(I originally wrote this while on vacation earlier in the month, but I did not have Internet access at the time and forgot to post it later.)
We are on vacation right now, staying with my man's mother in New Jersey with plans to take the train to Manhattan every morning, returning each evening. Today, however, our first day here, the weather was cold and rainy so we skipped our daily trip to NYC and hung out with his mom, his sister-in-law and her son. All of these people are immigrants from South America and listening to stories of their homelands and their moves to the United States leaves me marveling at the will and adaptability of these people and millions more like them. They love their homelands and their cultures, but, at some point, they realized life was too hard and opportunities too few where they were born. When each had the chance to risk a new life in a different place, they took it. Their choices did not come without fear or trepidation or even sadness. Each regretted the need to leave their families, friends, homes and culture, but they still plunged forward into the unknown future in a strange land, arriving without knowing the language, but with the help of others who had come before and with the hope that they too could have a better life in the United States. Others around the world make the same brave choices, ending up in the U.S. or Canada or Australia or other countries with more stable economies and political systems.
Two of my man's brothers came first, both having work visas to do jobs that were short on employees in the late 60's. Later, the six remaining siblings, as well as their parents, immigrated here. They have all lived here many decades, their children were born and raised here, but still they miss their homeland and try to keep their cultures alive through their native food and music.
I am often ashamed at how Americans treat immigrants. We can be so stingy and so mean when it comes to accepting those who are different than we are. We fear that "they" will take what is "ours". We fear that our culture, which is and always has been a conglomeration of bits and pieces of other cultures, will be wiped away by "their" cultures. We, ignorantly, think our English language will even be overcome by the native tongues of others. All of us or our ancestors came here from somewhere else at some time and we forget that and become so possessive of what is "ours".
The idea that English will be replaced by the language of some other group is ridiculous. Perhaps those who immigrated here will never learn English, and that is understandable for those who live in communities of people speaking the same native language, but it really is not important if those who immigrated speak English because their children will and their grandchildren will. My grandkids have parents who speak another language and they only speak to their children in that language, but my grandchildren live with me and speak English with me and in school and even with their friends who also know their other language. They are completely bilingual, but their preferred language is English because that is the language of their culture. They are bi-lingual but I fear my great-grandchildren will not be.
I admire those who come here with little and create much. Somehow we think that immigrants come here to live off our welfare systems, when all I see are immigrants who work harder than most of "us" do. I see many immigrants who struggle to save as much money as possible so they can live the American Dream by owning their own homes and businesses. They still believe in the American Dream while many of those born here have no idea what the American Dream is.
I am not saying all of this to be political; I am saying this because it has so much to do with how we view the world and ourselves and that affects how we view prosperity. If we are consumed with preserving what we see as "ours", on a national level or a personal level, we are missing the opportunity to be prosperous, for prosperity has to do with there being enough for all. If we think of lack, if we feel stingy and self-preserving, we push prosperity away. If we think small, we live small. To me, it is sad when we fail to share, when we hoard and refuse to help others. I believe our hearts need to be bigger so we can give more and, thereby, receive more.
I don't believe we can create abundance and prosperity on an individual level if we embrace the idea of lack in our country, whether for our native-born residents or for those from other countries. I know many disagree with me, but, for me, my prosperity is affected my willingness to share my abundance with others. That does not mean I give everything I have to others, but it means I share generously and I share with love and willingness. It means I think of our country as a community that supports and helps one another. It means I am willing to pay the taxes needed to keep our infrastructure in good shape and our schools at competitive levels, to pay our educators and civil workers a decent wage, and to provide safety nets for all those who are struggling. It means I embrace those who wish to have the same opportunities I have and I help those who are less fortunate than me. That is what I define as true prosperity for me, for my community and for my country and that is what I think about when I vote. Who embraces prosperity for all, who supports helping others, who is accepting of immigrants, who refuses to think in terms of lack, who shows the most support for our schools, our educators, our civil workers and our infrastructure, who believes that we receive when we give? Those are the people I can support with a joyful heart.
Showing posts with label New York City. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York City. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Mount Dora vs. New York City
Since I am so focused on Manifesting Mount Dora now, my favorite little city was on my mind often while I was vacationing in New Jersey and New York City. My man’s niece took us exploring through the two cities in New Jersey where most of their family members lived when first immigrating to the United States. Both cities are very typical of the heavily populated urban areas in New Jersey and New York. Houses, usually three story buildings with each floor being rented out as separate living units, are built very close together - close enough that neighbors can lean out their windows and shake hands. Backyards, other than concrete driveways, are almost none existent and front yards are usually just small porch-like stoops with maybe a small green area between the house and the sidewalk. Because green space is not available for most houses, the cities have several large parks where children play, families gather, dogs romp and sports are played.
