5/28/12 Blocks

Over this long holiday weekend, my man and I are house-and-animal sitting for friends who have 40 acres and various farm and domestic pets in the country.  With the exception of Tropical Storm Beryl, our stay has been amazingly relaxing and, for me, contemplative.  I spent hours in the porch hammock reading before the high winds and rains from the storm drove me inside.  I’ve been writing and listening to CDs.  As much as I love the high energy and activity in my own home, this country vacation has been restorative for me and I thank my friends for the opportunity to stay in their lovely, quiet, peaceful home. 

One of the CD sets I listened to was “The Missing Secret” by Joe Vitale and I have to share some insights I experienced.  When I first started learning about the Law of Attraction, someone recommend Vitale’s book “The Attractor Factor” and although I received some good pointers and information about the Law of Attraction from his book, I did not learn as much as I hoped because, honestly, I was turned off by “Mr. Fire”, Joe Vitale.  He fit my conception of a used car salesman.  He seemed slick, too jazzy, too concerned with material things.  He uses his own successes as springboards for teaching others how to reach their own dreams,  often talking about his beautiful homes, his fleet of cars and other material signs of wealth and success he has accumulated.  I decided he just did not resonate with me, so I chose to study other writers and teachers.  A couple of years ago I played a game at a Law of Attraction seminar and I won Joe Vitale’s CD set “The Missing Secret”.  I never intended to listen to it.  I knew what he was all about, or so I thought, and I could better spend my time listening to or reading someone else’s works.  I kept “This Missing Secret” though, thinking I would pass it on to someone else who might not be turned off by Mr. Fire, but I never did.  The CD set stayed in my possession and recently started showing up regularly in different places in my house.  I only have one copy of the CD set, but it seemed like there were a half dozen or more as I found what appeared to be one after another, here and there.  I took that as a sign, brought the CD set with me and just finished listening to the CDs this afternoon. 

Joe Vitale says that “The Missing Secret”, the part of manifesting that was not covered fully in “The Secret”, is about blocks and how to clear them.  We all have limiting beliefs - beliefs we think are reality, but aren’t - they are simply our beliefs based on some experiences we had, or perhaps even a belief absorbed from someone else such as a parent, teacher, friend or spouse.  They are not reality; they are conceptions or, more often, misconceptions.  “I am dumb”, “I cannot handle money”, “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all”, “Life sucks and then you die”, “You cannot trust anyone”, etc.  I immediately identified one of mine: “Money disappears.” 

Once a limiting belief, or block, is identified, Vitale gives instructions for clearing the block.  I know my belief that money disappears originated with my father, who inherited substantial amounts of money several times in his life, but never could hold on to any of it and died with little to his name.  In the early 60's he invested heavily in the stock market with money he inherited from his Aunt Edith.  Once his funds were totally engaged in the market he started playing with options, which is basically borrowing money to invest.  Then, President Kennedy was shot - an unpredictable event that caused the stock market to plummet.  My father’s options were called, which means he had to pay up what he owed on the borrowed funds, and that amount was much greater than all his stocks were worth after the assassination.  He lost everything he had invested in the market and the cash he had not invested.  He nearly lost our home and his business, too. 

As a child, I could not possibly understand what occurred, but with my limited ability to comprehend what I saw happening in our household, I walked away with a belief that money just disappears and that the stock market is a terrible place to put your money.  Those beliefs are not reality.  Money does not really disappear.  It may go away, but not of its own volition.  Money does not wish to harm us.  Money is energy and its “life” comes from how we use its energy.  Many unpredictable events can affect the retention or accumulation of money, but how we use our energy and the energy of money can be managed.  Many people have done very well investing in the stock market, so my belief that the stock market makes money disappear is just not true. 

Realizing that money does not really disappear and the stock market is not some magician that transforms cash into a wisp of smoke, does not necessarily give me the right answers about how to use or multiply money, but it does put me back on the right track of understanding money.  The stock market may or may not be a good place to invest money at any given time, but it is not always a bad place.  My father invested all his expendable money - not a wise move.  Then, he became greedy and invested money that was not his.  He used his energy and the energy of his money and the energy of the borrowed money poorly and paid the price.  The belief I formed about money and the stock market was based on what looked like reality, but it was only a belief based on my father’s poor energetic use of money.

