Living Life As It Is

Last week, at this time, my man and I were in Mount Dora.  So was Tropical Storm Isaac.  That seems to be the theme of the summer, we escape for rest and relaxation and are accompanied by a tropical storm.  It happened in May with Tropical Storm Beryl, in June with Debby and last week with Isaac.  Fortunately, we stayed safe and still had a good time and our home and family, who also were in the path of the three storms, suffered no ill effects of the unpredictable weather.  


Being in Mount Dora, as always, was restorative.  Much rest, walks in the rain or between the rains, lots of reading, some writing, naps, visits with people we have come to know in our favorite town and the pleasure of meeting other residents, and many good meals.  Good times can be had even in threatening weather.  We discovered a book store called Barrel of Books and Games where I purchased some gifts for my grandchildren and several books, including a three-book series of novels that take place in Mount Dora called the Fairlawn Series by Angela Hunt.  Last night, having completed a wonderful novel about people and dogs living near Central Park in Manhattan (another of my favorite places) called “The New Yorkers”, I started the first in the Fairlawn series, “Doesn’t She Look Natural?”  I am enjoying the story very much in spite of the slight “Christian” side-theme, which is present but not preachy.  The story is not unusual: husband has mid-life crisis leaving his wife and two sons for their nanny, who is, of course, a fraction of his age.  Mom is left struggling financially, forced to sell their home and move in with her retired mother, searching for a job in Washington, D.C. while hindered by her powerful husband’s influence there, and trying to remain hopeful about the future as she assumes almost full responsibility for raising their two sons.  I have just reached the part when Mount Dora enters the picture.  Mom inherits, from an barely-known great-uncle, a funeral home in Mount Dora and will end up moving her children there to assume management of a business about which she knows nothing.  I am looking forward to seeing how Mount Dora is portrayed in the book - favorably, I am sure, since the book is sold and promoted in the town!  I like the idea of the unknown business challenge and am interested in seeing how mom and boys adjust to their new lives in Mount Dora, so far-removed and so immensely different than their lifestyle and  experiences in the D.C. area.

My Labor Day weekend plans to finish painting the table and chairs I purchased for my grandchildren back in July were pushed aside when my client, who has closed his business but still needs me to work for him until the end of the year, decided that he does not want to keep his office available as a place for me to work and asked me to transfer his bookkeeping records, computer and printer and some office supplies to my house.  Since my house is overflowing with three adults and two children living here full-time and two other family members staying for weeks at a time several times a year, it was a challenge to make room for more stuff.  But, because he was not only a good client but also a friend, I did my best to accommodate his wishes.  More rearranging, more organizing, but I think I made it work.  Waiting now for my computer-expert friend to come by and tweak what I started, but I am confident we can make the situation satisfactory.  

On Thursday, I leave for a women-only retreat called Expanding Past The Fear at an ocean resort in the Florida Panhandle.  I am excited to be part of this event.  Not only will it involve lots of self-care, but we will work through our fears - fears that may be holding us back from who we should be and what we should be doing.  I believe that we are all a work-in-progress and anything we can do to improve who we are and where we are furthers us on our path to prosperity and personal fulfillment.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of this retreat!

Life continues even when you have a manifestation project.  You cannot stop living, nor should you, to concentrate on what you want to create in the future.  I know people who put their current lives on hold to while away the hours dreaming of what they want the future to hold.  Life is about energy and energy is about action.  Action is in the present, the now.  Work must be done, bills paid, food prepared, lawns mowed, clothes washed, children hugged, school lessons learned, floors swept, bodies showered, books read.  Our actions must naturally revolve around what creates and maintains the life we are living right now, but we also should carve out time for what we want to manifest.  Just a little time.  Some meditation, some visualization every day.  Some journaling is good and for me, blogging.  For whatever it is you want to manifest, set aside a little time everyday, even if no more than fifteen minutes, to keep your dream alive and fresh.  Embrace and participate in the life you have now, even if your desire is to create a new, different life.  Appreciate what you have now to energize what you want in the future.

5/19/12 My Week of Self-Care

I have not written in seven days and greatly missed my blog time, but knew I needed to chill and take care of myself.  Some of April and all of May were tumultuous and my body was feeling the strain - sleep was hit-and-miss, my upper back and neck were tight with pain, nearly every part of my body was achy and uncomfortable and exhaustion was my state of being. 

In an effort to feel less stressed, more balanced and rested, I treated myself to a Reiki session with Shenna Benarte Tuesday evening and a massage with Gina Englert Thursday evening.  Gina and I also had a lovely girls’ night out after my massage and dined at Café Colette in the Wild Iris Bookstore, eating wild mushrooms and tropical salads.  We even, unexpectedly, ran into each other the next day and enjoyed lunching together at Tempo Bistro to Go, where my man and I had eaten a delicious meal on Wednesday evening.  This morning, he and I had a scrumptious breakfast at Sisters in the Haile Village and bought many luscious veggies and fruits and a bag of intensely strong coffee at the Haile Farmer’s Market.  My diet is often not the best.  Even though vegetarian, I don’t always make the healthiest food choices and often eat on-the-go or while doing something else.  But, this week I ate several tasty, healthy, mindful meals filled with fresh, local and often organic ingredients and my body feels grateful.