I grew up in the country. We owned about eight acres of land and our neighbors owned as much, if not more, property. We all had spacious, but not huge or fancy, single family homes, some two-story and some with just one floor. Homes where children lived usually had swing sets and other play or sports equipment in the yards. I had a horse, well really a pony, named Rusty, and we also had multiple dogs and cats over the years, as well as pet goats, a donkey and some ducks. Our nearest towns did not have much by way of parks because green space was abundant where everyone lived. Most houses were built with plenty of acreage between each and on roads with no sidewalks. I could play on my road for hours and not see another person. I roamed alone through woods and fields and even boated up and down the creek in front of my home. My childhood environment was completely different than the places where my man’s children and nieces and nephews grew up.
Mount Dora is more like my childhood home than the places I saw in New Jersey. Although there are many streets, most with sidewalks and lined with homes, those houses are usually single-family homes with spacious yards. But, Mount Dora is also blessed with many beautiful parks - some dedicated to children, some on the water with boat ramps and docks and some with large fields for playing sports. Although my childhood home was many miles from town, the places where my man lived in New Jersey were always within walking distance of many businesses and that is similar to the “old city” of Mount Dora. I love that I don’t have to drive in New Jersey or NYC - public transportation is abundant and convenient. Mount Dora, like most small cities and particularly those in the South, lacks buses and trains, but because the town is small and very pedestrian-friendly, we can spend several days there only needing to drive if we want to go to a grocery store or some other sort of large commercial business. Maybe that is why my man and I both love Mount Dora so much - it is a combination of what is familiar to both of us.
Of course, New York City, particularly Manhattan, is different than all the places we know well. People live mostly in large apartment buildings or brownstones and most people rent, rather than own. Almost no one owns personal green space so the parks in New York City are large and numerous. While everyone where I've lived in the South and almost everyone in Mount Dora owns a car, very few people in New York City do - instead, they rely on public transit like the subway and other train systems, buses and taxi cabs. Again, the lifestyles of people in various places can differ so greatly, we have a hard time imagining what it would be like to live in a place so different than what we've experienced. I am amazed by the diversity of lifestyles in the United States. No wonder Americans sometimes have a hard time understanding one another.
Perhaps one of the biggest differences between city dwellers and those in rural or small city/town areas is the openness of the people. Where I live now, where I grew up and in Mount Dora, as in most Southern towns and cities, people are very open and expressive. We are quick to introduce ourselves to strangers, usually with a big smile, a handshake or a hug. We greet new neighbors with a plate of cookies or a homemade cake and an invitation to dinner. We easily share our life stories and expect the same of others. We like to chat and gossip and can spend hours conversing. We are quick to offer a helping hand or to accept one. We often think of our neighbors as an extension of our families.
In heavily populated places like NYC, being that open and friendly is not advisable and maybe even dangerous. With so many people, there is no way to know who to trust and who to avoid, so avoidance is the default reaction. I smile easily at the people on the streets of New York and I often get strange looks, as though the recipient of my friendly smile thinks I am mentally unstable. Whereas in Mount Dora or in my own city, I can smile abundantly with no one finding my silent, toothy greeting unusual, odd or alarming.
I have intently studied the NYC subway riders who rarely even acknowledge the presence of one another. They sit stony-faced, listening to music through headphones, playing with their smart phones, reading books or newspapers, or sleeping. Unless traveling with someone else or talking on a phone, those expressionless people speak to no one and rarely make eye contact. In crowded spaces, it is important for people to protect their personal space, which is basically nonexistent on crowded trains. Since it is impossible to prevent the invasion of personal space in such conditions, human beings shut down their non-verbal and, to some extent, their verbal communications by remaining as physically expressionless as possible. Even when I try to make eye contact or prompt a smile from a stranger, I almost always fail and the few times I have succeeded and was able to engage the person in conversation, I inevitably discovered he or she was originally from the South or New England.
