7/03/12 Living On Standby

I am watching “America’s Got Talent” - not by choice, but because I was resting in the living room while someone else was watching it.  Talent reality shows are a little bit of fun during the first couple of weeks of auditions just because there are some crazily bad performances and a very few amazingly good performances.  After those first few weeks I lose interest because I don’t agree with the decisions of the judges or of “America” and because I usually have something I would rather do.  But, tonight I was struck by the judges decision to review previous performances and then allow some to go through to the next stage of performances, eliminate some entirely and hold others as “standbys”.  The standbys will compete for the “open” positions to move forward in the competition.

Sometimes I feel like I am on standby just like those talent show reality performers.  I am ready to move forward, but for some reason I am being held as a standby.  I am waiting to perform so I can move forward to the next level of competition.  In life, however, I cannot blame the judges.  I am in standby position because I chose not to do what I need to do to move forward with my manifestation and my life. 

I sit here in July, three months and ten days, since I began this Manifesting Mount Dora project.  I am blogging, visualizing, adding to my vison board closet door, keeping a gratitude journal, reading inspiring books, saying affirmations, and visiting Mount Dora and I just don’t feel a sense of movement.  Yes, I know three months and ten days is really not that long, but I want a feeling of forward motion.  So, what can I do to break this feeling of being stuck in the doldrums of summer?

One of the basics of the Law of Attraction is that you have to make room for the new.  Even if the desire of your manifestation has nothing to do with material items, you need to clean out and clear out your life - figuratively and physically.  I look back to the summer of 2004, right before the ending of my “previous life” and the beginning of my present life, and I realize I did a lot of cleaning out, even without realizing what I was doing and how it would affect my future.  Instinctively I knew I needed change, I needed different - anything different.  I was renovating the house I would not live in much longer; I faced the horrible side affects of the depression medication I was on and made a choice to ease off of it (Please know that I am not recommending that anyone stop taking their medications! I eased myself off my medication with the help of a doctor.); I faced many, many problems that were uncontrolled and took steps to figure out how to take charge of and solve them.

So, what can I do now to increase my forward motion?

There are certain unfinished jobs - personal and professional - that I have been avoiding for various reasons and I know now that I must set aside my procrastination and take care of those tasks as soon as possible.  My house is filled to overflowing - partially due to so many people living here and partially due to my reluctance to go through and eliminate what I no longer need or use.  I may not be able to do much about  the overflow due to our large household, but I can do something about my own belongings.

Over the past weekend I made modest progress with my home office space and I tackled and accomplished a work-related task that I have been refusing to face.  Tomorrow is a holiday - the 4th of July - and I plan to use that time to engross myself in another work-related issue that has been hanging over my head for a long while.  Over the upcoming weekend I will clean out my books - and, believe me, I have LOTS of books - and all those little odds and ends of knick-knacks that fill my shelves and tables.  Having some of those trinkets honors memories, but too many are over-kill and I have reached the over-kill stage.  Simplifying is difficult, but necessary, to show the Universe that you are willing and ready to make room for the future.   

I also feel a need to move forward with my writing.  This blog takes more time than I anticipated, but it also excites and fulfills me.  I know I need to be doing more writing and am looking for inspiration and found a little kick-in-the-pants from the book “Bird by Bird - Some Instructions on Writing and Life” by Anne Lamott, one of my favorite writers.  There has to be more time for writing and only I can find those extra moments in each day. 

I have a couple of major personal tasks that are waiting for attention and I am resolved to give my to accomplish those before the end of July.  In fact, the end of July is my goal to have at least 75% of my clearing and cleaning done.
 
This is how I plan to make room for forward motion - to tell the Universe that I am in gear and ready to go.

6/6/12 Synchronicity & Inspiration

My last post was called “Illuminations”.  That word was in my mind when I awoke from an afternoon nap on Sunday and I heard it in my mind over and over the rest of the day.  Not knowing why that word visited me, I thought about what illuminations meant to me and quickly associated it with those moments of great clarity and synchronization that come into being when I’m on an inspired path.  After writing my blog about illumination, I reached for a book to read before going to sleep.  By my bed sit three or four books that I am actively reading at any given time and another six or more books that I plan to read.  One of the newest books in my stack was “The Twelfth Insight” by James Redfield.  You may remember that the first step on this path of learning about the Law of Attraction was when my man gave me the book “The Celestine Prophecy” by the same author and the first in what would become a series with “The Twelfth Insight” the most recent addition.  Not long ago, I saw the book in a store and it called to me, so I had no choice but to bring it home (Other avid readers and book purchasers will understand exactly what I mean!).  I was knee-deep in three other books and had many more waiting in line, so I had no intention of reading my newest purchase for quite awhile.  But, Sunday night “The Twelfth Insight” called to me just as it had in the bookstore, so I had not choice but to pick it up and start reading.  I quickly realized that the book was about what I called illumination in my blog and what Redfield names synchronicity, based on the writings of Dr. Carl Jung.  Reading that book was the next step on my path and was the perfect follow-up to my blog. 