Maybe the stock market is not the best place for me or for you to invest, but that should be a choice we make based on real facts, not hazy childhood memories and fears.  My false reality about money and the stock market is a block that I need to clear.  But, as I was listening to Joe Vitale, I realized my opinion of him was also a block.  I had not listened to his CD set for two years because I had a particular negative image of him - an image I did not like.  That belief I had about him was limiting my ability to learn what he may have to teach me.  I don’t know Joe Vitale.  Maybe he is a great guy.  Truthfully, sometimes, even with my knowledge of the block I have regarding him, he still turns me off.  I need to clear that block, too.  But, my true moment of clarity was when I realized I don’t have to like Joe Vitale - liking him as nothing to do with learning from him.  I need to release whatever block I have regarding him, but I don’t have to like him.  I just need to accept him as he is and open myself to learning from him.  Maybe his methods don’t work the best for me; maybe I can learn faster and better from someone else, but that does not mean I cannot learn anything from him.  And, the reality is, I did learn from him today.     

As children in school, we were forced to attend classes taught by teachers we may or may not have liked.  Most of us learned better when we had a connection with a teacher, but that does not mean we did not or could not learn from our less favored instructors.  I think, because we usually can control who we learn from as adults, we are quick to avoid someone that may turn us off, someone with whom we cannot resonate, as I did with Joe Vitale.  But, maybe, just maybe, that annoying teacher is the one we need to hear.  I had to set aside my beliefs about Joe Vitale today and allow him to talk to me.  And, I am glad I did.  Brings to mind a science teacher I had as a teenager.  Everything about him annoyed me  - he was harsh and demanding - nothing soft and fuzzy about that guy.  Also, he had a very thick German accent that was hard to understand.  I had to sit through his class and I had to do well to get into college.  I forced myself to go beyond my initial dislike of him and  to become accustomed to his accent so I could understand what he was saying.  Slowly the “forcing” dissolved and I found myself easily listening and learning from him.  Without realizing it, my forced situation had helped me clear a block.  I never cared for science, but I learned to love his class.  I learned more from him than any other teacher in my high school career.  And, when I had to move away in the middle of the school year, the only time I cried saying good-bye to my teachers was with him.  I was shocked when he told me that he started off the school year not liking me, too!  He thought I was one of “those literature types” who have no desire and feel no need to learn about science or math.  He, of course, had no choice but to teach me and was surprised when he discovered that I had an inquiring mind about everything and that I posed engaging questions.  I became his favorite pupil that year, as he had become my favorite teacher. 

If we hold tight to our beliefs, we will limit our ability to learn and to grow.  Figuring out a block is really not that hard; clearing it may be more challenging, but taking the time and effort to release it will open us up to new experiences and learning opportunities.   

5/27/12 Aunt Helen & Manifesting Mount Dora

My Aunt Helen was 99 when I stayed with her for five days while my aunt and uncle, her next door neighbors and caregivers, took a short vacation to Tennessee.  Just like my mom, she was not my “real” aunt, but my step-aunt and yet I was closer to her than any of my “real” family.  Aunt Helen lived to be 104 and she lived an inspirational life. 

She was born on a farm in upstate Maine, miles from the nearest town.  Her older brother was like their father - a hard-working, practical, no-nonsense Yankee man.  He would take over the farm as he matured and raise his own family of four children there.  He asked for little and lived what some may call a small life - rarely leaving the county where he was born and raised.  But, Aunt Helen was never meant for a small life.  She was her mother’s darling.  Aunt Helen wore crinoline dresses and hair-bows of colors that rivaled the spring wildflowers in the fields that surrounded their old farmhouse - a house that lacked indoor plumbing and electricity until Aunt Helen was already middle-aged herself.  In spite of a difficult and meager life on the farm, her mother managed to buy a piano and music lessons for Aunt Helen and to send her to a boarding school/secretarial college where she graduated at the top of her class. 

In the early 1900's it was unusual for women to be educated past high school, if they even made it that far, and in rural Maine, it was simply scandalous for a young lady to study for a career of any sort.  Fortunately, Aunt Helen’s mother and Aunt Helen thought otherwise.