A fallacy that I had, and many others have, of New Yorkers is that they are unfriendly or rude. That is just not true. We have never been in a situation of needing help that someone did not offer assistance. The first time my man took me to NYC, he was shocked to discover the subways no longer had booths with human beings selling tokens to ride the trains. Booths, people and tokens had been replaced with computers and printed tickets. He had no idea how to use the ticket computers and although I could navigate the screens, I had no idea what choices to make regarding tickets, routes, etc. We stood before one of those computer boxes looking confused and worried when a businessman using the machine next to us noticed our states of panic. Without introduction or chit-chat, he brusquely offered to help, rapidly showed us how to use the computer and quickly disappeared with us yelling, “Thank you!” as he was engulfed in a sea of suits. In the South, the same man would have politely asked if we needed help, he would then have introduced himself and perhaps shared a personal comment or two and then he would have slowly instructed us on the use of the computer and then repeated all the steps to make sure we “got it”, asked if we understood completely, stood nearby to confirm that we were able to purchase our tickets with no problems and then, when he was assured all was well, he would have said good-bye, giving us ample opportunity to say thank-you (probably more than once) and he then would have strolled away after wishing us a good day. The help presented to us in NYC came in a different package, but it was help nonetheless. The businessman saw people in distress and jumped in to give assistance. He did not have spare minutes to pass the time of day. He did not need to know our names nor did he need to share his. He showed us what to do, expected us to pay attention and understand the first time and when his work was done, he left. Short, sweet and to the point. Maybe not what we would call a friendly exchange, but still an act of kindness between strangers.
I love NYC. I love the energy, the excitement, the culture, and the constantly changing environment. But, being there made me realize how strongly I appreciate the small-town feeling of Mount Dora - the friendliness of the people, the slower pace of life, the quiet atmosphere. After vacationing in NYC, I feel I need a vacation from my vacation! But, when I take a break in Mount Dora, I really feel like my battery is recharged. Both places are fabulous, but when it comes to choosing a place to live, I choose Mount Dora.
Being in New Jersey and New York City, provided me with a much needed change of scenery and helped me to appreciate what I have and what I want to manifest. It is always good to have new and different experiences - they broaden our perspectives, increase our knowledge, activate our creativity and help us to better define who we are and what we want. And I know that I still want to Manifest Mount Dora!
I grew up in the country. We owned about eight acres of land and our neighbors owned as much, if not more, property. We all had spacious, but not huge or fancy, single family homes, some two-story and some with just one floor. Homes where children lived usually had swing sets and other play or sports equipment in the yards. I had a horse, well really a pony, named Rusty, and we also had multiple dogs and cats over the years, as well as pet goats, a donkey and some ducks. Our nearest towns did not have much by way of parks because green space was abundant where everyone lived. Most houses were built with plenty of acreage between each and on roads with no sidewalks. I could play on my road for hours and not see another person. I roamed alone through woods and fields and even boated up and down the creek in front of my home. My childhood environment was completely different than the places where my man’s children and nieces and nephews grew up.
Mount Dora is more like my childhood home than the places I saw in New Jersey. Although there are many streets, most with sidewalks and lined with homes, those houses are usually single-family homes with spacious yards. But, Mount Dora is also blessed with many beautiful parks - some dedicated to children, some on the water with boat ramps and docks and some with large fields for playing sports. Although my childhood home was many miles from town, the places where my man lived in New Jersey were always within walking distance of many businesses and that is similar to the “old city” of Mount Dora. I love that I don’t have to drive in New Jersey or NYC - public transportation is abundant and convenient. Mount Dora, like most small cities and particularly those in the South, lacks buses and trains, but because the town is small and very pedestrian-friendly, we can spend several days there only needing to drive if we want to go to a grocery store or some other sort of large commercial business. Maybe that is why my man and I both love Mount Dora so much - it is a combination of what is familiar to both of us.
Of course, New York City, particularly Manhattan, is different than all the places we know well. People live mostly in large apartment buildings or brownstones and most people rent, rather than own. Almost no one owns personal green space so the parks in New York City are large and numerous. While everyone where I've lived in the South and almost everyone in Mount Dora owns a car, very few people in New York City do - instead, they rely on public transit like the subway and other train systems, buses and taxi cabs. Again, the lifestyles of people in various places can differ so greatly, we have a hard time imagining what it would be like to live in a place so different than what we've experienced. I am amazed by the diversity of lifestyles in the United States. No wonder Americans sometimes have a hard time understanding one another.
Perhaps one of the biggest differences between city dwellers and those in rural or small city/town areas is the openness of the people. Where I live now, where I grew up and in Mount Dora, as in most Southern towns and cities, people are very open and expressive. We are quick to introduce ourselves to strangers, usually with a big smile, a handshake or a hug. We greet new neighbors with a plate of cookies or a homemade cake and an invitation to dinner. We easily share our life stories and expect the same of others. We like to chat and gossip and can spend hours conversing. We are quick to offer a helping hand or to accept one. We often think of our neighbors as an extension of our families.
In heavily populated places like NYC, being that open and friendly is not advisable and maybe even dangerous. With so many people, there is no way to know who to trust and who to avoid, so avoidance is the default reaction. I smile easily at the people on the streets of New York and I often get strange looks, as though the recipient of my friendly smile thinks I am mentally unstable. Whereas in Mount Dora or in my own city, I can smile abundantly with no one finding my silent, toothy greeting unusual, odd or alarming.
