It is What You Make of It

We have all heard sayings that life is what you make of it; that we should control our situations and not let them control us. I have a simple example of how one's perception can change the meaning and importance of a situation or an opportunity.

Recently I was working at a client's office and one of the employees started ranting about Facebook.  He said things like, "Facebook is all about ego - me, me, me.  See what I am doing.  See what I think.  I am the most interesting person on earth.  Everything I say is important and must be seen.  I will never be on Facebook.  I am not that impressed with myself and it is a colossal time-waster." 

When I tried to tell him about how I use Facebook, he would not even listen.  He had a preconceived idea about a medium he has never used and he did not want me or anyone else to refute his image of Facebook.  What he refused to see is that Facebook, as with most other things in life, is what you make of it.  Yes, I do use Facebook to post personal communications about my life, but those types of posts are infrequent.  And, I definitely use Facebook to keep up with what my friends and family are doing and to share photos.  But, I also use Facebook for inspiration, for news, for community activities, for political and social activism, for appreciating art and architecture, for travel information and suggestions, to read blogs, and to meet people from all over the world.  

I belong to several Facebook groups and pages that exist only to post inspirational stories and sayings.  One of my favorite things to do first thing in the morning is to go on Facebook and read the first inspirational messages of the day.  What a great way to start the morning!

I also belong to several political pages and groups and I use their posts to keep up with what is happening in politics around the country and in the world.  Likewise, I belong to Facebook groups that involve political and social activism and I use them to also keep up with news and to become involved in activities, to sign petitions and to share my thoughts on various subjects.  

Some of my Facebook contacts are local business and organizations and businesses and organizations in my favorite town, Mount Dora and in my favorite city, Manhattan.  The news they post about activities, sales, drives and other happenings help me stay up-to-date with my community and with my two favorite places to visit and help me to plan activities with my family.  

I belong to some pages that just share beautiful things like art and architecture.  In fact, I just re-posted a picture of a Van Gogh painting this morning so all my contacts could share in the beauty of his painted sunflowers. I am connected with some travel pages and love seeing the photos of places all over the world and reading the travel blogs and comments.  

But, without a doubt, one of my favorite things about Facebook is that I can make friends with people all over the world.  I may never meet them in person, but I treasure our online friendships just the same.  Through Facebook, I have made friends with people in Canada, Saudi Arabia, France, Egypt, Australia, Great Britain, Italy, Malaysia, and other countries, as well as people in other states here in the U.S.  I have learned so much about other cultures and beliefs.  I have followed political upheavals in Egypt and Syria, offering support as best I can through social media.  My world is much larger and more colorful because of Facebook.  

Facebook is just an example of making something what you want it to be.  Your Facebook can be all about you or it can be more, much more.  The guy who was ranting about Facebook did not even want to try and think about it in a different way.  He had this idea of what it was and he did not want me or anyone else to prove him wrong.  Unfortunately, that means he misses out on the big world called Facebook.  

A friend that I met on Facebook recently sent me a message about her life.  Due to employment and financial situations, she and her immediate family moved from her home country to another one in her region of the world.  Life in her new location is much different and she has struggled with great unhappiness about the change.  In her previous home, her life revolved more around her family, extended and immediate, and her friends.  Having left many of them behind, she had to find a new focus.  It took awhile, but I was so glad to hear that she has found fulfillment and happiness in her work, has discovered and nurtured new passions and is exploring returning to school for an additional degree.  In spite of the hardships and sadness she faced in her new environment, she has found a way to make something good and worthwhile out of it.  She may never feel the same about her new country as she did her homeland, but she is adapting in a way that will allow her to find a level of contentment and fulfillment.  I enjoy following her experiences and have learned much about the cultures of both places through what she shares with me.  She is not only an example of "it is what you make of it", but also an example of what Facebook can be.  

I have softened my approach to Manifesting the Mount Dora for the same "it is what you make of it" reason.  I love my life, but I am hoping to create a different life.  I was focusing too much on what I want to create and not enough on what is right here before me.  Because I was looking ahead, I was getting frustrated with what had not changed and not appreciating all that is good about what has not changed.  I also am working on accepting that my Manifesting Mount Dora project is a work in progress and I have to appreciate the process.  Manifesting Mount Dora, the project and the end result, are what I make of them.   

