Miracle in the Night

It is a little after midnight as I write this.  About an hour ago, I was laying in bed, reading the last page of a book.  I closed the book, satisfied with the ending, and laid in my bed thinking of the story and feeling content and cozy.  Everyone in the house, but me, was asleep.  Silence engulfed me.  Even our neighborhood was unusually quiet for a Friday night.  I was ready to turn off my bedside light and go to sleep, but I couldn't. I sometimes experience insomnia, but that was not the case.  My eyes were drowsy and I was ready for a full night of sleep, but something was nagging me - this inexplicable feeling nudging me to get up and go outside.  Why?  I listened intently, but could not hear any worrisome sound and I could not remember any noise that my mind may have registered unconsciously as something of concern.  I breathed deeply - no smell of smoke or chemicals.   I could not identify a problem or a reason to leave the comfort of my bed, but still I felt compelled to go outside.

I tried to push the feeling aside.  I labeled it illogical, nonsensical, impractical and just plain silly, but it would not go away.  Finally, after ten minutes of unsuccessfully attempting to use logic to justify staying under my warm covers, I got up, through a sweater on over my pajamas, slipped on my sandals and tiptoed through the house so as not to wake up anyone with my silly nighttime prowl.  As slowly and quietly as possible, I opened the front door and ventured out into the dark, breezy coolness of this November night.

There were lights on in the three houses across the street, but no one and nothing stirred.  Other than some light traffic sounds from the busier corridor streets to the north and east of our neighborhood, I heard nothing.  I walked around my car and into the carport.  I looked around where our garbage can, recycling bins and charcoal grill are, but nothing was amiss. The plants that line the chest-high wall that makes up one side of the carport were all in place.  My wind chimes were still hanging in place and, since the nighttime breeze was coming from a different direction, they were silently motionless.

As I stood there feeling very cold and very foolish, I heard the soft grunting sounds that one of my rescue dogs makes.  I have two rescues, a 12 year-old mother and her 9 year-old daughter, who I’ve had for ten years and who live in our fenced backyard and sleep on our back porch.  I looked toward the back of the carport, which is separated from our backyard by a chain link fence, expecting to see mama dog standing there, wagging her tail and making her pig-like grunting sounds. But, even in the cloudy darkness, I could see she was not there.  And, yet, her distinctive guttural noises were very close.  I looked to my right and there she sat just inches from me!  What was she doing outside the fence?  How did she get out?  We have lived in this house for eight years and during the first two, when both dogs were much younger and much more spry, they escaped the backyard three times.  The fence is an old patchwork of different types of fencing and after each escape, we found and repaired another hole or gap we had missed the time before.  For six years, the two dogs had only left the backyard when they were leashed and ready to walk our neighborhood or to go to the vet’s office.

I reached down, petted mama dog and grasped her collar, concerned that she may run off.  Both dogs are skittish and easily frightened by loud noises, strange people and other dogs.  After two of the previous escapes, they ran off, scared and panicked, and were not found until hours later.  I did not want that to happen again.  With mama dog in hand, I turned my concern to daughter dog.  Did she escape too or was she still in the backyard?  Was she off running through the neighborhood or was she somewhere near by?  I called her name softly and she rounded the side of my car and joined her mother at my side.

I was so relieved to have them safely next to me and praised them for staying nearby and not leaving our property.  Since it was too dark to investigate the fence, I led the dogs into our Florida room, gave them dishes of water and made beds for them on the terrazzo floor, where they quickly curled up in search of sleep.  Tomorrow my man and I will find and repair the newest escape route in the fence, but, for now, the two dogs are safe, warm and comfortable in their temporary accommodations.

I cannot explain why I could not sleep or why I was nagged by a feeling that I must go outside.  Maybe an angel was whispering to me.  All I know is that if I had not followed that nudge to get up from my warm bed and go out into the chilly night, my dogs would likely be nowhere to be found come morning.