She left northern Maine and settled in the Portland area, living in boarding houses where adventurous career women were chaperoned and carefully monitored.  She moved up in the secretarial world, always accepting positions with more responsibility and a better salary.  During World War II, she was executive assistant to the president of the Bath Iron Works where most of the nation’s warships were manufactured, earning the highest salary of any woman in the state of Maine.  She had graduated from boarding homes to a house of her own and lived a happy, successful life as an unmarried 30-something-year-old. She finally did marry, but not until sometime in her late 30's or early 40's.  Her husband had been married before (I never knew if he was widowed or divorced) and had grown children.  He was a very successful insurance agent who retired early due to a heart condition.  They spent their summers at their  lovely, but simple cabin-like home on a lake in Camden and winters in Boca Raton, Florida where they owned a lovely, but simple ranch-style house near a canal.  I only recall seeing Uncle Laraine once.  I was three years old and I have a very vivid mental photograph of riding in a motor boat on their lake.  Uncle Laraine is at the wheel and my father is standing next to him.  I am in the back of the boat with someone else - perhaps my step-mom or one of my older sisters.  We are pulling away from the dock where Aunt Helen stands waving good-bye.  She is wearing a peach-colored, slightly-flared shirtwaist dress, stockings, white pearls and white pumps - classic Aunt Helen attire.  A few months later Uncle Laraine died of a massive heart attack - sad, but not unexpected. 

Because of their late-in-life marriage, Aunt Helen and Uncle Laraine had no children and she seemed fine with that.  She chose a different life than most women her age and she had no regrets.  After her husband’s passing, Aunt Helen sold the lake home in Maine and became a permanent resident in Florida.  She was in her early 50's at the time and well-off financially due to Uncle Laraine’s successful insurance career and his generous life insurance policy, but she chose to return to work as an executive secretary for a small, prosperous insurance agency.  She continued to work there until she was in her mid-70's and, in fact, helped to computerize the office before going part-time and then retiring altogether. 

While working, she spent her vacation time taking cruises and trips around the world.  After her retirement, she did the same, but more often and for longer periods of time.  She visited most U.S. states and a great portion of Canada, all the European and Scandinavian countries, much of Asia, Australia and New Zealand, and countless islands in the Atlantic, Pacific, Caribbean and Mediterranean. 

She lived well, but not extravagantly.  She sold the Boca Raton home and purchased one of the first apartments in a new condominium three blocks from the beach in Pompano.  She served on the board of directors there for many years, holding every possible position. 

Her politics and her financial investments were conservative and she was up-to-date on all the world and national news stories.  She smiled broadly, laughed often, marveled at other people and at life, loved deeply but at a comfortable distance, and her appearance was always impeccable.

I quoted Aunt Helen in an earlier blog post: “Most, if not all, of the world’s problems can be solved with good manners.”  She lived those words.  I never heard her say a sharp word or raise her voice.  Her manners were faultless even when responding to boorishness, incivility, sarcasm, arrogance and just plain bad behavior.  She truly was a “lady”.

That five-day period I spent with her when she was 99 is one of my happiest memories.  I was able to know her on a much deeper level.  We shopped for shoes (she loved shoe-shopping), we ate at quaint sandwich cafes near the beach, we bought new wall-paper for her dining room, we sat side-by-side and read in silence for hours,  we talked and laughed - a lot. 

So what does Aunt Helen have to do with Manifesting Mount Dora?  She is my inspiration.  She lived her life as she saw fit, not as society or others dictated.  She accomplished what others thought a poor farm girl from northern Maine could not.  She did not acknowledge or even listen to the bubble-bursting comments made about her career dreams.  She showed no fear and constantly, consistently moved forward on her path.  Her plans pushed no one aside and she stepped on no one as she moved forward.  She just did her best and she believed that she could achieve her dreams.  Optimism was her trademark.  When Hurricane Andrew was taking aim at South Florida, her condominium building was evacuated to a shelter in the local high school.  Although she was having terrible stomach discomfort, that would later prove to be a cancerous tumor, she talked about her evacuation experience as if it were a Disney World vacation - “The Red Cross workers were so kind and helpful”, “The cot where I slept was comfy”, “They gave us delightful little plastic bowls of fruit for dessert”, “We had fun playing cards”.  Not a complaint, not a whine. 

