Life is a Labyrinth

Nearly every month my man and I attend a crystal bowl concert/meditation at a local church.  Crystal bowls, also called singing bowls, are bowls of various sizes, but all larger than a typical dinner bowl, made of quartz crystal.  The quartz crystal is extremely resonant, producing lovely, harmonic sounds that you not only hear, but feel throughout your body.  The size and shape of a bowl determines its pitch.  Most bowls sit on the floor or on stands, but some are handheld, allowing the bowl musician to move around a room bringing the intense sounds close to those in attendance.  Crystal bowl concerts are performed for meditation purposes, to ease stress and to balance chakras.  Being present at a crystal bowl concert is a phenomenal experience.  The sounds are simultaneously soothing and vibrant.



At the concerts we attend, people choose to sit in the church seats or ample space is provided for people to lay down, often on yoga mats or blankets where they can rest, meditate and even sleep.  We both leave the monthly concerts feeling calm, centered and relaxed.  Once or twice a year, the church also has a labyrinth set up in the sanctuary.  The labyrinth is used as a walking meditation in conjunction with the crystal bowl concert.  Tonight’s concert included the labyrinth.

A labyrinth is an intricate design of paths that often flow in a circular pattern eventually leading to a center spot, much like a maze.  A walking meditation labyrinth may be a mat made of some sort of fabric that is placed on a large floor, such as a church sanctuary, or it can be a temporary design made of sand or stones in a courtyard.  People follow the paths of the labyrinth, while meditating or praying, until reaching the center where the participants often kneel or stand silently in prayer or meditation.  Sometimes the participants will follow the path from the center back out to the beginning of the labyrinth.  Tonight, as I followed the path of the labyrinth, I contemplated how those circular paths were so much like life.



I prefer linear paths.  Point A leads to Point B in a nice straight line, no detours, no curves, no surprises.  But, life is not linear.  From time to time, we may feel as if we are moving on a straight line, but rarely does that experience last for long.  Life has a way of taking our straight lines and making them elaborate circles, twisting and turning and coming back around as if starting at the beginning again.  Life is a labyrinth.

As I was walking the circular paths tonight, I noticed that a man who started the labyrinth several minutes ahead of me was often walking on a path just inches from my side and the woman who started the walking meditation just seconds in front of me was often on the other side of the labyrinth, as if she had begun long before me or long after me.  Isn't that the way our lives are?  We start off with people, like a sibling, a friend, a partner or spouse, a classmate or a fellow worker, just a little ahead of us or just slightly behind, but as we travel our paths we appear to go in different directions even when traveling the same route.  We are sometimes side-by-side and sometimes distances apart.  At times we may appear to be on a completely different road and other times we nearly bump into each other along our travels.

I noticed that some of the people walking the labyrinth took small, slow steps, while others walked a little faster.  Some paused often to contemplate, while others never stopped until reaching the center.  In life, I've noticed the same.  I started off on the same path as others in my life, but some us often took lengthy pauses and others seemed to rarely pause for more than a moment. Some moved forward slowly, while others reached their goals more quickly.  Some walk softly, some with more determination and some nearly danced.

But, no matter who walks the labyrinth or the journey of life, we each have a circular path.  No one’s journey is a straight line for very long.  Life takes curves.  We are moving straight ahead toward a goal and then there is a curve - one we may have seen coming or one that  takes us by surprise.  The curve turns us back around until we feel like we are starting over, though we never are because we are always moving forward.  Maybe you experience a curve on your path to a career or an educational goal and you find yourself pausing to have a family, to care for someone in need, to grieve a loss, to deal with an illness or a problem, or just to relax, rejuvenate and regroup.  Eventually, you will get around the curve and start in a straight line again, although the goal you are seeking may have changed during the pause.

Life is fits and starts and slow downs and forward races.  It is steady ahead and watch out around the curve.  It is this way, then that way and then back around again.  But, no matter what, life is always forward motion, even when it feels like its not.

Tonight, I noticed that I often appeared to be further from the center of the labyrinth when I was actually nearest and I sometimes was right by the center, just inches away, but I actually had a long way to go on the path until I would truly reach the center.  Life, too, can trick us with illusions.  Our goal may seem terribly far away when the distance to get there is really short or our goal may seem right there, just in front, inches from our noses when, in actuality, our journey has just begun.

This weekend, Mount Dora felt very far away.  I felt like I may never reach my goal of living there and, truthfully, I may not.  I have no idea where my feet are on that journey.  Maybe I am close or maybe not.  Maybe I will reach that goal of living in Mount Dora or maybe I will head around a curve, slow down and realize I was never actually headed there in the first place.  Maybe Mount Dora with be along my path, but I doubt if it will be the final destination of my path.  I will keep circling around, sometimes, moving slow, sometimes speeding up.  I will take the turns and the pauses and sometimes feel like forward motion has stopped.  Then, I will hit a long, straight stretch and the wind will blow through my hair as I race forward feeling triumphant in my progress.  But, no matter how or where I travel, whether the road is straight or curvy, whether my feet are plodding slowly, dancing lightly or racing with the wind at my back, I will make my journey, as you will also, one step at a time, just one step at a time.  

