirmation of releasing the need to be in control and will repeat it for at least three days. 

For me, depression and stress go hand-in-hand.  If I can get a handle on stress, depression should be minimal.  I believe that writing in my Gratitude Journal daily will help keep depression at bay, but I will also add more music to my life.  Music is one of the best mood-soothers there is.  Although I love music, I don’t make a point of listening to it (and I mean listening to the music I want to hear) as often as I could or should.  These days music is available to us nearly everywhere at nearly anytime on radios, CD players and digital players in our houses and our cars, on our TV’s and computers, on IPods and MP3 players and through our phones.  Music makes me feel good, so I pledge to start listening to more of it. 

The last item on my list is fatigue/illness.  If stress and depression are less, so should be fatigue and illness.  But, I can also be proactive in preventing them.  My weekly yoga class is already a passion of mine that is extremely instrumental in easing my back and neck pain, but the class is only every seven days and by the time that day rolls around I am suffering with aches, pains, fatigue and stiffness.  Certainly a few added activities the other six days will help get me through until my next yoga class with less physical discomfort.  My plan is to add stretches and light weights to my morning routine and to walk at least one half mile three times a week.  That is a start. 

I have some concrete plans to get me going.  Next in line: vision boards and books.