I have intently studied the NYC subway riders who rarely even acknowledge the presence of one another. They sit stony-faced, listening to music through headphones, playing with their smart phones, reading books or newspapers, or sleeping. Unless traveling with someone else or talking on a phone, those expressionless people speak to no one and rarely make eye contact. In crowded spaces, it is important for people to protect their personal space, which is basically nonexistent on crowded trains. Since it is impossible to prevent the invasion of personal space in such conditions, human beings shut down their non-verbal and, to some extent, their verbal communications by remaining as physically expressionless as possible. Even when I try to make eye contact or prompt a smile from a stranger, I almost always fail and the few times I have succeeded and was able to engage the person in conversation, I inevitably discovered he or she was originally from the South or New England.
A fallacy that I had, and many others have, of New Yorkers is that they are unfriendly or rude. That is just not true. We have never been in a situation of needing help that someone did not offer assistance. The first time my man took me to NYC, he was shocked to discover the subways no longer had booths with human beings selling tokens to ride the trains. Booths, people and tokens had been replaced with computers and printed tickets. He had no idea how to use the ticket computers and although I could navigate the screens, I had no idea what choices to make regarding tickets, routes, etc. We stood before one of those computer boxes looking confused and worried when a businessman using the machine next to us noticed our states of panic. Without introduction or chit-chat, he brusquely offered to help, rapidly showed us how to use the computer and quickly disappeared with us yelling, “Thank you!” as he was engulfed in a sea of suits. In the South, the same man would have politely asked if we needed help, he would then have introduced himself and perhaps shared a personal comment or two and then he would have slowly instructed us on the use of the computer and then repeated all the steps to make sure we “got it”, asked if we understood completely, stood nearby to confirm that we were able to purchase our tickets with no problems and then, when he was assured all was well, he would have said good-bye, giving us ample opportunity to say thank-you (probably more than once) and he then would have strolled away after wishing us a good day. The help presented to us in NYC came in a different package, but it was help nonetheless. The businessman saw people in distress and jumped in to give assistance. He did not have spare minutes to pass the time of day. He did not need to know our names nor did he need to share his. He showed us what to do, expected us to pay attention and understand the first time and when his work was done, he left. Short, sweet and to the point. Maybe not what we would call a friendly exchange, but still an act of kindness between strangers.
I love NYC. I love the energy, the excitement, the culture, and the constantly changing environment. But, being there made me realize how strongly I appreciate the small-town feeling of Mount Dora - the friendliness of the people, the slower pace of life, the quiet atmosphere. After vacationing in NYC, I feel I need a vacation from my vacation! But, when I take a break in Mount Dora, I really feel like my battery is recharged. Both places are fabulous, but when it comes to choosing a place to live, I choose Mount Dora.
Being in New Jersey and New York City, provided me with a much needed change of scenery and helped me to appreciate what I have and what I want to manifest. It is always good to have new and different experiences - they broaden our perspectives, increase our knowledge, activate our creativity and help us to better define who we are and what we want. And I know that I still want to Manifest Mount Dora!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Distance
Right now, my dream of Mount Dora seems far away. For two weeks my focus was on getting well and, although I am much better, I am still running with a less than full tank. Now I am focusing on getting ready for our fast-approaching eight-day vacation. Since I was already behind at work from illness, the last few days have felt a little hectic as I tried to get caught up as well as get ahead before my vacation. I also have been helping out more often with my grandchildren and as wonderful as it is to be more actively involved in their lives, it can also be very tiring keeping up with two children under the age of six! Each night during the last three weeks, I fell exhausted into bed, not feeling very inclined to engage in manifesting practices and meditations. It has even been more than a week since my last blog post. My birth year is winding down and, in previous years, the autumn months before my birthday have produced the biggest changes of my year. The days are passing and at this moment I feel no closer to what I want to manifest.
I could feel sad or disappointed or hopeless, but I don’t. I have to live life as it comes and I still have my eye on the prize. Over the last three weeks, I may not have been focusing on it as much, but I have not forgotten it and I am still doing little things to keep my Mount Dora project on my mind. But, it did take a backseat to getting well, to caring for my grandchildren, to getting caught up at work and to getting ready for vacation. A vacation from my routine, even the daily manifesting habits I have cultivated, is a good thing. Even a fun, interesting and inspiring project like Manifesting Mount Dora can turn old and tired without a break. All but one of our mini vacations this year were spent in Mount Dora and as much as I love those long weekend trips to my favorite town, I think its time for a change of scenery.