6/13/12 Hosting The Angels

A few weeks ago, I attended a class that my yoga instructor was teaching about angels. My previous experiences with organized religions left me reluctant to accept belief in any of the entities that crossover between the teachings of Christian denominations and some of the other spiritual beliefs and practices that I am learning.  I honestly don't know if angels exist, but I want them to and I like the idea of angelic beings who provide spiritual guidance. Since the idea of angels has sparked an interest to know more, I joined the Angel Chatter group on Facebook a few months ago and have been reading about angels.  In the class I learned different theories and ideas about angels and about what purposes they have.  Other class attendees shared interesting stories about angelic interactions in their lives and I left feeling that I lean more to them existing than not. I also left the class agreeing to "Host the Angels" in my home.

Hosting the angels is a spiritual practice that my yoga instructor learned from her friends in New York.  Someone who is currently hosting the angels passes them on to three other people (Sounds a little like those old chain letters, doesn't it?).  The angels reside with each person/family for 5 days and are then passed on to three more people.  They travel and rest for five days and then arrive at the homes of their new hosts.  To host the angels you write down three wishes and put the paper in a sealed envelope, you find three more people who are willing to host the angels after you and write their names and addresses on another sheet of paper and place it in an envelope, and you prepare an altar consisting of the two envelopes, a white candle, an apple and a white flower, bouquet of white flowers or live plant with white flowers. The angels arrive at 10:30 PM on the designated day, which is five days after they left the last host, and you greet them by opening your door and reading a welcoming statement.  They reside with you for five days and leave at 10:30 PM on the last day.  There is a small good-bye ceremony that consists of opening your door, thanking them for visiting and for granting your three wishes (this is done with the belief that the wishes will be granted), reading the names of the next three hosts, then burning your envelopes and eating the apple.  

I have no idea how this hosting practice started or why.  A Google search revealed that there are various angel hosting traditions that vary in the number of days the angels stay and what, if anything, needs to be done to welcome them or to prepare an altar.  Some of the other hosting practices sound easier with little or nothing to be done or to prepare, but I like the idea of the altar and the preparation and ceremony involved - maybe that is my old Catholic upbringing, but there is something soothing, grounding and peaceful about a spiritual practice whether it is preparing an altar, meditating, chanting, or any other such ceremony.  Others had more specific and detailed instructions, such as what types of wishes you can request (one for Mother Earth, one personal and one for your family), how to write and word your wishes, when and how long to burn the white candle and one even said that your house must be clean and tidy.  I like that the hosting I did had some instruction and ceremony, but not too much, allowing for some personal expression and not making the process too rigid or complicated.  One angel hosting I read about named specific angels who come to visit:  Archangels Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel and Metatron. I don't know who visits but any angel is welcome!  

I enjoyed my experience of hosting the angels. Each morning I lit the candle and sounded my Tibetan Singing Bowl, a personal touch I added, and wrote in my journal.  The candle stayed lit during the day as long as it was safe to do so and someone was around to watch it (the candle can be replaced with an electrical or battery-powered white light if you prefer).  This version of the hosting ceremony does not require any daily practice other than using the candle or light, but adding some of your own favorite practices makes the experience more personal.  If you pray, chant, journal or meditate, doing so near the altar seems to intensify the practice.  I truly felt my home was more peaceful during the five days I hosted the angels and when I passed them on to the next three people, I felt a little sad as if a good friend had come to visit and then left.  

Most people are interested in hosting the angels for the benefit of the three wishes.  My yoga teacher said one of her three wishes was granted soon after the angels left her home. One of my wishes was very specific and I asked that it be granted by a certain date. Until asking for the angels' assistance, I had no hope that this wish would come to pass at all and certainly not by that date.  Two days after the angels' departure what I wanted came to pass.  Did the angels grant it or would the same thing have happened if I had not hosted the angels?  Who knows?  Now, I wait patiently for my other two wishes - one of which was not time limited and which I think is slowly being realized and the other which has a time limit several months in the future and which has not been granted as of yet.  

My partner, who is a skeptic at heart and veers away from anything very spiritual in nature, also felt a difference while I was hosting the angels and liked the atmosphere in our home during those five days.  He ended up hosting the angels himself and now I am hosting them for a second time.  

All of this might be hokey hogwash.  Anything I felt or thought I felt might have been my imagination.  The wish that came true may have come true anyway.  I cannot say that any of those statements are untrue and I really don't care.  I ENJOYED the practice.  I FEEL better for having hosted the angels. That's all I need and all I want. After all, do any of us truly KNOW what is out there in the Universe?  Do any of us truly understand why or how we and this world came into existence?  We may BELIEVE many things or nothing, but what do we KNOW, truly KNOW?  I know what I feel, what I experience.  I cannot confirm or deny what you feel and experience and you cannot deny my feelings or experiences.  This life we each live is personal and we relate to one another through our personal experiences and understandings. 