Perhaps this is not a huge miracle, but, to me, it is an amazing and inexplicable miracle, and I cannot help wondering why this experience came to me tonight.  Was it to urge me to be more aware of and to be more willing to follow my inner nudges and instincts?  Was it to teach me that there is always magic and magical happenings around me?  Was it to emphasize that the Universe/God/Source is always sending us helpful messages?  Was it to tell me that anything is possible and that I should practice more trust?  I believe it was for all these reasons and more.  This week, I was again feeling a little overwhelmed and concerned and Mount Dora and my dreams felt very far away.  Now, I feel like I am covered in magical dust and that anything, ANYTHING is possible.

The Power of The Butterfly

The Butterfly Effect is a chaos theory that a small action can affect larger, more complex systems on the other side of the world.  The idea of the Butterfly Effect is attributed to Edward Norton Lorenz, a mathematician and meteorologist, who applied his theory to weather patterns.  His theory was that  a small, seemingly inconsequential action in one corner of the world, such as the motion of a butterfly's wings, can affect weather in another corner of the world.  His theory has been expanded and applied to many aspects of human life - a small action of one individual grows and flows forward affecting others in its path.  Although Lorenz’s theory as applied to weather has never been proved, we time and again see the proof of the Butterfly Effect as applied to our actions.  Of course, we know that our personal actions and decisions usually affect those in our lives - our family members, our friends, our co-workers - but we may not realize that those actions and decisions can affect those whom we don’t know and may never know.  It may happen step-by-step which is easy to understand: I make a decision that affects one person causing them to take a certain action that affects someone else and so on.  But, there is also the greater, more complex, less easy to comprehend theory that what is learned, done, or changed in one place automatically, not step-by-step but through some sort of universal energy or knowledge, makes a change hundreds or thousand of miles away.  Both applications of the Butterfly Effect are fascinating and I’ve had a personal experience with the Butterfly Effect through this blog.

I started the Manifesting Mount Dora blog to keep myself focused on my desire to manifest a new home and new life in Mount Dora, Florida.  I knew this endeavor would be a learning experience and I wanted a record of my journey and what I learned along the way.  By sharing the blog, I thought it would be interesting to see if anyone else was interested in or inspired by my life experiment.  I thought a few of my friends might read my blog now and again, but I did not expect more attention than that, which was fine since I was writing it for myself.  As the weeks passed, I was amazed to read my blog statistics and discover that people from all over the world were reading it.  I could guess who some of those people in other countries were since I have many Facebook friends around the world, but I have no connections in some of the other countries in my blog stats.  It amazes me that people a world away are interested in this more-than-middle-aged woman in Florida who is using the Law of Attraction to create a new life.  I wonder who these people are, what their lives are like, why they are interested in my blog.  Almost all the comments generated by my blog have been from friends, so I don’t even know what the unknown people think of my musings.  Are they inspired, amused, surprised, shocked, entertained or just curious?  Are my posts affecting their lives in any way?

We have seen how thoughts, ideas, and even revolutions go viral online, affecting how we live, the choices we make, the chances we take, the way we dream.  Our world is truly getting smaller which can be inspiring or frightening.  A relatively unknown person in the U.S. makes a movie about Muhammad that is deemed to be insulting to Islam and people riot around the world, breaching U.S. embassies and killing innocent people.  A bus monitor is tormented by the children in her care and people around the world donate money so she can take a vacation.  Someone posts that an actor is dead and soon everyone is talking about it and re-posting the story even though it is not true.  An injustice in small town USA is detailed in the online news and petitions are created that hundreds of thousands of people sign to right the wrong.  We are inundated with causes to support or ignore.  We are brought to tears or enraged by stories that ten years ago we would never have known.  We get caught up in the real and the unreal, the truth and the lies.