My point is that if you are open to synchronicity, it will happen.  One unexpected step follows another.  A word leads to a blog leads to a book leads to. . .what?  I am not sure yet, but I have no doubt that its all leading somewhere, to something that is part of my manifestation process.  Reading “The Twelfth Insight” has reminded me that I am a little off track when it comes to my Manifesting Mount Dora project.  Understandably so, I think, with all that’s happened in my life recently, but still its time to reconnect with my manifestation project. 

It has been two months since we’ve been to Mount Dora.  Time to reconnect with my home-to-be!  Even my man mentioned, without knowing I was thinking the same thing, that he was missing Mount Dora.  So, we now have plans to spend three days there this month.  I have been neglecting my Optimist Creed and my affirmations - time to reintroduce those to my daily routine.  I wrote in another post about the guided meditation that I discovered and which helped me with my sleeping problems, but, for some unknown reason, I failed to do the meditation for a whole week.  And, yes, my insomnia quickly returned.  I am proud to say that I have meditated the last three nights and have slept soundly and greeted the morning feeling rejuvenated and energetic. 

When I first started these posts back in March I wrote about how manifesting requires high energy levels so eating better and exercising are important.  I did fairly well with that commitment, but once my stress levels reach mountaintop heights, my healthier diet took a hiatus. And, when the Floridian summer heat and humidity took up residence, my willingness to walk regularly waned - my three-to-four-times-a-week walks became one or two, maybe, and even those were shorter and less strenuous.  During the school year, I was getting up 45 minutes earlier than usual to see my grandson off to school, usually preparing his breakfast as well.  His school ended last Friday and since I am accustomed to getting up earlier and since I am meditating again and waking up with energy, I started walking in the morning before the heat and humidity settle in turning each day into a Turkish steam bath.  I’ve also been eating more fruits and vegetables and opting for local and organic produce when possible.

When faced with stress and grief, it is easy, and understandable, that we get sidetracked from our goals and our commitments.  There is only so much we can deal with at one time.  But, as soon as possible, it is important to return to our healthy and spiritual practices.  One of my main sources of stress was my mom’s missing Last Will and Testament.  Without it, handling and settling her estate and financial affairs was going to be difficult, time-consuming and emotionally draining.  Friends in her state had been searching for it since her death in late April. By late May, we were all beginning to wonder if, in spite of what she’d told us, the will actually existed (none of us had ever seen it).  On the Sunday before Memorial Day, I decided to ask my angels and the Universe for help and I put out a request that my mom’s will be located before the end of May, which was just four days away.  Three days later I received a call - her will was found. 

Another interesting story of synchronicity happened last month.  In mid-May I met a young woman, who had recently moved to Gainesville.  She told me she was a writer and she specifically mentioned poetry.  Wild Iris Bookstore hosts the Feminist Poetry Open Mic once a month and I told my new acquaintance about the group.  She promised to be at the next show and asked if I read my poems there.  I told her that although I attend the Open Mic and love the poetry readings, I had not written poetry in 30 years or more and that most of my poetry writing was done when I was in high school and college.  She chastised me for not writing.  “I write, though,” I objected, “Just not poetry.  I write a blog and stories and I journal.”  Those words did not satisfy her and she gave me an assignment to write a poem about the last 30+ years and read it at the next Open Mic.  I laughed to myself, thinking that I had enough pressure in my life without feeling obligated to write a poem at the command of someone I’d just met.  I did think about it though, several times, but no inspiration came to me and I pushed aside the nagging thoughts.  Over the Memorial Day weekend, when I was house and animal sitting for friends in the country and had plenty of time to relax, I again thought of her assignment, but was not inspired to write.  I asked the Universe to inspire me if writing a poem was what I should do.  Two days later, three hours before the Open Mic, the inspiration arrived and I wrote:

      
                  "I Used To Write Poetry"
   
        I used to write poetry, I said,
        Long, long ago.
        A different lifetime.
        A younger time, a time of war.
        You know,
        War creates emotion;
        Emotion creates poems,
        Back then, but not now.
        Oh, sure, we do have a war
        Now.
        But war poetry is for the young,
        And I am no longer young.
        So, she said, write of the last 35 years.