I made some purchases that also helped with my week of self-care.  One was a Tibetan Singing Bowl.  The bowl became my possession through synchronicity.  At the 2011 Gainesville Fall Art Festival, there was a Tibetan Singing Bowl at a booth.  I had wanted one for a long time, but most of my cash was gone and to buy the bowl I needed to go to an ATM, etc.  Feeling tired and not wanting to be bothered at the time, I passed up the opportunity to buy the bowl.  Several times since then, I have regretted not buying it and even thought recently about how helpful the bowl might have been during the past weeks of stress.  This morning, the same woman had a booth at the Haile Farmer’s Market and she again had one Tibetan Singing Bowl.  I did not even notice her or her booth, but my man did.  Once I realized who she was, my eyes searched her booth for a Singing Bowl, but sadly did not find one.  When she recalled who we were and that I was interested in a Singing Bowl at the art festival, she pulled several items out of a bowl on her table.  The bowl had been hidden by the items it held, so I did not notice it was a Tibetan Singing Bowl.  Again, my cash was mostly gone, but this time I made the effort to find an ATM and brought home my lovely Tibetan Singing Bowl.  When I finally get to my mom’s house and bring home the items she bequeathed me, one will be a small, round marble-top table that she knew I always admired.  My Tibetan Singing Bowl will live happily and beautfully in the center of that table.   

Another self-care purchase was a book called “Living Peace” by John Dear, which caught my eye when I was in a large, national bookstore in search of another publication that the local booksellers did not have (the big-box bookstore also did not have it).  I put the book back on the shelf after perusing it because the writing seemed too “religious” to me.  The author is a Jesuit priest and the book relies heavily on biblical references that triggered my old “don’t mention God and the Bible to me” reaction.  Sometimes I forget that I have evolved to the point of accepting and appreciating various spiritual paths and I fall back into patterns of exclusion.  I continued walking around the store, but was drawn back to the book time and again until I finally shook off my old thinking and purchased it.  The book is inspiring, simply and beautifully written and has helped me focus on peace in my life. 

The third self-care purchase was a CD - “Stress Reduction & Creative Meditations” by Marc Allen.  I believe in meditation and I try to practice it, but have limited success.  The most I can accomplish is short, simple meditations.  I have more luck with guided meditations and possess several CDs using various methods of guided meditations.  Some did not work at all for me and some were, at times, partially successful, but none led me to a state of true relaxation.  As the book had, this CD caught my eye.  I was determined to just walk by and not spend more money on another meditation CD that would not help me when I saw the words “With an Introduction by Shakti Gawain”.  Shakti Gawain wrote my favorite book on manifesting, “Creative Visualization”, which I wrote about in my last post.  If she was willing to record an introduction to that meditation CD, I was willing to give it a try.  I often suffer from insomnia - have difficulty getting to sleep or wake up and am unable to return to sleep.  I am not proud to say that I often rely on three (yes, three!) Advil PM tablets to help me get some much-needed rest.  My insomnia comes and goes, but has been relentless during the last few stressful weeks.  I used the CD Wednesday night and was amazed - no, shocked - at how relaxed I became.  Within seconds of the last sound on the recording, I was asleep.  I used it again last night with the same result.  Not only does it help me relax enough to fall asleep, I sleep soundly and wake up early feeling refreshed. 

My week is coming to a close and I can honestly say I feel like a different person than I did seven days ago.  My body feels like my friend, rather than my enemy.  I am relatively and suprisingly relaxed.  I feel optimistic, happy and even peaceful.  I am once again able to visualize, and Manifesting Mount Dora feels not only doable, but imminent. 

5/12/12 Peaceful Visualization

I’ve been spending the last week searching for peace - peace in my home, peace in my relationships and peace with the passing of my mother.  After two weeks of turmoil, life has settled down considerably, but peace continues to feel elusive.  This experience has helped me to realize how terribly important peace is to manifesting and visualizing.  When dodging emotional land mines, the meditative state that is best for visualization is difficult to access.  In fact, rest and even sleep are hard to come by.

The kind of peace that is needed is not PEACE as in world peace or even a complete lack of conflict in one’s personal life (although, both of those would be wonderful).  This peace is time free from physical, emotional and mental disturbances.  Even just a few minutes a couple of times a day may be enough.  Although I was able to get some quiet time (no noise), my mind and emotions were still very loud with their unsettlement.  I believe much of the agitation was rooted in a bone-weary tiredness from nights of restless sleep and days of unbalance.  Even as my life has calmed in the last five days, the remnants of disquietude lingered.  Today is better, but there is still healing to be done.  I remind myself that it is all a process and I must take one step at a time, allowing myself time to absorb, adjust and regroup. 

No one can overestimate the importance of personal peace.  You may run all day long with work, family and other obligations, tackling big and small problems, but if you can carve out a few moments of physical quiet, even if just before you fall asleep, and if you can access mental and emotional balance, you can reach a meditative-like state that is chatterless and ripe for visualization and manifestation. 

