My man and I recently had a week's vacation, which included the Memorial Day Holiday, in New Jersey and New York City. We normally take this trip only in the fall, but decided to make an additional springtime trip this year. As usual, we stayed with his loving mother in New Jersey and took the train each day (that weather would allow and we did have some nasty weather while we were there) into Manhattan. In spite of weather challenges, we had a good time and a wonderful visit with his 92-year-old mother. As we were leaving on the train from Newark Penn Station, he called his mother to let her know we were on our way and she said, in Spanish, "Always remember to get closer".
I know her advice was targeted to us as a couple, and it was good advice. Most relationships, be they romantic or family or friendships or business contacts, grow cold when we fail to make the effort to be close and to get closer. We become complacent; we get busy; we lose focus. We think we won't change; he or she won't change; life will continue to chug along. And it does. Chug along like an old train. But, without attention and maintenance, those relationships slow down just like an old train. Then, one day, the train just stops running. Admittedly, in the great stories of our lives, not all relationships are supposed to continue. Some last for a season or only for some reason. We need to know when to shake the dust off our shoes and move forward. And, we need to know when to buckle down and do the work it takes to revive a sick relationship that begs for new life. Knowing when to let go and when to hold on is tough. Sometimes we hold on too long, as I believe I did in my marriage, and sometimes we let go too soon. Perhaps the choice depends on what, if anything, we are still gaining from a relationship and what we think we may lose should it end. Will life be better with or without it? Are we happier now, with it, or will we be happier in the future, without it? Do we feel restrained, unsupported, unappreciated? Is there still an avenue of communication open? How much work are we willing to put into the revival process? Sometimes, I believe we are just tired and think starting over would be more exciting and maybe even easier. And, that is often true. So much to consider and to weigh. Never an easy decision. So, her advice to get closer has to be a reminder that relationships are a work-in-progress and the work needs to be done little by little, every day, or the task becomes too great, the work too hard, and we are run from the effort needed.
Even though I am sure her advice was aimed at us as a couple, I have thought about it in other ways, too. Today, I applied the "get closer" to spiritual awakening. I thought of how our lives should be aimed at getting closer to our spirit, or our soul, or God, or whatever you choose to call that which is larger than ourselves. Some of us were raised with a strong spiritual or religious background and we chose to continue on the path that our parents started for us. Others of us chose to leave that path and allowed life to take us in other directions. Some may, as I did, leave the spiritual path entirely for a period. And, some may never return to it. Others find their way back to spirituality in one form or another, often in a form much different than the one learned in childhood.
I was raised Catholic, became agnostic for several years, and then, due to the influence of my husband, ended up in the Southern Baptist faith for a few years. Many beliefs in that religion did not resonate with me and some just plain upset me. I liked our church family, however, and stayed there much longer than my belief held out. Eventually, the differences between what the church said was true and what my heart said was true, led to my leaving the Southern Baptist faith. I felt like I had been released from a snare.
At first, after leaving the Baptist faith, I veered away from religion or spirituality in any form, much the same way I did after leaving the Catholic faith. But, after I left my old life and started my new life, I encountered people who were on spiritual journeys that were unlike any I had known. Their spiritual lives were rich and full, but did not involve churches or organized religion. They did not own any particular "faith". They chose to read and study and pick and choose what suited them. They refused to be labeled or to be pushed into joining or belonging. Some did find groups or even churches that resonated with them and their diverse beliefs and others continue to "get closer" on their own.
In other blogs, I have written about what I have read and studied and learned. I believe in Universal Energy and reincarnation and goodness. To choose an organized faith, I probably lean more toward Buddhism, although I am not a Buddhist. I am always searching and always learning. Now, my Sunday mornings are not spent in a church but are spent watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. The diversity of her guests and their beliefs and their teachings keeps me interested. I learn something new every Sunday. I feel better about myself and about life after I watch Super Soul Sunday. It is not church, but I don't want church. It is a spiritual journey and that is what I value and need in my life right now.
My daughter and her husband are Catholics and are raising their children as Catholics. Having been raised a Catholic, I am actually quite comfortable with that because I know and understand the faith, even if I do not choose to be part of it. My daughter and grandchildren live with me and I respect their religious choice and I ask them to honor "my Super Soul Sunday time". My son-in-law, who is going to college in another city, is less accepting of other beliefs. He was visiting on a Sunday while I was watching Super Soul Sunday. As he and the children were getting ready to leave for Mass, my grandson came in to ask why I never go to church with them. I explained, as I had before, that I don't believe the same as they do, and that is okay. I said that I get my spiritual lessons from Super Soul Sunday. That is when he said, "That show tricks you." "Tricks me, how?" I asked. I knew those were not his words or his thoughts. "It tricks you so you won't go to church", he replied. I smiled and told him I have spent many years going to churches, I have learned about all kinds of religions and spiritual beliefs and I choose Super Soul Sunday - I am not tricked, or fooled - I make a conscious choice. I reminded him that people have different beliefs and we need to respect those beliefs because we all have our own spiritual paths that get us closer to God or whatever higher power we accept. I wanted to tell him, but did not, that perhaps church is tricking his dad from growing spiritually in other ways. But, if I want to teach tolerance, I must practice it. I am committed to honoring what my grandchildren are being spiritually taught. I may not always agree, but they also have their own spiritual path to travel. I just hope they will learn to honor mine. We can "get closer" through honoring one another this way.
