As adults we often forget how important having fun is. We get busy, we get serious, we get tied down, we get important, we get needed and suddenly there’s no time for fun. Fun looks frivolous and seems a waste of precious hours that could be spent on making money, going to school, or just doing something inane that fools us into thinking we are chillin’. Our lives revolve around schedules and fun is rarely scheduled, but maybe it should be.
Perhaps some of you are the lucky ones who learned about balance during your childhood. Maybe you grew up in a well-balanced family that made time for fun as well as work. Or maybe your family life was all screwed up, but you figured out how to create balance yourself or you learned it from someone else while you were still young. I was a late bloomer when it came to balance and to appreciating fun.
Most of my childhood was spent without a mom at home and with a dad who was a far cry from Fred MacMurray. After the age of seven, when my oldest sister was no longer living at home, I was expected to grow up FAST. I had many household responsibilities and mistakes were not tolerated. My father worked six days a week at his business and he was not very tolerant of anyone slacking off, including me. He rarely took time off. The few vacations we took were to visit relatives - more like obligations than real vacations. Obviously, I did not learn balance at home. But, in spite of having more obligations than a typical child at the time (and yet certainly fewer than many others), I was still a child and playtime and creating fun were part of my life. But, I did not see much fun in my father’s life and that is the lesson I learned - fun is fine for kids, but should be very limited for adults.
Once I got married at 21, my allotted time for fun became less and less every year. My job and housework took up most of my time. My “free” time was spent reading, which I love, but which is not the kind of fun I am talking about. The fun of which I speak is DOING something that is out-of-the-ordinary, maybe exciting, the kind of activities that create lifetime memories. That is the kind of fun I rarely had. As with my father, most vacations with my husband were to visit relatives. Sure, those trips could be fun, but they were also usually stressful and brought up old, unresolved family issues that dampened any enjoyment. Any just-for-the-fun-of-it trips were quick day trips that may have provided a break from the routine and may even have been a little fun, but certainly were not those creating-forever-memory types of activities. For us, money was always a issue. When you struggle to pay the bills, you feel guilty if you “waste” money on fun or vacations or any kind of loving self-care.
At most of my jobs I worked more than 40 hours a week and often as many as 60 hours a week. Add my commute times, which, depending on where we lived, ranged from 30 minutes to 90 minutes, and my work days were very long. Besides the issue of available funds for recreation, I was just too darn tired to even think about planning something fun. And that is how I felt without children!! I look at my daughter raising two kids and I worry that she too will lose touch with having fun, but, fortunately, she is more balanced than I ever was at her age.
It was not until I started my “new life” eight years ago that I began to learn about the importance of fun as an adult. The new man in my life relished leisure time and made a point of planning fun activities. He taught me to slow down. By the time he entered my life, I was very deeply exhausted, physically and spiritually. Being retired, he took care of the house, my pets and me. I was still working, and sometimes long hours, but at least the work did not continue when I got home. I felt guilty coming home to a cooked meal, an orderly house and clean clothes, with nothing to do but relax, but I adjusted and welcomed the much need rest he was providing for me. Money was still a huge issue for the first few years we were together, but being a master of balance, he taught me how to find inexpensive ways to have fun. And, once I was rested after years of being overextended, I felt more like getting out and doing activities that were fun, different and stimulating.
Now, I schedule fun. I check the newspaper for activities in my city. We go to plays, movies, concerts, book-signings, art galleries, classes, festivals. We go for walks and out to dinner and meet friends for coffee. We entertain in our home. Although money is less restricted, we still find many things to do that are free or inexpensive. Most importantly, we get the heck out of town several times a year. A change of scenery can do so much to give me a fresh perspective and a lift in my mood. Of course, now we go to Mount Dora several times a year and that is fabulous, but we also go to New Jersey/New York City every year and have spent time in St. Augustine, Myrtle Beach and South Florida. This fall I am going on a two-day women’s beach retreat that will be an entirely different experience.
I also schedule little trips with my daughter and grandchildren. This past weekend we went to Tavares, Mount Dora and Deland. We took seaplane rides, went to a splash park and a playground, took a nature walk and watched the sunset over Lake Dora, ate out at restaurants and visited relatives. The weekend was full of activities and I did a lot of driving, but we made some wonderful memories and came home refreshed and revived.
Being over-worked, burned-out, tired, bored, and un-stimulated builds blocks - really big, unsurmountable walls - that will not allow prosperity to enter. By disallowing fun, I was also pushing away prosperity. Stress, like really thick mud, prevented me from moving forward toward my goals and my desires or, really, from even making goals and having desires.
My man has a saying “nothing ever happens at home” by which he means nothing NEW ever happens at home. If we stay home, walled-in with our busyness and fatigue, nothing new, and especially nothing new AND good, will ever happen. Stagnation is a slow death. The TV and computer games are not real life. We must get out, we must experience fun in any way we can. Maybe money is an issue, but there are free activities everywhere. Or, maybe you live in a remote area far from all those fun activities. So, find something fun to do where you are - perhaps gardening, or some other hobby, or just hanging out with friends. Take a walk or a drive or a bike ride or a swim. Play a game or a sport. GET OUT. DO SOMETHING. Make it your mission to find something fun and different to do. Search for fun. Search for other people who want to have fun. Find a way to add some variety to the hours in your life. Open windows, open doors, open you mind and your heart. Volunteer and discover a new world. You may be tired, but laying around the house will only make you more tired. Doing something that stimulates your mind and gets your body in motion will actually give you energy and allow you to move beyond your walls.
Prosperity or whatever you want to manifest will not knock down your door and drag you outside so you can experience it. You have to make the effort and you need to do so with light-heartedness, not as though you are hunting down and killing a critter to find your starving family. Finding a way to have fun just may be your first step toward your dreams. I know its working for me.
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