At 86 a massive lump was discovered hidden away under her right breastbone.  It was her first experience with a serious illness and family members were already writing her obituary - “She has no idea what she will have to go through”, “At her age, she will never make it”, “She’s lived a good life.”  Fortunately, she was not through living that good life.  After two radical mastectomies, her doctor said he had never seen anyone heal so quickly.  He marveled at her positive attitude, her strength of will and her impervious nature.  She was sent home from the hospital with a home-care nurse.  After three days of being told she needed to stay in her nightgown and bathrobe because getting dress would be too painful, she told the nurse to leave the room for awhile and thirty minutes later she emerged fully dressed, including stockings, pumps and pearls.  The nurse was reassigned to another patient two days later.  After her Hurricane Andrew evacuation experience, Aunt Helen finally sought medical advice about her stomach discomfort.  A large tumor was removed and again she defied odds with her amazing recovery and her eternally optimistic approach to her healing process.  She just would not allow herself to believe that she would do anything but heal speedily and completely.  In her 90's, a fall at a supermarket left her with broken bones in her arm, but she recovered and was hand-hemming her clothes a month later.  Another fall at 103 left her with a weakened arm and she moved to a nursing home where she finally decided she had lived long enough, done enough, been enough places, loved enough.  She died of “old age” - no ailment, no disease - just because she was not fond of her new living arrangements and because once she could not go to concerts, plays and movies anymore and when she was no longer able to play her beloved bridge twice a week with her decades-younger friends, she knew it was time to move on to her next spiritual adventure.  She was not sad or angry or disappointed.  She was ready.  She just let go and over the period of a few weeks, she turned into the old woman that 103 previous years could not create.  She made it a few days past her 104th birthday.  That was enough. 

Aunt Helen would love my Manifesting Mount Dora project.  She would say it is “delightful”, declare it “great fun” and spur me on with her own enthusiasm.  She knew nothing of the Law of Attraction or manifesting or anything of the other new-Agey stuff that surrounds my work-in-progress, but she would support me nonetheless and I am sure would find some of my “putting it out in the Universe” faith similar to her own unwavering optimism.  She would come to visit me in Mount Dora, too, and we would shop for shoes and eat in quaint little cafes and we would talk and laugh - a lot.  

5/23/12 Righteous Fantasies

I was raised by a father who rarely took a vacation and often worked six or seven days a week.  I followed the same path.  I worked long hours, sometimes ten to twelve hours a day often for seven days a week, month after month.  I rarely took time off and when I did indulge in a vacation, it was usually to visit family and, as many know, those types of holidays from work are not always restful and often not fun.   My husband, now deceased, had a similar childhood experience.  When his family rarely took a “vacation”, it was a two, possibly three, day trip to one of the beaches east of their home in Gainesville.  Not exactly great travelers, were they?  At least the few vacations my father initiated took us out of our state! 

During our nearly thirty year marriage, most of the vacations my husband and I took were what I call “obligatory vacations” - visiting long-distance relatives, attending weddings or funerals, or pre-move trips to find a place to live, etc.  Those obligatory trips often had some moments of fun and joy, but, especially for me, were still working vacations.  First, we traveled long distances, usually driving  6 to 16 straight hours - not restful or fun.  And, spending a week at a relative’s home did not excuse me from domestic duties.  I still helped with food preparation and cleanup.  I still did laundry.  I often helped with childcare and housework, depending on who we were visiting.  A few days off from my paying job was nice, but sometimes I did more domestic work on vacation than I did at home. 

Because cash was always in short supply, these obligatory vacations were less expensive and all we could afford.  Because of our lack of funds and because of the long hours necessary at the majority of my jobs, the most we could manage was possibly one vacation a year that lasted for more than a long weekend.  Many years we did not even take that one week.

In my childhood, I dreamed of traveling.  In fact, I wanted to be a travel writer, venturing around the world and writing articles, stories and books about my experiences.  But, as often happens, I grew up and discovered, or decided, that life had different plans for me.  Rather than being a world traveler, I reluctantly and resentfully became a home-body.  My world travels were reduced to a very few obligatory vacations to visit family and friends with the longest trip being from Florida to Maine to visit my mom.  Two exceptions were trips to Niagara Falls, Canada - one to accompany my niece to a wedding she was attending and another to attend a wedding of my own friends.  Both trips were fabulous, but definitely the exception to the norm of my life. 