If I could recommend only one book for those who want to learn more about manifesting, it would be “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain.  I don’t know of  another author who so clearly and precisely explains and describes the practice of using “the power of your imagination to create what you want in life” (quoted from “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain).  Her original book was written in 1978 and was a word-of-mouth success because she so easily presents what some may find to be difficult-to-understand concepts.  She recommends doing visualizations two or three times a day - the most important times being when first awaking and just before sleeping as those are the times when our minds tend to be less busy.

Gawain recommends complete relaxation to perform a visualization.  Deep relaxation allows your brain waves to slow down, thereby becoming more receptive to any introduced thoughts or images.   Breathing very deeply and slowly may help if you have difficulty calming your mind.  When you feel comfortable, peaceful and receptive, think about what you want to create.  Imagine it in detail.  If you have difficulty producing an actual mental picture (some people are more visual than others), think of it in detailed words that describe exactly what you wish to attract, and you may even write down the words,  or use a vision board and gaze intently at photos or drawings or any other sort of representations of your desire.  Always think of your desire in the present tense.  Try to imagine yourself doing or being or having whatever it is you want.  Place yourself in the scene or in the situation.  Since I want to manifest a home in Mount Dora, I see myself walking the streets or sitting at Gilbert Park or living in a home there.  My images are detailed and I can feel and smell and even taste what living in Mount Dora would be like.  Maybe you want to manifest running a 10K race.  See yourself running the race, imagine the other racers around you and the sights that go by as you run, hear the sounds of athletic shoes hitting the pavement, smell the sweat, feel the sun on your shoulders and perspiration trickling down your neck .  Make it as real as possible.  Be part of the image.  Feel it.  Taste it.  Smell it.  Hear it.

If thoughts of disbelief or fear creep in, acknowledge them and go back to your visualization.  Trying to force away negative thoughts tends to strengthen them.  Just allow them to come and go and perhaps say “thank you” for the warning because our negative thoughts really are warnings - sometimes unnecessary, often unwanted and occasionally obsessive, but warnings nonetheless.  So, thank your mind for the warning and let the negative thought float away.  Using an affirmation to reverse the disallowing thought often helps.  In my case, if I am thinking about Mount Dora and a thought comes into my mind that I cannot afford to move there at this point in my life, I say to myself, “The Universe is providing exactly what I need when I need it to create my new home in Mount Dora.”  If affirmations do not come easily to you or if you have never even tried using affirmations, “Creative Visualizations” has several that you can use for most situations.  Also, Louise Hay, author of many inspirational books, has created hundreds of affirmations for almost any imaginable situation or illness.  Even if you have no negative thoughts, affirmations are still an important part of visualizations and Gawain recommends using them regularly in your daily practice.  Affirmations should be short in length, stated in the present tense and composed of positive words.  Say “I am getting healthier with every moment that passes”, rather than “I don’t want to be sick anymore.”  The first statement is positive and in the present, the second is negative and in the future. 

Although early morning and pre-sleep are two of the best times to visualize, any time that you can relax deeply will work.  And, even when you are not able to take a break and relax, Gawain recommends taking a few moments during your day to access what you visualized that morning or the night before.  With practice, just bringing an image of your desire into your mind, even for a few seconds, will be an automatic trigger for your body and your mind to relax.  

One of my favorite recommendations in “Creative Visualization” is to end each practice with the words “This, or something better, now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.”  So, what does that mean?  First, always leave your intent open for something better.  Our imaginations are often limited by past experiences and fears.  You may only be able to see yourself finishing that 10K race, but the Universe/God/Source sees you winning the race.  Always leave a door open for something more than you can imagine.  Also, because we may sometimes desire something that is not completely the best for us, asking that it be “totally satisfying and harmonious” allows some wiggle room for our own inability to see all sides of what we want.  And, finally, because what we wish for will inevitably affect others, we request that it should manifest in a way that is “for the highest good of all concerned”. 

Remember that you cannot manifest negative desires and you cannot manifest for someone else.  Manifesting is a spiritual practice, so your desires should be positive in nature and be seen as manifesting in positive ways.  You may be visualizing winning that 10K race but if you fear your chances are slim because of a better runner in the race, you cannot visualize your competitor leaving the race with a sprained ankle, allowing you to be the victor.  Simply imagine yourself running and winning the race and let the Universe figure out how to make that happen.  And, if you close out your visualizations with the statement above, you leave the door open for winning the race in record-setting time - something you may not have thought possible!  And, although we share our lives with others, we cannot manifest on someone else’s  behalf nor can we use them to manifest for ourselves.  For example, you may want to have more money, but you cannot successfully manifest a new job for your spouse unless your spouse also wants to manifest that job. 

Although the man in my life wants to live in Mount Dora and was completely supportive of my manifesting project, he was not actively participating.  I knew that his lack of participation was affecting me because I always imagine us both there and I cannot manifest for him.  Fortunately, he is now a willing and active participant in Manifesting Mount Dora and that, along with a little rest, will energize me to rev up my manifesting for the upcoming week.