Mount Dora vs. New York City

Since I am so focused on Manifesting Mount Dora now, my favorite little city was on my mind often while I was vacationing in New Jersey and New York City. My man’s niece took us exploring through the two cities in New Jersey where most of their family members lived when first immigrating to the United States. Both cities are very typical of the heavily populated urban areas in New Jersey and New York. Houses, usually three story buildings with each floor being rented out as separate living units, are built very close together - close enough that neighbors can lean out their windows and shake hands. Backyards, other than concrete driveways, are almost none existent and front yards are usually just small porch-like stoops with maybe a small green area between the house and the sidewalk. Because green space is not available for most houses, the cities have several large parks where children play, families gather, dogs romp and sports are played.

 I grew up in the country. We owned about eight acres of land and our neighbors owned as much, if not more, property. We all had spacious, but not huge or fancy, single family homes, some two-story and some with just one floor. Homes where children lived usually had swing sets and other play or sports equipment in the yards. I had a horse, well really a pony, named Rusty, and we also had multiple dogs and cats over the years, as well as pet goats, a donkey and some ducks. Our nearest towns did not have much by way of parks because green space was abundant where everyone lived. Most houses were built with plenty of acreage between each and on roads with no sidewalks. I could play on my road for hours and not see another person. I roamed alone through woods and fields and even boated up and down the creek in front of my home. My childhood environment was completely different than the places where my man’s children and nieces and nephews grew up.

Mount Dora is more like my childhood home than the places I saw in New Jersey. Although there are many streets, most with sidewalks and lined with homes, those houses are usually single-family homes with spacious yards. But, Mount Dora is also blessed with many beautiful parks - some dedicated to children, some on the water with boat ramps and docks and some with large fields for playing sports. Although my childhood home was many miles from town, the places where my man lived in New Jersey were always within walking distance of many businesses and that is similar to the “old city” of Mount Dora. I love that I don’t have to drive in New Jersey or NYC - public transportation is abundant and convenient. Mount Dora, like most small cities and particularly those in the South, lacks buses and trains, but because the town is small and very pedestrian-friendly, we can spend several days there only needing to drive if we want to go to a grocery store or some other sort of large commercial business. Maybe that is why my man and I both love Mount Dora so much - it is a combination of what is familiar to both of us.

Of course, New York City, particularly Manhattan, is different than all the places we know well. People live mostly in large apartment buildings or brownstones and most people rent, rather than own. Almost no one owns personal green space so the parks in New York City are large and numerous. While everyone where I've lived in the South and almost everyone in Mount Dora owns a car, very few people in New York City do - instead, they rely on public transit like the subway and other train systems, buses and taxi cabs. Again, the lifestyles of people in various places can differ so greatly, we have a hard time imagining what it would be like to live in a place so different than what we've experienced. I am amazed by the diversity of lifestyles in the United States. No wonder Americans sometimes have a hard time understanding one another.

Perhaps one of the biggest differences between city dwellers and those in rural or small city/town areas is the openness of the people. Where I live now, where I grew up and in Mount Dora, as in most Southern towns and cities, people are very open and expressive. We are quick to introduce ourselves to strangers, usually with a big smile, a handshake or a hug. We greet new neighbors with a plate of cookies or a homemade cake and an invitation to dinner. We easily share our life stories and expect the same of others. We like to chat and gossip and can spend hours conversing. We are quick to offer a helping hand or to accept one. We often think of our neighbors as an extension of our families.

In heavily populated places like NYC, being that open and friendly is not advisable and maybe even dangerous. With so many people, there is no way to know who to trust and who to avoid, so avoidance is the default reaction. I smile easily at the people on the streets of New York and I often get strange looks, as though the recipient of my friendly smile thinks I am mentally unstable. Whereas in Mount Dora or in my own city, I can smile abundantly with no one finding my silent, toothy greeting unusual, odd or alarming.

I have intently studied the NYC subway riders who rarely even acknowledge the presence of one another. They sit stony-faced, listening to music through headphones, playing with their smart phones, reading books or newspapers, or sleeping. Unless traveling with someone else or talking on a phone, those expressionless people speak to no one and rarely make eye contact. In crowded spaces, it is important for people to protect their personal space, which is basically nonexistent on crowded trains. Since it is impossible to prevent the invasion of personal space in such conditions, human beings shut down their non-verbal and, to some extent, their verbal communications by remaining as physically expressionless as possible. Even when I try to make eye contact or prompt a smile from a stranger, I almost always fail and the few times I have succeeded and was able to engage the person in conversation, I inevitably discovered he or she was originally from the South or New England.