For the first few years of my “new life” after leaving my husband, money, and credit for that matter, was even tighter and the most I could manage was a couple of days in St. Augustine each year.  Then, I sold my former home in the country.  By the time of the sale, the real estate market had crashed and the purchase price had been reduced several times just to release me from the mortgage, insurance and tax expenses.  After paying off the mortgage and a few home-related debts, the cash in my pocket was much less than I’d ever thought possible.  Most of that cash went to pay off other financial obligations, leaving me with even less.  But, still, that less was more than I’d had in my bank account for many years.  After experiencing such rough financial times, my plan was to save the money, using it very conservatively, when needed.  It wasn’t much, but it was all I had, so a hoarding mentality took over my mind.  Even though I’d been practicing the Law of Attraction and even though I know that money only has energy when it is being used, I chose to live small and hold tightly to what little I had.  Until. . .

One day, while my man and I were passing time in the public library while some repairs were being done on my car, I picked up a book called “Do Less, Achieve More - Discover the Hidden Power of Giving In” by Chin-Ning Chu.  That book and “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain are the two books at the top of my prosperity recommended reading list.  The book is short and easy to read, so please make the effort. 

While reading that book, I had what Oprah calls a “light bulb moment”.  The author tells the story of a 53-year-old woman (I was 54 at the time) who was raised in France and immigrated to the U.S. in her twenties.  She longed to return for an extended visit to her homeland, but the expense of such a trip and her loss of time from work led her to settle for no more than week-long trips, which were never long enough.  Even after being offered a rent-free home for two months in France, she hesitated because of some pressing responsibilities at her job and because she feared losing her job if she took so much time off.  She struggled in vain to find a way to connect such a visit to France with her job so she could justify the lengthy stay with her employer.  Frustrated and disappointed, she nixed the idea of a two-month stay in her homeland.  When she told a friend that there was no way she could go, the friend said, “You weren’t born to work yourself to death.  You were born to fulfill your desire for experiences.  To love well, which includes fulfilling your righteous fantasies, leads you to complete your desire to experience life.  To your soul, the fulfilling of fantasies is as important as accomplishing your career goals.  It is wrong to die without satisfying those fantasies.”  The woman heeded those words and scheduled her trip. That extended stay in France changed her life forever.  She reconnected with an old high school boyfriend, their romance was rekindled and they married.  Her American employer valued her work so highly that he allowed her to continue working for the company from her new, permanent home in France. 

That story was my light-bulb moment.  The words “righteous fantasies” energized and haunted me and, while sitting in the library, I made the decision to use some of the cash from the sale of my home to take a long-dreamed-of trip to New York City.  Within a week, reservations were made and in less than a month, my man and I were off to the city he loves so much and to which he always wanted to introduce me.  Our trip was amazing.  I’d always wanted to visit NYC, but I never dreamed I would love it so much.  Visiting NYC was one of my “righteous fantasies”.  I took ten days off work - the longest I’d ever been away from any job and the longest time off I’d taken since starting my business 11 years before.  Since then, we return to NYC every year and each trip is as amazing the ones before. 


I would have thought that leaving my work for ten days would be impossible, but once I voiced the intention of the New York City trip, all fell into place with amazing simplicity.  The travel plans came together easily.  My work magically slowed to a level that was reasonable to abandon for ten days.  Loose ends tied up into lovely bows of anticipation.  A trip that had once seemed impossible became righteously doable.  And, I have found that to be the case when engaging in other plans.  If the plans are truly righteous, if they are truly what I need and what I desire, if they will elevate, educate and evolve me, if I will have time for rejuvenation and fun, all the details come together like cake batter ingredients - smooth, sweet and tasty! 

It has been years since I thought of “righteous fantasies”.  It took Manifesting Mount Dora to bring those words to mind.  The word “righteous” means morally or ethically justified.  It seems odd to think of our fantasies as being morally or ethically justified.  Righteous just does not seem to be the correct adjective to pair with the word “fantasies”.  But, why don’t we think of our fantasies as righteous?  We are here to live large, to experience boldly.  But, most of us live small and in fear.  I pledge to start visualizing and manifesting other righteous fantasies.  Mount Dora is already in the works.  What next?? 

5/19/12 My Week of Self-Care

I have not written in seven days and greatly missed my blog time, but knew I needed to chill and take care of myself.  Some of April and all of May were tumultuous and my body was feeling the strain - sleep was hit-and-miss, my upper back and neck were tight with pain, nearly every part of my body was achy and uncomfortable and exhaustion was my state of being. 