Have you ever been working hard or studying intently and your mind just freezes or your brain becomes so tired you cannot think anymore or absorb anymore? What do you do? Take a break. Go for a walk, engage in another activity, take a nap, play with your cat. Well, my break will be a few days in New Jersey and New York. I will be looking at skyscrapers rather than the one and two story buildings of Mount Dora. I will be walking in Central and Washington Square Parks rather than Donnelly and Grantham Parks. I will stroll down Broadway and Fifth Avenue rather than Baker and Tremain Streets. I will be surrounded by the hectic bustling of a mega-city, rather than the laid back, slow-paced atmosphere of a small, Southern town. I will be donning jackets and socks rather than t-shirts and sandals. The change will be refreshing and invigorating.
As I prepare to go, I am filled with gratitude that I am able to take this trip, that my daughter and other family and friends will take care of things at home while I am gone, that my clients are flexible enough to allow me an eight-day vacation, that my man's mother is a gracious, fun and loving hostess to us while we are there, that his niece and/or sister provide us with transportation to and from the train station and, most of all, that four years ago my man introduced me to the excitement and beauty of New York City.
I will have limited time and intermittent internet access for more than a week, so my blog may lay dormant during that time, but that is okay, too. Even a break from writing this blog, which I love doing, can be renewing. Because life can become too predictable and too ruttish, we all need time off, downtime, time to have new experiences and see new sights and that is exactly what I am going to do!! I plan to return feeling healthy, happy, strengthened and focused.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
7/19/12 The Importance of Fun
As adults we often forget how important having fun is. We get busy, we get serious, we get tied down, we get important, we get needed and suddenly there’s no time for fun. Fun looks frivolous and seems a waste of precious hours that could be spent on making money, going to school, or just doing something inane that fools us into thinking we are chillin’. Our lives revolve around schedules and fun is rarely scheduled, but maybe it should be.
Perhaps some of you are the lucky ones who learned about balance during your childhood. Maybe you grew up in a well-balanced family that made time for fun as well as work. Or maybe your family life was all screwed up, but you figured out how to create balance yourself or you learned it from someone else while you were still young. I was a late bloomer when it came to balance and to appreciating fun.
Most of my childhood was spent without a mom at home and with a dad who was a far cry from Fred MacMurray. After the age of seven, when my oldest sister was no longer living at home, I was expected to grow up FAST. I had many household responsibilities and mistakes were not tolerated. My father worked six days a week at his business and he was not very tolerant of anyone slacking off, including me. He rarely took time off. The few vacations we took were to visit relatives - more like obligations than real vacations. Obviously, I did not learn balance at home. But, in spite of having more obligations than a typical child at the time (and yet certainly fewer than many others), I was still a child and playtime and creating fun were part of my life. But, I did not see much fun in my father’s life and that is the lesson I learned - fun is fine for kids, but should be very limited for adults.
Once I got married at 21, my allotted time for fun became less and less every year. My job and housework took up most of my time. My “free” time was spent reading, which I love, but which is not the kind of fun I am talking about. The fun of which I speak is DOING something that is out-of-the-ordinary, maybe exciting, the kind of activities that create lifetime memories. That is the kind of fun I rarely had. As with my father, most vacations with my husband were to visit relatives. Sure, those trips could be fun, but they were also usually stressful and brought up old, unresolved family issues that dampened any enjoyment. Any just-for-the-fun-of-it trips were quick day trips that may have provided a break from the routine and may even have been a little fun, but certainly were not those creating-forever-memory types of activities. For us, money was always a issue. When you struggle to pay the bills, you feel guilty if you “waste” money on fun or vacations or any kind of loving self-care.
At most of my jobs I worked more than 40 hours a week and often as many as 60 hours a week. Add my commute times, which, depending on where we lived, ranged from 30 minutes to 90 minutes, and my work days were very long. Besides the issue of available funds for recreation, I was just too darn tired to even think about planning something fun. And that is how I felt without children!! I look at my daughter raising two kids and I worry that she too will lose touch with having fun, but, fortunately, she is more balanced than I ever was at her age.
It was not until I started my “new life” eight years ago that I began to learn about the importance of fun as an adult. The new man in my life relished leisure time and made a point of planning fun activities. He taught me to slow down. By the time he entered my life, I was very deeply exhausted, physically and spiritually. Being retired, he took care of the house, my pets and me. I was still working, and sometimes long hours, but at least the work did not continue when I got home. I felt guilty coming home to a cooked meal, an orderly house and clean clothes, with nothing to do but relax, but I adjusted and welcomed the much need rest he was providing for me. Money was still a huge issue for the first few years we were together, but being a master of balance, he taught me how to find inexpensive ways to have fun. And, once I was rested after years of being overextended, I felt more like getting out and doing activities that were fun, different and stimulating.