A fallacy that I had, and many others have, of New Yorkers is that they are unfriendly or rude. That is just not true. We have never been in a situation of needing help that someone did not offer assistance. The first time my man took me to NYC, he was shocked to discover the subways no longer had booths with human beings selling tokens to ride the trains. Booths, people and tokens had been replaced with computers and printed tickets. He had no idea how to use the ticket computers and although I could navigate the screens, I had no idea what choices to make regarding tickets, routes, etc. We stood before one of those computer boxes looking confused and worried when a businessman using the machine next to us noticed our states of panic. Without introduction or chit-chat, he brusquely offered to help, rapidly showed us how to use the computer and quickly disappeared with us yelling, “Thank you!” as he was engulfed in a sea of suits. In the South, the same man would have politely asked if we needed help, he would then have introduced himself and perhaps shared a personal comment or two and then he would have slowly instructed us on the use of the computer and then repeated all the steps to make sure we “got it”, asked if we understood completely, stood nearby to confirm that we were able to purchase our tickets with no problems and then, when he was assured all was well, he would have said good-bye, giving us ample opportunity to say thank-you (probably more than once) and he then would have strolled away after wishing us a good day. The help presented to us in NYC came in a different package, but it was help nonetheless. The businessman saw people in distress and jumped in to give assistance. He did not have spare minutes to pass the time of day. He did not need to know our names nor did he need to share his. He showed us what to do, expected us to pay attention and understand the first time and when his work was done, he left. Short, sweet and to the point. Maybe not what we would call a friendly exchange, but still an act of kindness between strangers.

I love NYC. I love the energy, the excitement, the culture, and the constantly changing environment. But, being there made me realize how strongly I appreciate the small-town feeling of Mount Dora - the friendliness of the people, the slower pace of life, the quiet atmosphere. After vacationing in NYC, I feel I need a vacation from my vacation! But, when I take a break in Mount Dora, I really feel like my battery is recharged. Both places are fabulous, but when it comes to choosing a place to live, I choose Mount Dora.

Being in New Jersey and New York City, provided me with a much needed change of scenery and helped me to appreciate what I have and what I want to manifest. It is always good to have new and different experiences - they broaden our perspectives, increase our knowledge, activate our creativity and help us to better define who we are and what we want. And I know that I still want to Manifest Mount Dora!

Distance

Right now, my dream of Mount Dora seems far away.  For two weeks my focus was on getting well and, although I am much better, I am still running with a less than full tank.  Now I am focusing on getting ready for our fast-approaching eight-day vacation.  Since I was already behind at work from illness, the last few days have felt a little hectic as I tried to get caught up as well as get ahead before my vacation. I also have been helping out more often with my grandchildren and as wonderful as it is to be more actively involved in their lives, it can also be very tiring keeping up with two children under the age of six!  Each night during the last three weeks, I fell exhausted into bed, not feeling very inclined to engage in manifesting practices and meditations.  It has even been more than a week since my last blog post.  My birth year is winding down and, in previous years, the autumn months before my birthday have produced the biggest changes of my year.  The days are passing and at this moment I feel no closer to what I want to manifest.

I could feel sad or disappointed or hopeless, but I don’t.  I have to live life as it comes and I still have my eye on the prize.  Over the last three weeks, I may not have been focusing on it as much, but I have not forgotten it and I am still doing little things to keep my Mount Dora project on my mind.  But, it did take a backseat to getting well, to caring for my grandchildren, to getting caught up at work and to getting ready for vacation.  A vacation from my routine, even the daily manifesting habits I have cultivated, is a good thing. Even a fun, interesting and inspiring project like Manifesting Mount Dora can turn old and tired without a break.  All but one of our mini vacations this year were spent in Mount Dora and as much as I love those long weekend trips to my favorite town, I think its time for a change of scenery.

Have you ever been working hard or studying intently and your mind just freezes or your brain becomes so tired you cannot think anymore or absorb anymore?  What do you do?  Take a break.  Go for a walk, engage in another activity, take a nap, play with your cat.  Well, my break will be a few days in New Jersey and New York.  I will be looking at skyscrapers rather than the one and two story buildings of Mount Dora. I will be walking in Central and Washington Square Parks rather than Donnelly and Grantham Parks. I will stroll down Broadway and Fifth Avenue rather than Baker and Tremain Streets. I will be surrounded by the hectic bustling of a mega-city, rather than the laid back, slow-paced atmosphere of a small, Southern town. I will be donning jackets and socks rather than t-shirts and sandals.  The change will be refreshing and invigorating.