One of my wishes, as you may have guessed, was about manifesting my retirement and my new home in Mount Dora.  I believe that manifestation is my responsibility, but I will accept the help of any angels who want to assist me!  Let's see what happens. . . 

5/19/12 My Week of Self-Care

I have not written in seven days and greatly missed my blog time, but knew I needed to chill and take care of myself.  Some of April and all of May were tumultuous and my body was feeling the strain - sleep was hit-and-miss, my upper back and neck were tight with pain, nearly every part of my body was achy and uncomfortable and exhaustion was my state of being. 

In an effort to feel less stressed, more balanced and rested, I treated myself to a Reiki session with Shenna Benarte Tuesday evening and a massage with Gina Englert Thursday evening.  Gina and I also had a lovely girls’ night out after my massage and dined at Café Colette in the Wild Iris Bookstore, eating wild mushrooms and tropical salads.  We even, unexpectedly, ran into each other the next day and enjoyed lunching together at Tempo Bistro to Go, where my man and I had eaten a delicious meal on Wednesday evening.  This morning, he and I had a scrumptious breakfast at Sisters in the Haile Village and bought many luscious veggies and fruits and a bag of intensely strong coffee at the Haile Farmer’s Market.  My diet is often not the best.  Even though vegetarian, I don’t always make the healthiest food choices and often eat on-the-go or while doing something else.  But, this week I ate several tasty, healthy, mindful meals filled with fresh, local and often organic ingredients and my body feels grateful.

I made some purchases that also helped with my week of self-care.  One was a Tibetan Singing Bowl.  The bowl became my possession through synchronicity.  At the 2011 Gainesville Fall Art Festival, there was a Tibetan Singing Bowl at a booth.  I had wanted one for a long time, but most of my cash was gone and to buy the bowl I needed to go to an ATM, etc.  Feeling tired and not wanting to be bothered at the time, I passed up the opportunity to buy the bowl.  Several times since then, I have regretted not buying it and even thought recently about how helpful the bowl might have been during the past weeks of stress.  This morning, the same woman had a booth at the Haile Farmer’s Market and she again had one Tibetan Singing Bowl.  I did not even notice her or her booth, but my man did.  Once I realized who she was, my eyes searched her booth for a Singing Bowl, but sadly did not find one.  When she recalled who we were and that I was interested in a Singing Bowl at the art festival, she pulled several items out of a bowl on her table.  The bowl had been hidden by the items it held, so I did not notice it was a Tibetan Singing Bowl.  Again, my cash was mostly gone, but this time I made the effort to find an ATM and brought home my lovely Tibetan Singing Bowl.  When I finally get to my mom’s house and bring home the items she bequeathed me, one will be a small, round marble-top table that she knew I always admired.  My Tibetan Singing Bowl will live happily and beautfully in the center of that table.   

Another self-care purchase was a book called “Living Peace” by John Dear, which caught my eye when I was in a large, national bookstore in search of another publication that the local booksellers did not have (the big-box bookstore also did not have it).  I put the book back on the shelf after perusing it because the writing seemed too “religious” to me.  The author is a Jesuit priest and the book relies heavily on biblical references that triggered my old “don’t mention God and the Bible to me” reaction.  Sometimes I forget that I have evolved to the point of accepting and appreciating various spiritual paths and I fall back into patterns of exclusion.  I continued walking around the store, but was drawn back to the book time and again until I finally shook off my old thinking and purchased it.  The book is inspiring, simply and beautifully written and has helped me focus on peace in my life. 

The third self-care purchase was a CD - “Stress Reduction & Creative Meditations” by Marc Allen.  I believe in meditation and I try to practice it, but have limited success.  The most I can accomplish is short, simple meditations.  I have more luck with guided meditations and possess several CDs using various methods of guided meditations.  Some did not work at all for me and some were, at times, partially successful, but none led me to a state of true relaxation.  As the book had, this CD caught my eye.  I was determined to just walk by and not spend more money on another meditation CD that would not help me when I saw the words “With an Introduction by Shakti Gawain”.  Shakti Gawain wrote my favorite book on manifesting, “Creative Visualization”, which I wrote about in my last post.  If she was willing to record an introduction to that meditation CD, I was willing to give it a try.  I often suffer from insomnia - have difficulty getting to sleep or wake up and am unable to return to sleep.  I am not proud to say that I often rely on three (yes, three!) Advil PM tablets to help me get some much-needed rest.  My insomnia comes and goes, but has been relentless during the last few stressful weeks.  I used the CD Wednesday night and was amazed - no, shocked - at how relaxed I became.  Within seconds of the last sound on the recording, I was asleep.  I used it again last night with the same result.  Not only does it help me relax enough to fall asleep, I sleep soundly and wake up early feeling refreshed. 

My week is coming to a close and I can honestly say I feel like a different person than I did seven days ago.  My body feels like my friend, rather than my enemy.  I am relatively and suprisingly relaxed.  I feel optimistic, happy and even peaceful.  I am once again able to visualize, and Manifesting Mount Dora feels not only doable, but imminent.