        Hmm, I thought.
        You mean,
        The time after that war,
        Before this war,
        And the one before,
        And the one before that?
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        We ended THAT war,
        The war that tore us apart.
        We swore there'd never be another,
        But there were
        Others,
        Too many others.
        We started some, ended some,
        And have one
        That lasts
        Forever.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        Cocaine was fashionable
        And then not.
        Crack was in
        And then out.
        Even heroin made a comeback,
        Just like Steven Tyler.
        Now there's meth,
        And, Red Bull.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        Disco was in,
        Then out.
        Now Barry Gibb
        and Donna Summer
        Are dead.
        Just like disco.
        Country was in,
        Then not.
        They say
        The Rhinestone Cowboy
        Lives in Tokyo now
        And sometimes visits and
        Dances on the streets of Manhattan.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        Oh, yeah,
        We were attacked!
        How dare they!
        We were frightened.
        Not us!
        We were vengeful.
        So American!
        We fought back
        Well, we fought someone,
        Maybe not the right someone,
        But someone.
        We have to fight someone,
        To regain our dignity.
        Now we have a war that never ends,
        And it may not be the right war,
        But is is OUR war, dammit!
        The war to regain our dignity.
        Hmm, what happened over those 35 years?

        We got rich and then very poor,
        And we got sad,
        Then very mad.
        We came together,
        To be torn apart by
        Politicians and
        Policemen,
        Like Ohio State,
        Berkeley,
        The Summer of Love.
        But, now its Zuccoti Park
        Times Square
        And San Diego.
        And, and. . .

        Funny, not that much has changed,
        After all,
        In 35 years.
        And, I guess,
        After all,
        You don't have to be young
        To write of war.
        But, you do have to be young
        To fight a war.
        That has not changed.
        35 years, 35 YEARS!
        And, sadly,
        Nothing much has changed.


Oddly, my new friend did not come to the Open Mic, so she missed hearing my poem.  We had become Facebook friends so I sent the poem to her in a Facebook message, but she has not responded.  In fact, she has not posted anything on Facebook since the week we met.  Maybe I will encounter her again or maybe not.  Perhaps, she appeared just to be my inspiration angel - another piece of synchronicity in this unwinding tale of manifestation. 

5/12/12 Peaceful Visualization

I’ve been spending the last week searching for peace - peace in my home, peace in my relationships and peace with the passing of my mother.  After two weeks of turmoil, life has settled down considerably, but peace continues to feel elusive.  This experience has helped me to realize how terribly important peace is to manifesting and visualizing.  When dodging emotional land mines, the meditative state that is best for visualization is difficult to access.  In fact, rest and even sleep are hard to come by.

The kind of peace that is needed is not PEACE as in world peace or even a complete lack of conflict in one’s personal life (although, both of those would be wonderful).  This peace is time free from physical, emotional and mental disturbances.  Even just a few minutes a couple of times a day may be enough.  Although I was able to get some quiet time (no noise), my mind and emotions were still very loud with their unsettlement.  I believe much of the agitation was rooted in a bone-weary tiredness from nights of restless sleep and days of unbalance.  Even as my life has calmed in the last five days, the remnants of disquietude lingered.  Today is better, but there is still healing to be done.  I remind myself that it is all a process and I must take one step at a time, allowing myself time to absorb, adjust and regroup. 

No one can overestimate the importance of personal peace.  You may run all day long with work, family and other obligations, tackling big and small problems, but if you can carve out a few moments of physical quiet, even if just before you fall asleep, and if you can access mental and emotional balance, you can reach a meditative-like state that is chatterless and ripe for visualization and manifestation. 

If I could recommend only one book for those who want to learn more about manifesting, it would be “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain.  I don’t know of  another author who so clearly and precisely explains and describes the practice of using “the power of your imagination to create what you want in life” (quoted from “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain).  Her original book was written in 1978 and was a word-of-mouth success because she so easily presents what some may find to be difficult-to-understand concepts.  She recommends doing visualizations two or three times a day - the most important times being when first awaking and just before sleeping as those are the times when our minds tend to be less busy.

Gawain recommends complete relaxation to perform a visualization.  Deep relaxation allows your brain waves to slow down, thereby becoming more receptive to any introduced thoughts or images.   Breathing very deeply and slowly may help if you have difficulty calming your mind.  When you feel comfortable, peaceful and receptive, think about what you want to create.  Imagine it in detail.  If you have difficulty producing an actual mental picture (some people are more visual than others), think of it in detailed words that describe exactly what you wish to attract, and you may even write down the words,  or use a vision board and gaze intently at photos or drawings or any other sort of representations of your desire.  Always think of your desire in the present tense.  Try to imagine yourself doing or being or having whatever it is you want.  Place yourself in the scene or in the situation.  Since I want to manifest a home in Mount Dora, I see myself walking the streets or sitting at Gilbert Park or living in a home there.  My images are detailed and I can feel and smell and even taste what living in Mount Dora would be like.  Maybe you want to manifest running a 10K race.  See yourself running the race, imagine the other racers around you and the sights that go by as you run, hear the sounds of athletic shoes hitting the pavement, smell the sweat, feel the sun on your shoulders and perspiration trickling down your neck .  Make it as real as possible.  Be part of the image.  Feel it.  Taste it.  Smell it.  Hear it.