As I prepare to go, I am filled with gratitude that I am able to take this trip, that my daughter and other family and friends will take care of things at home while I am gone, that my clients are flexible enough to allow me an eight-day vacation, that my man's mother is a gracious, fun and loving hostess to us while we are there, that his niece and/or sister provide us with transportation to and from the train station and, most of all, that four years ago my man  introduced me to the excitement and beauty of New York City.

I will have limited time and intermittent internet access for more than a week, so my blog may lay dormant during that time, but that is okay, too.  Even a break from writing this blog, which I love doing, can be renewing.  Because life can become too predictable and too ruttish, we all need time off, downtime, time to have new experiences and see new sights and that is exactly what I am going to do!!  I plan to return feeling healthy, happy, strengthened and focused. 

Mount Dora on Dwellable

4/14/12 Manifesting Manhattan and My Man

Like many Southerners, I once viewed mega-cities, such as New York, with distrust and even a little fear.  Although I was born in Baltimore, lived in Atlanta and had family in Chicago, I was raised in the country and felt more comfortable in rural areas or very small cities.  To me New York City seemed unfriendly and unsafe.  My husband disliked crowds, so we avoided cities of any size.

In 1998, my marriage was crumbling.  My husband and I were like roommates who did not like each other very much.  I was depressed, I was cynical, I was lonely.  And, that was the year the movie “You’ve Got Mail” was released. 

Starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, “You’ve Got Mail” was a romantic comedy set in Manhattan.  For me, “romantic” and “Manhattan” meant the movie had two strikes against it.  I attended the movie with my then sister-in-law and her daughter.  Through the show, my face was frozen in disgust.  Who believed this drivel?

Unbelievably, I sat through the movie again with some girlfriends who wanted to see it.  Second time around, I was more annoyed than disgusted, but I was also a little interested, in some strange inexplicable way.  Afterwards, to my surprise, I thought about the movie often.  When the video was released, I bought it and chastised myself for being so silly. 

I watched the video over and over and over again.  I woke up in the middle of the night and went to the living room and watched it.  I could not seem to stop watching it.  Was I going crazy?  Why was I doing this?  Thus began my first manifesting experience, although I was unaware of what I was doing or why I was doing it.  Without knowledge of The Law Attraction, I could not understand my fascination with the movie or comprehend that the movie could actually help me create a new life. 

My bizarre preoccupation with “You’ve Got Mail” lasted for about a year, but even after my obsession subsided, I continued to watch it two or three times a year.  From that movie, grew a very strong desire to visit Manhattan.  I wanted to walk the streets of the Upper West Side.  I wanted to visit Riverside Park.  I wanted to experience the city that once frightened me.  I remained cynical about romance, but I wanted to be wrong; I wanted to believe in love again. 

Little did I know that I was manifesting in the purest way possible.  Long before I knew about the Law of Attraction and before “The Secret” was created, before my daughter entered my life, before I left my husband, I was manifesting Manhattan and my new man-to-be. 

Six years after the release of “You’ve Got Mail”, I met my man.  He differed from Tom Hanks in many ways, but he was romantic and he lived many years in New Jersey, right across the river from Manhattan, a city he visited as often as he could.  He knew the streets of Manhattan well and he also loved the movie “You’ve Got Mail”.  From the first time we watched the movie together, it became “our movie”.  He told me where the movie scenes were located in Manhattan and shared many stories of his times in the city.  My desire to see Manhattan, born from the movie, became a longing, a very strong wanting that was nurtured by his stories.  

Another five years would pass before we were able to go to Manhattan, but I finally walked the streets I’d seen in “You’ve Got Mail” and visited all the city places my man so often told me about.  Since then, we have returned two more times and try to visit there every year now.  I love Manhattan and being there with my man is romantic, fun and exciting. 

I believe, without a doubt, that I manifested my man and Manhattan through my preoccupation with “You’ve Got Mail”.  I cannot explain why my opinion of the movie changed or why I became obsessed with it, but obviously that film was filling some need in my life.  By watching it many times, I attracted a man to love, a man who also loved Manhattan and would later delight in introducing me to his favorite city. 

Right now, we are all manifesting, whether we realize it or not.  We may be manifesting the same sort of experiences that currently fill our lives - perhaps they are good, perhaps not.  We may need a change and, without realizing it, we start creating that change by focusing on something different.  In my case, the “something different” was a movie. 

If we can manifest without knowledge, without conscious effort, imagine what we can do when we put the Law of Attraction to work purposefully!