There is great power in the written word these days - more so than in the past because today words travel so quickly and can do such harm or produce so much good.  We seem to have become more vulnerable, less likely to research what is true and what is not.  We jump on bandwagons, wave the flags of causes and riot in the streets without taking the time to check out the facts, without reflecting on the effects of our actions or pausing to take a breath before passing on that juicy tidbit that may or may not be true.  A decade or so ago our over-reactions and our impetuousness would likely only have caused a limited amount of damage or perhaps none at all.  Now our reckless actions may cause deaths half a world away.  Or, in the case of supporting a worthy cause, we can truly change a condition or someone’s life in an amazingly positive way.

I love that people are reading what I am writing and although I don’t think I am writing anything questionable or dangerous, I hope that my readers realize that this is my experience and my life and what I write does not necessarily represent the lives of anyone else in the United States or in Florida.  I hope they realize I am one woman figuring out what life is about and trying my best to create a life that is amazing for me.  If someone gets inspired or encouraged or comforted by something I write, I am thrilled, but I hope they use that inspiration, encouragement or comfort to figure out their own lives, to define their own possibilities and to reach for their own stars in whatever heavens they may be.

I encourage everyone to walk gently on this earth because we do affect one another, even half a world away, and we should want our effects to be positive, not destructive.  We have no comprehension of the power we wield through the written word online.  Let’s use that power to lift up one another, to encourage those who feel hopeless, to help those who are down, to teach those who want to learn, to feed those who are hungry, to respect those who are different.  Let’s use that power to embrace and to educate.  We are living the Butterfly Effect every day and The Power of The Butterfly is daunting.  Use it wisely, use it with caution.  We can be the change we want to see in the world or we can be the change that ends the world.  It is our choice.

What Does It Mean?

I am at a women's retreat at Santa Rosa Beach in the Florida Panhandle.  I've never been this far west in the state and I have never attended a retreat that was longer than a day.  We arrived yesterday at noon and will leave tomorrow at noon.  There are seven of us here: the retreat facilitator Vickie Spray, our massage therapist Katrine, myself and four other women.  None of us is like the other.  We are different ages and sizes and we brought different life experinces to this place.  What we do have in common is our desire to release our fears and our willingness to share and support one another on this two-day spiritual journey.  I am grateful for this opportunity, for Vickie creating this welcoming and safe group, for the lovely home where we are staying and the two women I've never met who created such a warm and inviting space and who are allowing those they don't know to experience it.  I am grateful for all the other women here who are sharing deeply, allowing dark corners of their lives to rise to the surface so we can all heal together.  I am thankful for the hours of self-care we are experiencing through naps, conversations, massages, walks, the beach, laughter, and good food.

In the spring I attended the Spritual Faire at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in my town where I met a woman selling hand-made beaded bracelets.  Each one was unique - sizes, colors and types of stones and beads varied.  Some had metal beads with letters or numbers etched on them.  She instructed me to think of a request I have for the Universe and then "listen" for the bracelet that spoke to me.  I purchased one with earthy-colored stones, many shaped like half-moons, and a metal bead with an 8 on it, which the woman said was the symbol of prosperity.  It seemed apropos since my request, unspoken and therefore unknown to the  bracelet creator, was for the financial prosperity I need to create a new home and life in Mount Dora.  She put the bracelet on my wrist and told me to wear it 24/7 until it released itself from me.  When that happens, she said, you will know that you no longer need the bracelet.  In spite of being unsure what that meant, I walked away contented with my pretty, unusual bracelet.  I wore it every moment since, until yesterday.  Shortly after arriving at the beach retreat, I was in the bathroom changing into some cooler clothing when my left wrist hit against a towel rack.  It was not a hard hit, but it obviously was enough for my bracelet to "release itself from me".  I watched sadly as the lovely earthy-hued beads dropped to the floor, bouncing and rolling in all directions.  My pretty bracelet was gone.  What did that mean to me?  Do I believe that the bracelet could fulfill a wish?  Does the loss of it mean my wish has been fulfilled?
 