If thoughts of disbelief or fear creep in, acknowledge them and go back to your visualization.  Trying to force away negative thoughts tends to strengthen them.  Just allow them to come and go and perhaps say “thank you” for the warning because our negative thoughts really are warnings - sometimes unnecessary, often unwanted and occasionally obsessive, but warnings nonetheless.  So, thank your mind for the warning and let the negative thought float away.  Using an affirmation to reverse the disallowing thought often helps.  In my case, if I am thinking about Mount Dora and a thought comes into my mind that I cannot afford to move there at this point in my life, I say to myself, “The Universe is providing exactly what I need when I need it to create my new home in Mount Dora.”  If affirmations do not come easily to you or if you have never even tried using affirmations, “Creative Visualizations” has several that you can use for most situations.  Also, Louise Hay, author of many inspirational books, has created hundreds of affirmations for almost any imaginable situation or illness.  Even if you have no negative thoughts, affirmations are still an important part of visualizations and Gawain recommends using them regularly in your daily practice.  Affirmations should be short in length, stated in the present tense and composed of positive words.  Say “I am getting healthier with every moment that passes”, rather than “I don’t want to be sick anymore.”  The first statement is positive and in the present, the second is negative and in the future. 

Although early morning and pre-sleep are two of the best times to visualize, any time that you can relax deeply will work.  And, even when you are not able to take a break and relax, Gawain recommends taking a few moments during your day to access what you visualized that morning or the night before.  With practice, just bringing an image of your desire into your mind, even for a few seconds, will be an automatic trigger for your body and your mind to relax.  

One of my favorite recommendations in “Creative Visualization” is to end each practice with the words “This, or something better, now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.”  So, what does that mean?  First, always leave your intent open for something better.  Our imaginations are often limited by past experiences and fears.  You may only be able to see yourself finishing that 10K race, but the Universe/God/Source sees you winning the race.  Always leave a door open for something more than you can imagine.  Also, because we may sometimes desire something that is not completely the best for us, asking that it be “totally satisfying and harmonious” allows some wiggle room for our own inability to see all sides of what we want.  And, finally, because what we wish for will inevitably affect others, we request that it should manifest in a way that is “for the highest good of all concerned”. 

Remember that you cannot manifest negative desires and you cannot manifest for someone else.  Manifesting is a spiritual practice, so your desires should be positive in nature and be seen as manifesting in positive ways.  You may be visualizing winning that 10K race but if you fear your chances are slim because of a better runner in the race, you cannot visualize your competitor leaving the race with a sprained ankle, allowing you to be the victor.  Simply imagine yourself running and winning the race and let the Universe figure out how to make that happen.  And, if you close out your visualizations with the statement above, you leave the door open for winning the race in record-setting time - something you may not have thought possible!  And, although we share our lives with others, we cannot manifest on someone else’s  behalf nor can we use them to manifest for ourselves.  For example, you may want to have more money, but you cannot successfully manifest a new job for your spouse unless your spouse also wants to manifest that job. 

Although the man in my life wants to live in Mount Dora and was completely supportive of my manifesting project, he was not actively participating.  I knew that his lack of participation was affecting me because I always imagine us both there and I cannot manifest for him.  Fortunately, he is now a willing and active participant in Manifesting Mount Dora and that, along with a little rest, will energize me to rev up my manifesting for the upcoming week. 

4/21/12 An Amazing Day

Friday I had lunch with a dear friend who has seen me through the ups and downs of many situations through many years.  I shared with her some of the challenges and stresses in my life right now and she was surprised at how well I was responding - how I was not trying to fix everything and everyone as she has seen me attempt to do in the past.  I knew that my recent reactions have been out-of-character for me - in a very good way - but having someone else confirm my own observation was encouraging. 