Now, I schedule fun. I check the newspaper for activities in my city. We go to plays, movies, concerts, book-signings, art galleries, classes, festivals. We go for walks and out to dinner and meet friends for coffee. We entertain in our home. Although money is less restricted, we still find many things to do that are free or inexpensive. Most importantly, we get the heck out of town several times a year. A change of scenery can do so much to give me a fresh perspective and a lift in my mood. Of course, now we go to Mount Dora several times a year and that is fabulous, but we also go to New Jersey/New York City every year and have spent time in St. Augustine, Myrtle Beach and South Florida. This fall I am going on a two-day women’s beach retreat that will be an entirely different experience.
I also schedule little trips with my daughter and grandchildren. This past weekend we went to Tavares, Mount Dora and Deland. We took seaplane rides, went to a splash park and a playground, took a nature walk and watched the sunset over Lake Dora, ate out at restaurants and visited relatives. The weekend was full of activities and I did a lot of driving, but we made some wonderful memories and came home refreshed and revived.
Being over-worked, burned-out, tired, bored, and un-stimulated builds blocks - really big, unsurmountable walls - that will not allow prosperity to enter. By disallowing fun, I was also pushing away prosperity. Stress, like really thick mud, prevented me from moving forward toward my goals and my desires or, really, from even making goals and having desires.
My man has a saying “nothing ever happens at home” by which he means nothing NEW ever happens at home. If we stay home, walled-in with our busyness and fatigue, nothing new, and especially nothing new AND good, will ever happen. Stagnation is a slow death. The TV and computer games are not real life. We must get out, we must experience fun in any way we can. Maybe money is an issue, but there are free activities everywhere. Or, maybe you live in a remote area far from all those fun activities. So, find something fun to do where you are - perhaps gardening, or some other hobby, or just hanging out with friends. Take a walk or a drive or a bike ride or a swim. Play a game or a sport. GET OUT. DO SOMETHING. Make it your mission to find something fun and different to do. Search for fun. Search for other people who want to have fun. Find a way to add some variety to the hours in your life. Open windows, open doors, open you mind and your heart. Volunteer and discover a new world. You may be tired, but laying around the house will only make you more tired. Doing something that stimulates your mind and gets your body in motion will actually give you energy and allow you to move beyond your walls.
Prosperity or whatever you want to manifest will not knock down your door and drag you outside so you can experience it. You have to make the effort and you need to do so with light-heartedness, not as though you are hunting down and killing a critter to find your starving family. Finding a way to have fun just may be your first step toward your dreams. I know its working for me.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
5/23/12 Righteous Fantasies
I was raised by a father who rarely took a vacation and often worked six or seven days a week. I followed the same path. I worked long hours, sometimes ten to twelve hours a day often for seven days a week, month after month. I rarely took time off and when I did indulge in a vacation, it was usually to visit family and, as many know, those types of holidays from work are not always restful and often not fun. My husband, now deceased, had a similar childhood experience. When his family rarely took a “vacation”, it was a two, possibly three, day trip to one of the beaches east of their home in Gainesville. Not exactly great travelers, were they? At least the few vacations my father initiated took us out of our state!
During our nearly thirty year marriage, most of the vacations my husband and I took were what I call “obligatory vacations” - visiting long-distance relatives, attending weddings or funerals, or pre-move trips to find a place to live, etc. Those obligatory trips often had some moments of fun and joy, but, especially for me, were still working vacations. First, we traveled long distances, usually driving 6 to 16 straight hours - not restful or fun. And, spending a week at a relative’s home did not excuse me from domestic duties. I still helped with food preparation and cleanup. I still did laundry. I often helped with childcare and housework, depending on who we were visiting. A few days off from my paying job was nice, but sometimes I did more domestic work on vacation than I did at home.
Because cash was always in short supply, these obligatory vacations were less expensive and all we could afford. Because of our lack of funds and because of the long hours necessary at the majority of my jobs, the most we could manage was possibly one vacation a year that lasted for more than a long weekend. Many years we did not even take that one week.
In my childhood, I dreamed of traveling. In fact, I wanted to be a travel writer, venturing around the world and writing articles, stories and books about my experiences. But, as often happens, I grew up and discovered, or decided, that life had different plans for me. Rather than being a world traveler, I reluctantly and resentfully became a home-body. My world travels were reduced to a very few obligatory vacations to visit family and friends with the longest trip being from Florida to Maine to visit my mom. Two exceptions were trips to Niagara Falls, Canada - one to accompany my niece to a wedding she was attending and another to attend a wedding of my own friends. Both trips were fabulous, but definitely the exception to the norm of my life.