Physical evidence at this time says that I have not achieved the financial prosperity to, as I like to say, Manifest Mount Dora, but perhaps I am on the road, or it will occur soon or maybe I have learned an important lesson that will lead toward that goal.  I am not sure.  I can't help but feel that the releasing of the bracelet during this retreat weekend has some sort of significance.  I look at my left wrist and it seems bare without my unique bracelet and even replacing it with one of the many other bracelets I own seems inadequate. And, yet, I also have a feeling of acceptance that it was time for the bracelet to be released or to release me.  This may all seem so silly, like childish wishful thinking, but yet it feels very strongly significant to me.  I have no idea if the bracelet had any power or any lessons to teach or if I am just projecting more importance to a piece of jewelry than it could possibly have.  But, I do know that, although I miss it,  I feel a sense of completion without it.  After almost five months of wearing the bracelet, I have no answers;  I have only more questions.  But, if this journey of Manifesting Mount Dora has taught me anything, its that progress is only made when we ask questions.  Questions spur the seeking that creates the journey.  I often looked at my bracelet and considered financial prosperity, what that meant to me and what fears I have surrounding that idea.  Maybe the job of the bracelet was to encourage the questions that lead to the seeking that leads to the answers.  Maybe those questions are what led me to this weekend retreat and maybe that is why the bracelet was released or released me.  

"Who's Got It Better Than Us?"

"Who's got it better than us?" is the quote attributed to Vincent DiMartino, Sr. on a memorial  plaque that adorns a bench in Elizabeth Evans Park in Mount Dora.  Mr. DiMartino is certainly deceased, but I know I would have liked him.  I imagine he was a boisterous, fast-talking Italian man who loved his family, good food and happy gatherings.  He counted his blessings and knew what a fortunate man he was.  His family loved him enough to dedicate a park bench to him, adding his favorite saying to the memorial plaque.  Someone also painted daisy-like flowers on the bench, the only bench of the several in the park that was adorned with a quote and artwork.  I think that speaks to the specialness of Mr. DiMartino, whom, I am sure, would prefer to be called Vincent.  I imagine the innocent-looking flowers were painted by a grandchild who misses Papa Vincent very much.

Perhaps we should all go around saying, "Who's got it better than us?"  I know that was not a saying in my childhood home, but I would like to rewrite the story of my youth so it was.  I know it certainly was not the saying in the home I shared with my husband for 28 years.  In fact, if a park bench was dedicated to him and a quote added to his plaque, it would say, "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."  Or, perhaps, "I was born on a Wednesday and you know that Wednesday's child is full of woe."  And so was our house, much of the time.  He expected bad luck and that is what he got, but, sadly, so did I.  My nickname was once Pollyanna after the ever-cheerful and optimistic character played by Hayley Mills in the movie of the same name, but after several years living with Wednesday's Child of Woe, Pollyanna became Sad Sack Sally who believed that "Life sucks and then you die."

Who we spend time with matters.  Maybe we cannot choose the families who raise us, but as adults we can take the lessons from those negative family situations and move forward into our adulthood wiser and happier.  We, as grown-ups, can consciously choose to surround ourselves with those who appreciate, teach, embrace, encourage and inspire us.  We can look for the Vincents and avoid the Wednesday Children of Woe.

We can strive to surround ourselves  with beauty, to fill our minds with inspiration and to wonder, "Who's got it better than us?"  Plant some flowers, hang a piece of art, keep your home clean and organized, pick up trash on the streets, recycle, laugh often, have parties and dinners, dance whenever you can, read wonderful stories and inspirational books, travel as much as possible, meet new people wherever you are, sing with gusto, get out of the house, smile at everyone, help those who have less than you, give hearty hugs, learn something new everyday, embrace diversity, be excited about change, cry when necessary and then stop crying, find something creative to do regularly, teach what you have learned, plan a life that is full to overflowing.  I know Vincent DiMartino, Sr. did and that is why he often exclaimed, "Who's got it better than us?"