Today I attended the Spiritual Connections Faire held at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship here in my town.  These gatherings of psychic, card readers, intuitives, channelers, healers and vendors happen about three times a year and I have been attending for at least five years.  My yoga teacher, Shenna Benarte, is also a Medicine Card reader so I have a tradition of going to her for a reading at these fairs.  We have both chuckled over the fact that I see her nearly every week and could have a reading any time I want, and sometimes I do, but I like to continue the tradition of my readings with her at this particular fair.  If I feel inclined, I may also have a session with another reader, psychic or intuitive, but today I only visited her.  The reading revolved around many of the stressors in my life right now and the consistent advice was to back off and let everything unfold without my direct interference or control.  I should be in a loving space of support, but should not try to “fix” anything or anyone - exactly what I have been practicing for the first time in my life.  The reading confirmed that those around me have lessons to learn and the events, often negative in nature, that are occurring are obstacles for them to overcome on their paths to self-enlightenment and I just need to be a compassionate observer.  The cards also confirmed that Mount Dora is on my path and I was very uplifted by that.  To me, readings are the same as counseling - the cards help to guide and counsel without predicting the future.  Yes, the cards said Mount Dora is on my path, but I guarantee that should I waver from my path, I will never manifest a home in my favorite little town no matter what the cards said.  The confirmation that my focus is on target is comforting, though.

I also had a Reiki session with Dee Mitchell, a Reiki master, healer and teacher.  Dee is a powerful woman and she and my man have a strong bond.  When he experienced some health challenges five years ago, her Reiki greatly elevated his healing process and although he was not a believer in Reiki when he had his first session with her, he certainly is now and never misses the opportunity to experience her healing Reiki power.  I have Reiki when I feel inspired to do so and today I did.  I rose from her table feeling refreshed, energized and amazingly peaceful.  Dee even commented that my energy was very strong and positive today. 

My next session at the fair was with Gail ‘n’ Ron, a couple who used to attend the Prosperous Living meetings that I co-created and co-hosted.  They worked together using light touch, deep breathing, kinesthetic movements and affirmations to put my body in a state of relaxation deeper than I’ve ever known before.  The experience was unusual, in a good way, slightly unsettling but also very grounding and inspiring and amazingly profound.  Gail said that my crown chakra was wide open and flowing with energy.  In the past, when participating in other energy healing practices, I was always told that my crown chakra was closed or partially closed.  In case you are not aware of chakras, the first teachings of these wheel-like energy centers of the body came from Hindu texts and are also prominent in Buddhist practices.  Traditionally, there are seven major chakras, or energy centers, in the body and each one regulates certain bodily, emotional and spiritual functions, each is associated with a particular gland and with a combination of emotions.  When a chakra is blocked or closed, the functions associated with it are also closed off, resulting in physical, psychological and/or spiritual imbalances which may develop into illnesses, diseases and physical pain and discomfort as well as personal crises.  Chakras that are out of balance or blocked can be opened up using color therapies (each chakra is associated with a particular color that stimulates it), meditation, sound therapies, yoga, EFT, guided visualization, aromatherapy, affirmations, positive thinking - in other words, by practicing what also activates the Law of Attraction!  The crown chakra, my problem spot, is located at the top of your head and is associated with your brain, pineal gland and nervous systems, as well as the emotional states of peace, self-awareness, clarity and divine acceptance.  A closed crown chakra can result in depression, fear, hopelessness, confusion, apathy and spiritual weaknesses.  The crown chakra is the mother of all chakras and an open, vibrating crown chakra indicates that all the other chakras are in relatively good shape and that the person is on or is discovering his/her spiritual path.  Learning that my crown chakra is open and vibrating with energy confirmed that I am on the right path for me.  I felt energized, inspired and drained.  I know, it seems impossible to feel energized and drained at the same time, but that is exactly how I felt.  My spirit was soaring, but my body was saying it needed to rest and assimilate all the energy work it experienced at the fair.  Although I’d plan to remain at the fair longer, going home and taking a nap seemed like the best action to take. 

I spent the rest of my day allowing my body and spirit to speak to me.  Although I had a long list of tasks to complete this weekend, I chose instead to spend the evening at Wild Iris Books with my man.  I had a healthy, delicious meal at Café Colette in Wild Iris and then spent a couple of hours reading, writing and perusing the books for sale.  The energies in the café and the bookstore are healing and inspirational for me so I go there often to re-charge and to access my creativity.  My to-do list is undone, but the vibration of my crown chakra is off the charts!

Today I followed intuition and spiritual guidance and created a day that was healing and energizing.  We cannot always choose to do exactly what we want to do when we want to do it.  Life is too complicated.  We have many demands on our time, many responsibilities.  But, each of us needs a day like I experienced.  A time to nurture yourself physically, spiritually and emotionally. 