For the first few years of my “new life” after leaving my husband, money, and credit for that matter, was even tighter and the most I could manage was a couple of days in St. Augustine each year. Then, I sold my former home in the country. By the time of the sale, the real estate market had crashed and the purchase price had been reduced several times just to release me from the mortgage, insurance and tax expenses. After paying off the mortgage and a few home-related debts, the cash in my pocket was much less than I’d ever thought possible. Most of that cash went to pay off other financial obligations, leaving me with even less. But, still, that less was more than I’d had in my bank account for many years. After experiencing such rough financial times, my plan was to save the money, using it very conservatively, when needed. It wasn’t much, but it was all I had, so a hoarding mentality took over my mind. Even though I’d been practicing the Law of Attraction and even though I know that money only has energy when it is being used, I chose to live small and hold tightly to what little I had. Until. . .
One day, while my man and I were passing time in the public library while some repairs were being done on my car, I picked up a book called “Do Less, Achieve More - Discover the Hidden Power of Giving In” by Chin-Ning Chu. That book and “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain are the two books at the top of my prosperity recommended reading list. The book is short and easy to read, so please make the effort.
While reading that book, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”. The author tells the story of a 53-year-old woman (I was 54 at the time) who was raised in France and immigrated to the U.S. in her twenties. She longed to return for an extended visit to her homeland, but the expense of such a trip and her loss of time from work led her to settle for no more than week-long trips, which were never long enough. Even after being offered a rent-free home for two months in France, she hesitated because of some pressing responsibilities at her job and because she feared losing her job if she took so much time off. She struggled in vain to find a way to connect such a visit to France with her job so she could justify the lengthy stay with her employer. Frustrated and disappointed, she nixed the idea of a two-month stay in her homeland. When she told a friend that there was no way she could go, the friend said, “You weren’t born to work yourself to death. You were born to fulfill your desire for experiences. To love well, which includes fulfilling your righteous fantasies, leads you to complete your desire to experience life. To your soul, the fulfilling of fantasies is as important as accomplishing your career goals. It is wrong to die without satisfying those fantasies.” The woman heeded those words and scheduled her trip. That extended stay in France changed her life forever. She reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, their romance was rekindled and they married. Her American employer valued her work so highly that he allowed her to continue working for the company from her new, permanent home in France.
That story was my light-bulb moment. The words “righteous fantasies” energized and haunted me and, while sitting in the library, I made the decision to use some of the cash from the sale of my home to take a long-dreamed-of trip to New York City. Within a week, reservations were made and in less than a month, my man and I were off to the city he loves so much and to which he always wanted to introduce me. Our trip was amazing. I’d always wanted to visit NYC, but I never dreamed I would love it so much. Visiting NYC was one of my “righteous fantasies”. I took ten days off work - the longest I’d ever been away from any job and the longest time off I’d taken since starting my business 11 years before. Since then, we return to NYC every year and each trip is as amazing the ones before.
I would have thought that leaving my work for ten days would be impossible, but once I voiced the intention of the New York City trip, all fell into place with amazing simplicity. The travel plans came together easily. My work magically slowed to a level that was reasonable to abandon for ten days. Loose ends tied up into lovely bows of anticipation. A trip that had once seemed impossible became righteously doable. And, I have found that to be the case when engaging in other plans. If the plans are truly righteous, if they are truly what I need and what I desire, if they will elevate, educate and evolve me, if I will have time for rejuvenation and fun, all the details come together like cake batter ingredients - smooth, sweet and tasty!
It has been years since I thought of “righteous fantasies”. It took Manifesting Mount Dora to bring those words to mind. The word “righteous” means morally or ethically justified. It seems odd to think of our fantasies as being morally or ethically justified. Righteous just does not seem to be the correct adjective to pair with the word “fantasies”. But, why don’t we think of our fantasies as righteous? We are here to live large, to experience boldly. But, most of us live small and in fear. I pledge to start visualizing and manifesting other righteous fantasies. Mount Dora is already in the works. What next??
During our nearly thirty year marriage, most of the vacations my husband and I took were what I call “obligatory vacations” - visiting long-distance relatives, attending weddings or funerals, or pre-move trips to find a place to live, etc. Those obligatory trips often had some moments of fun and joy, but, especially for me, were still working vacations. First, we traveled long distances, usually driving 6 to 16 straight hours - not restful or fun. And, spending a week at a relative’s home did not excuse me from domestic duties. I still helped with food preparation and cleanup. I still did laundry. I often helped with childcare and housework, depending on who we were visiting. A few days off from my paying job was nice, but sometimes I did more domestic work on vacation than I did at home.
Because cash was always in short supply, these obligatory vacations were less expensive and all we could afford. Because of our lack of funds and because of the long hours necessary at the majority of my jobs, the most we could manage was possibly one vacation a year that lasted for more than a long weekend. Many years we did not even take that one week.