"Get closer" can mean many things. It may relate to a relationship, spirituality, a career, education, a dream. But, to me, the lesson of "get closer" is to put in the work, make the effort, set aside the time, make the commitment no matter what or who it is you are trying to get closer to. This blog is my way of getting closer to Manifesting Mount Dora. It keeps me focused, keeps the dream sharp, gives me hope. Perhaps we should all take time every now and then to consider what or who we want to get closer to.
I know her advice was targeted to us as a couple, and it was good advice. Most relationships, be they romantic or family or friendships or business contacts, grow cold when we fail to make the effort to be close and to get closer. We become complacent; we get busy; we lose focus. We think we won't change; he or she won't change; life will continue to chug along. And it does. Chug along like an old train. But, without attention and maintenance, those relationships slow down just like an old train. Then, one day, the train just stops running. Admittedly, in the great stories of our lives, not all relationships are supposed to continue. Some last for a season or only for some reason. We need to know when to shake the dust off our shoes and move forward. And, we need to know when to buckle down and do the work it takes to revive a sick relationship that begs for new life. Knowing when to let go and when to hold on is tough. Sometimes we hold on too long, as I believe I did in my marriage, and sometimes we let go too soon. Perhaps the choice depends on what, if anything, we are still gaining from a relationship and what we think we may lose should it end. Will life be better with or without it? Are we happier now, with it, or will we be happier in the future, without it? Do we feel restrained, unsupported, unappreciated? Is there still an avenue of communication open? How much work are we willing to put into the revival process? Sometimes, I believe we are just tired and think starting over would be more exciting and maybe even easier. And, that is often true. So much to consider and to weigh. Never an easy decision. So, her advice to get closer has to be a reminder that relationships are a work-in-progress and the work needs to be done little by little, every day, or the task becomes too great, the work too hard, and we are run from the effort needed.
Even though I am sure her advice was aimed at us as a couple, I have thought about it in other ways, too. Today, I applied the "get closer" to spiritual awakening. I thought of how our lives should be aimed at getting closer to our spirit, or our soul, or God, or whatever you choose to call that which is larger than ourselves. Some of us were raised with a strong spiritual or religious background and we chose to continue on the path that our parents started for us. Others of us chose to leave that path and allowed life to take us in other directions. Some may, as I did, leave the spiritual path entirely for a period. And, some may never return to it. Others find their way back to spirituality in one form or another, often in a form much different than the one learned in childhood.
I was raised Catholic, became agnostic for several years, and then, due to the influence of my husband, ended up in the Southern Baptist faith for a few years. Many beliefs in that religion did not resonate with me and some just plain upset me. I liked our church family, however, and stayed there much longer than my belief held out. Eventually, the differences between what the church said was true and what my heart said was true, led to my leaving the Southern Baptist faith. I felt like I had been released from a snare.
At first, after leaving the Baptist faith, I veered away from religion or spirituality in any form, much the same way I did after leaving the Catholic faith. But, after I left my old life and started my new life, I encountered people who were on spiritual journeys that were unlike any I had known. Their spiritual lives were rich and full, but did not involve churches or organized religion. They did not own any particular "faith". They chose to read and study and pick and choose what suited them. They refused to be labeled or to be pushed into joining or belonging. Some did find groups or even churches that resonated with them and their diverse beliefs and others continue to "get closer" on their own.
In other blogs, I have written about what I have read and studied and learned. I believe in Universal Energy and reincarnation and goodness. To choose an organized faith, I probably lean more toward Buddhism, although I am not a Buddhist. I am always searching and always learning. Now, my Sunday mornings are not spent in a church but are spent watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. The diversity of her guests and their beliefs and their teachings keeps me interested. I learn something new every Sunday. I feel better about myself and about life after I watch Super Soul Sunday. It is not church, but I don't want church. It is a spiritual journey and that is what I value and need in my life right now.
My daughter and her husband are Catholics and are raising their children as Catholics. Having been raised a Catholic, I am actually quite comfortable with that because I know and understand the faith, even if I do not choose to be part of it. My daughter and grandchildren live with me and I respect their religious choice and I ask them to honor "my Super Soul Sunday time". My son-in-law, who is going to college in another city, is less accepting of other beliefs. He was visiting on a Sunday while I was watching Super Soul Sunday. As he and the children were getting ready to leave for Mass, my grandson came in to ask why I never go to church with them. I explained, as I had before, that I don't believe the same as they do, and that is okay. I said that I get my spiritual lessons from Super Soul Sunday. That is when he said, "That show tricks you." "Tricks me, how?" I asked. I knew those were not his words or his thoughts. "It tricks you so you won't go to church", he replied. I smiled and told him I have spent many years going to churches, I have learned about all kinds of religions and spiritual beliefs and I choose Super Soul Sunday - I am not tricked, or fooled - I make a conscious choice. I reminded him that people have different beliefs and we need to respect those beliefs because we all have our own spiritual paths that get us closer to God or whatever higher power we accept. I wanted to tell him, but did not, that perhaps church is tricking his dad from growing spiritually in other ways. But, if I want to teach tolerance, I must practice it. I am committed to honoring what my grandchildren are being spiritually taught. I may not always agree, but they also have their own spiritual path to travel. I just hope they will learn to honor mine. We can "get closer" through honoring one another this way.
"Get closer" can mean many things. It may relate to a relationship, spirituality, a career, education, a dream. But, to me, the lesson of "get closer" is to put in the work, make the effort, set aside the time, make the commitment no matter what or who it is you are trying to get closer to. This blog is my way of getting closer to Manifesting Mount Dora. It keeps me focused, keeps the dream sharp, gives me hope. Perhaps we should all take time every now and then to consider what or who we want to get closer to.