4/15/12 Getting Help

Mark Twain is attributed with this famous saying:  “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”

Basically, if you want your life to change, if you want something different or something more than you have, you need to change what you do.  Easier said than done.  We are creatures of habit and products of our environment.  We tend to follow in the foot steps of those who preceded us - usually, our parents.  My father possessed an explosive temper and in my late teens, my nickname was “Time Bomb”.  Let me get angry and someone could say “tick, tick, tick” and I would explode right on time.  My supervisor at my job when I was 19 was lobbying for me to be promoted, but he warned me that my temper was well-known and could sabotage my chances.  I considered my temper and its origins and realized I was becoming my father, at least in that aspect.  I made a conscious decision that day to hold my temper in check.  Now, anyone who knows me cannot imagine that I once displayed a nearly out-of-control temper.  Did I get the promotion?  No, but that was due to an economic decline that led to the elimination of the job.  I missed the promotion, but changed my personality. 

Sometimes we can make conscious decisions to change and we follow through successfully, sometimes we try and try and still do not succeed, sometimes we don’t even know how to initiate a change and sometimes we don’t even realize we need to change. 

First, each of us needs to be aware of who we are and how we appear to others.  We need to take inventory of our problems and decide if those issues can be corrected by changing what we do and how we behave.  If you lack friends or long-term friendships, maybe your behavior turns off people, perhaps you come across as cold and unfriendly or maybe you have a reputation for being unreliable or a gossip.  If you always struggle financially, perhaps your spending habits need to be fine-tuned or you may have a mentality of lack, always thinking of what you don’t have or what you think you can’t have.  If we are honest with ourselves, each of us can find some area of our lives that can stand improvement. 

Second, once you identify an aspect of your behavior or an area of your life that needs improvement, determine if you know how to make constructed changes that will move you in a new and better direction.  Do you already possess the knowledge and the skills to curb your temper, increase your reliability, stop a bad habit like gossiping, learn to be a better listener, handle your finances with care or change your outlook?  Whatever your identified issue or issues, figure out if you can create a plan for improvement and put it in motion to make the changes you desire.  If you can, great, get started!  If you can’t, start searching for the information and help you need.

There are scores of life coaches, therapists, books, DVD’s, CD’s, audio downloads and websites that can educate you on how to make positive changes in your life.  There are hundreds of different lessons and practices you can try - affirmations, visualizations, journaling, EFT, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, meditation, life coaching, support groups, yoga, etc.  Each modality, each approach has something to offer and some work better for some people than for others.  Try them out.  Find one or two or three that work well with your mind set, your personality and your lifestyle.  Whatever you choose must become part of your life, a regular practice.  If you try one approach and see only minor or no results, try another.  Just as all medicines do not work well for all people, neither do these types of “therapies”.  Keep looking until you find one or more that gives you the results you want, but be sure you allow enough time to evaluate a new practice.  Give it a chance to work for you before you give up on it and try something new.  In our lightening fast world, we want instant gratification and results, but changing how we think or behave is not always a fast or easy process.  Even if you are only noticing small improvements, they can mount up to a life-changing shift. 

 About six years ago, I attended my first chord cutting ceremony - a practice based on Native American and Eastern ceremonies to facilitate the breaking of our ties with unhealthy, unneeded or limiting parts of our lives and relationships - present or past.  I went because a friend attended the month before and noticed immediate and profound changes in her life.  After my first ceremony, I could not identify even the slightest change in my life, but I went back month after month and am still going several times a year.  Slowly I noticed changes.  Unlike my friend, these transformations were gradual and more subtle.  But, since I did see changes no matter how small and since the ceremonies usually left me with a feeling of peace that last for several hours and sometimes a few days, I continued participating.  Looking back, I realized that rapid changes would have been bad for me.  My life had already gone through several major upheavals and although the end results were positive, I needed some downtime to assimilate what I’d already experienced.  I desired more changes, but too much, too fast would have been overwhelming and counter-productive.  My changes came slow and steady, just as I needed.  After each ceremony, participants can discuss what they experienced and I often heard of visions, intense feelings, out-of-body type sensations, unusual sounds and the like.  It was a long time before I began experiencing anything stronger than a sense of floating.  But, again, I believe the sensations came to me as I was able to accept and appreciate them. 

Friday night, I was at a chord cutting and had the most profound emotional experience yet.  An amazing feeling of happiness and gratitude swept over me, is still hanging around and I am sure it has something to do with my Manifesting Mount Dora project.  Last week, my man and I were in Mount Dora during a weather pattern of gusty winds - some 30 to 40 miles per hour.  We sat at the end of Grantham Point Park (also known as Lighthouse Park) watching birds soar and dip in the high winds, just enjoying their ability to ride the winds as a child would a roller coaster.  During the chord cutting, with eyes closed, I felt like one of those birds - I was  undulating on the winds, feeling joyful and childlike.  Below me, I saw water (Lake Dora?) and thick canopies of trees.  Suddenly, in mid-air, a young racoon appeared before me.  He was identical to the young racoon we’d come across last week on the shores of Mount Dora.  He just floated before my face, looking impish and gleeful.  Wherever I flew, he stayed bobbing in front of me, sometimes chattering and always consumed with childlike happiness.  Those at the ceremony said I was swaying and smiling as they’d never seen me before.  Later, during our final mediation when I was reclining on my back on the floor, the racoon appeared again; this time sitting on my chest with his smiling face just above mine.  I left the ceremony feeling airy, hopeful, and intensely happy.  All weekend, even during some stressful or annoying moments, I was able to access that same feeling of joy. 