In my childhood, I dreamed of traveling. In fact, I wanted to be a travel writer, venturing around the world and writing articles, stories and books about my experiences. But, as often happens, I grew up and discovered, or decided, that life had different plans for me. Rather than being a world traveler, I reluctantly and resentfully became a home-body. My world travels were reduced to a very few obligatory vacations to visit family and friends with the longest trip being from Florida to Maine to visit my mom. Two exceptions were trips to Niagara Falls, Canada - one to accompany my niece to a wedding she was attending and another to attend a wedding of my own friends. Both trips were fabulous, but definitely the exception to the norm of my life.
For the first few years of my “new life” after leaving my husband, money, and credit for that matter, was even tighter and the most I could manage was a couple of days in St. Augustine each year. Then, I sold my former home in the country. By the time of the sale, the real estate market had crashed and the purchase price had been reduced several times just to release me from the mortgage, insurance and tax expenses. After paying off the mortgage and a few home-related debts, the cash in my pocket was much less than I’d ever thought possible. Most of that cash went to pay off other financial obligations, leaving me with even less. But, still, that less was more than I’d had in my bank account for many years. After experiencing such rough financial times, my plan was to save the money, using it very conservatively, when needed. It wasn’t much, but it was all I had, so a hoarding mentality took over my mind. Even though I’d been practicing the Law of Attraction and even though I know that money only has energy when it is being used, I chose to live small and hold tightly to what little I had. Until. . .
One day, while my man and I were passing time in the public library while some repairs were being done on my car, I picked up a book called “Do Less, Achieve More - Discover the Hidden Power of Giving In” by Chin-Ning Chu. That book and “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain are the two books at the top of my prosperity recommended reading list. The book is short and easy to read, so please make the effort.
While reading that book, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”. The author tells the story of a 53-year-old woman (I was 54 at the time) who was raised in France and immigrated to the U.S. in her twenties. She longed to return for an extended visit to her homeland, but the expense of such a trip and her loss of time from work led her to settle for no more than week-long trips, which were never long enough. Even after being offered a rent-free home for two months in France, she hesitated because of some pressing responsibilities at her job and because she feared losing her job if she took so much time off. She struggled in vain to find a way to connect such a visit to France with her job so she could justify the lengthy stay with her employer. Frustrated and disappointed, she nixed the idea of a two-month stay in her homeland. When she told a friend that there was no way she could go, the friend said, “You weren’t born to work yourself to death. You were born to fulfill your desire for experiences. To love well, which includes fulfilling your righteous fantasies, leads you to complete your desire to experience life. To your soul, the fulfilling of fantasies is as important as accomplishing your career goals. It is wrong to die without satisfying those fantasies.” The woman heeded those words and scheduled her trip. That extended stay in France changed her life forever. She reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, their romance was rekindled and they married. Her American employer valued her work so highly that he allowed her to continue working for the company from her new, permanent home in France.
That story was my light-bulb moment. The words “righteous fantasies” energized and haunted me and, while sitting in the library, I made the decision to use some of the cash from the sale of my home to take a long-dreamed-of trip to New York City. Within a week, reservations were made and in less than a month, my man and I were off to the city he loves so much and to which he always wanted to introduce me. Our trip was amazing. I’d always wanted to visit NYC, but I never dreamed I would love it so much. Visiting NYC was one of my “righteous fantasies”. I took ten days off work - the longest I’d ever been away from any job and the longest time off I’d taken since starting my business 11 years before. Since then, we return to NYC every year and each trip is as amazing the ones before.
I would have thought that leaving my work for ten days would be impossible, but once I voiced the intention of the New York City trip, all fell into place with amazing simplicity. The travel plans came together easily. My work magically slowed to a level that was reasonable to abandon for ten days. Loose ends tied up into lovely bows of anticipation. A trip that had once seemed impossible became righteously doable. And, I have found that to be the case when engaging in other plans. If the plans are truly righteous, if they are truly what I need and what I desire, if they will elevate, educate and evolve me, if I will have time for rejuvenation and fun, all the details come together like cake batter ingredients - smooth, sweet and tasty!
It has been years since I thought of “righteous fantasies”. It took Manifesting Mount Dora to bring those words to mind. The word “righteous” means morally or ethically justified. It seems odd to think of our fantasies as being morally or ethically justified. Righteous just does not seem to be the correct adjective to pair with the word “fantasies”. But, why don’t we think of our fantasies as righteous? We are here to live large, to experience boldly. But, most of us live small and in fear. I pledge to start visualizing and manifesting other righteous fantasies. Mount Dora is already in the works. What next??
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