Had I immediately given up after my first chord cutting with its less than notable results, I would never have had the experiences and sensations that have gradually come to me.  I am so grateful for my introduction to chord cutting ceremonies and I unerringly know that I am a better and a freer person for all the ceremonies I’ve attended.  I made a choice to do something different so I would get something different than I’d always got, to paraphrase Mr. Twain. 

Color outside the lines - step beyond the boundaries, real or imagined, that fence in your life - fly a little - run instead of walk - skip when no one is looking and then when everyone is looking - swirl the water around you and disperse the stagnation - feel the breeze on your face - just do something different and see what becomes of it.  You may be surprised.  

 

4-11-12 The Company You Keep

Negativity is contagious.  Surround yourself with negative people - people who find fault, complain, dramatize, whine - and you certainly will find yourself being more like them, unless you learn how to protect yourself from their influence.  It is best if you can simply limit your association with negative people, but that is not always possible.

In my “other life”, when I was unhappy in my marriage, most of my friends were women who were also dissatisfied with their marriages/relationships.  And, our discontentment overflowed to other areas of our lives resulting in displeasure with our co-workers, other friends, neighbors and even children.  Our favorite times together were spent complaining about our partners and just about everyone else in our lives.  Discontentment with one aspect of our lives tends to sour all aspects of our lives.  And, when we are unhappy, we seek the company of others who are also unhappy.  Like attracts like.

When my life changed and I became happier, I found the company of my friends to be uncomfortable.  At first, I could not understand why.  These were my good friends, for heaven’s sakes.  Our relationships were long-term and we shared so much over the years.  I noticed that they were critical of my new relationships and my improved life although I was happier than I had been in many years.  Rather than being happy for me, they were disapproving and, I later discovered, were talking negatively about me behind my back.  Even when the changes in my life were not the topic of conversation, I was uneasy being around their constant complaining and negative comments concerning other people and other situations.  I began seeing how stifling and unproductive those conversations were.  Although we were definitely drifting apart, I was not ready to give up on my “friends”.   Over a year passed before their negative attitudes toward me took their toll and I finally severed the relationships as much as I could.  Because I worked with some of these former friends, total separation was not possible.  When my friendships with those co-workers cooled, I became under attack for minor things concerning our jobs.  I felt like I could not talk about anything in front of any of them without drawing derision.

The breakup with my friends occurred about the time I started learning about the Law of Attraction and it granted me my first chance to put the Law to work.  I chose to disregard them in every way possible except for the work-related conversations that were necessary.  I ignored their conversations completely, not allowing myself to be drawn into or influenced by their negativity or by their offhanded and rude comments about me that were purposely said loud enough for me to overhear.  It was very difficult to close my ears to the words that swirled around me.  I often played music quietly at my desk to drown out their voices.  When someone purposely tried to engage me in a negative and unnecessary conversation or when someone confronted me personally, I did not respond;  I just kept working or left the room.  I printed a copy of the Optimist’s Code and taped it to the side of my printer where I could see it easily and when I struggled to hold my temper and my tongue, I would read it silently to myself, over and over.  Determinedly, I worked to keep positive thoughts in my mind.  Little by little, my efforts to be positive became second nature.  As I participated less and reacted less, the negative comments my former friends aimed at me became fewer and fewer.   After awhile, I did not even hear their conversations anymore.  A workplace that felt hostile for several months became neutral.  Even when I heard or learned about some mean comments made about me, I no longer cared.  I could just smile, shake my head and walk away. 

As these negative people and influences left my life, the emptiness I was feeling for those lost friendships, even if they were not healthy ones, was filled by new friends - positive, encouraging, uplifting friends.  New people came into my life from all directions and I was amazed to have friends that were basically happy people who encouraged happiness in me.  Like attracts like.  Before long, I could look at my former friends and wonder why I was ever friends with them!  Of course, I was a different person when we were friends and they served a need in my life at that time.  I have learned to be thankful for what I learned from them and from our relationships.  We learn from our negative experiences as well as our positive ones and sometimes the negative ones are our best teachers. 

I cannot ignore an even earlier negative influence in my life - my former husband.  When I met him he was suffering from depression - most recently caused by an earlier divorce and loss of contact with his daughter.  However, I believe his depression started much earlier - in his childhood - when he was forced to deal with parental rejection from his father and his step-father.  He was like a sad little boy and my people-pleasing tendencies encouraged me to love him and heal him.  I just knew I could love his problems away.  I could make him happy and help him forget all the bad experiences in his life.  Sounds like a god complex, doesn’t it?  Did I really think I had that much power?  Honestly, I think people-pleasers have less of a god-complex than a responsibility complex.  We feel we are responsible for the well-being of everyone in our lives and because we have so much experience “fixing” other people, we take on more and more challenging cases.  My husband was a very challenging case and for 28 years I tried to make him well, make him happy, make him whole, and it did not work.  I just made myself unhealthy, unhappy and incomplete.  Not only did I wear myself out trying to “fix” him but I absorbed his negativity.  I, who was once nicknamed Pollyanna for my sunny outlook on life, became a terribly pessimistic and hopeless person.  Since I’d already experienced some depression in my youth, my mostly cheery disposition was no contest for his brooding personality, so my positivity was converted to negativity.  Once I was as negative as he was, only an extreme life change could save me and, fortunately, adopting my daughter was extreme enough to do that.

As hard as it is to accept, to save ourselves we sometimes have to leave the ones we may love but who are not good for us - the ones who do not bring light and love into our lives, who immerse us in negativity and criticism; the ones who no not how to be encouraging, uplifting or inspiring.  But what if you cannot leave them?  What if your negative albatross is your parent or a sibling or your child?  What if physical distance is not an option?

If total separation is not possible, limited exposure may be an option.  Search for ways to limit contact with the person.  Find distractions, as I did with music at my desk, that create a barrier between you and the person.  Before being in contact with the person, repeat positive affirmations like “I attract only positive people and experiences into my life”, “My cheerful disposition changes negativity into positivity” and “I control my thoughts and only allow positive, happy ones to enter my mind no matter what influences surround me”; see yourself surrounded in white light and ask for protection from the other person’s negativity; imagine the other person surrounded in white light and ask that any negativity he or she may be holding be dispersed before contact is made; imagine a wall of light between you and the person; imagine yourself in a bubble that gives you protection from all negativity; give thanks for the positive influence you will have on that person and every person with whom you will have contact that day.   At first, these practices are difficult to incorporate into your daily life, but with practice they become easier.  And, as you withstand the negativity of others, allowing your positivity to grow, you will naturally move in a different direction that may allow you to distance yourself further from the negative person or persons and your life will be blessed with new, happy, life-affirming people. 

Trying to manifest anything requires as much positive energy as you can possibly drum up, so limiting  your exposure to negative energy in your world is extremely important.  Even if you have very little control over your daily influences (If you are a law enforcement officer or a soldier, for example, you may constantly be in negative situations that you cannot change), you can make choices to erase the negativity that has clung onto you.  Once you leave your job, for example, listen to soothing, peaceful music - not heavy metal or rap music that has a strong negative undertone; take a warm shower and imagine all the negativity washing down the drain; practice meditation or yoga or tai chi or one of the other calming disciplines; exercise; put all of your attention into something creative that inspires you and pushes away your thoughts of the day; spend time in nature or with children; read positive literature; practice affirmations.  These are just a few of activities that can help neutralize negativity.

I have recently been exposed to some negativity that I hope is only temporary, but, for now, it is imperative that I search for ways to avoid or wash away the negativity if I want to manifest my new home and life in Mount Dora (or anything else, for that matter).  When confronted with negative comments, I choose to ignore them or respond passively whenever possible.  Not allowing myself to take everything personally helps.  We tend to think that someone’s bad mood is directed at us or, maybe, even caused by us.  A sharp tone of voice, a rude comment and we get hurt and annoyed - at least, I know that is my tendency.  I am learning to assume that it is NOT my fault that someone else is surly.  Choose not to accept the responsibility for other people’s moods.  Sometimes when I am exposed to another’s rants or complaints, especially someone who thinks I should agree or at least sympathize with his/her point of view, I just nod and think of something pleasant during the emotional dumping and when it has ended, I say something non-committal like “Wow, that’s too bad” or “Sorry to hear that” or “I know how you feel”.  People just want to let loose, to be heard and it is really not necessary to engage yourself in a conversation over whatever the issue may be.  Usually, a nod, a sympathetic smile and a standard I-understand-you phrase is enough.  I also practice some of the other suggestions I had in the previous paragraph.  It is my hope that this negativity will subside and I only need to tread water until that happens.  We all experience periods of negativity in our lives - whether personally or through others - and usually those times are temporary.  We do need to be sympathetic to the problems of others and treat ourselves kindly when we undergo bad times.  It is the never-ending, never-healing negativity that drags us down, saps our energy and destroys our dreams.