In an effort to feel less stressed, more balanced and rested, I treated myself to a Reiki session with Shenna Benarte Tuesday evening and a massage with Gina Englert Thursday evening.  Gina and I also had a lovely girls’ night out after my massage and dined at Café Colette in the Wild Iris Bookstore, eating wild mushrooms and tropical salads.  We even, unexpectedly, ran into each other the next day and enjoyed lunching together at Tempo Bistro to Go, where my man and I had eaten a delicious meal on Wednesday evening.  This morning, he and I had a scrumptious breakfast at Sisters in the Haile Village and bought many luscious veggies and fruits and a bag of intensely strong coffee at the Haile Farmer’s Market.  My diet is often not the best.  Even though vegetarian, I don’t always make the healthiest food choices and often eat on-the-go or while doing something else.  But, this week I ate several tasty, healthy, mindful meals filled with fresh, local and often organic ingredients and my body feels grateful.

I made some purchases that also helped with my week of self-care.  One was a Tibetan Singing Bowl.  The bowl became my possession through synchronicity.  At the 2011 Gainesville Fall Art Festival, there was a Tibetan Singing Bowl at a booth.  I had wanted one for a long time, but most of my cash was gone and to buy the bowl I needed to go to an ATM, etc.  Feeling tired and not wanting to be bothered at the time, I passed up the opportunity to buy the bowl.  Several times since then, I have regretted not buying it and even thought recently about how helpful the bowl might have been during the past weeks of stress.  This morning, the same woman had a booth at the Haile Farmer’s Market and she again had one Tibetan Singing Bowl.  I did not even notice her or her booth, but my man did.  Once I realized who she was, my eyes searched her booth for a Singing Bowl, but sadly did not find one.  When she recalled who we were and that I was interested in a Singing Bowl at the art festival, she pulled several items out of a bowl on her table.  The bowl had been hidden by the items it held, so I did not notice it was a Tibetan Singing Bowl.  Again, my cash was mostly gone, but this time I made the effort to find an ATM and brought home my lovely Tibetan Singing Bowl.  When I finally get to my mom’s house and bring home the items she bequeathed me, one will be a small, round marble-top table that she knew I always admired.  My Tibetan Singing Bowl will live happily and beautfully in the center of that table.   

Another self-care purchase was a book called “Living Peace” by John Dear, which caught my eye when I was in a large, national bookstore in search of another publication that the local booksellers did not have (the big-box bookstore also did not have it).  I put the book back on the shelf after perusing it because the writing seemed too “religious” to me.  The author is a Jesuit priest and the book relies heavily on biblical references that triggered my old “don’t mention God and the Bible to me” reaction.  Sometimes I forget that I have evolved to the point of accepting and appreciating various spiritual paths and I fall back into patterns of exclusion.  I continued walking around the store, but was drawn back to the book time and again until I finally shook off my old thinking and purchased it.  The book is inspiring, simply and beautifully written and has helped me focus on peace in my life. 

The third self-care purchase was a CD - “Stress Reduction & Creative Meditations” by Marc Allen.  I believe in meditation and I try to practice it, but have limited success.  The most I can accomplish is short, simple meditations.  I have more luck with guided meditations and possess several CDs using various methods of guided meditations.  Some did not work at all for me and some were, at times, partially successful, but none led me to a state of true relaxation.  As the book had, this CD caught my eye.  I was determined to just walk by and not spend more money on another meditation CD that would not help me when I saw the words “With an Introduction by Shakti Gawain”.  Shakti Gawain wrote my favorite book on manifesting, “Creative Visualization”, which I wrote about in my last post.  If she was willing to record an introduction to that meditation CD, I was willing to give it a try.  I often suffer from insomnia - have difficulty getting to sleep or wake up and am unable to return to sleep.  I am not proud to say that I often rely on three (yes, three!) Advil PM tablets to help me get some much-needed rest.  My insomnia comes and goes, but has been relentless during the last few stressful weeks.  I used the CD Wednesday night and was amazed - no, shocked - at how relaxed I became.  Within seconds of the last sound on the recording, I was asleep.  I used it again last night with the same result.  Not only does it help me relax enough to fall asleep, I sleep soundly and wake up early feeling refreshed. 

My week is coming to a close and I can honestly say I feel like a different person than I did seven days ago.  My body feels like my friend, rather than my enemy.  I am relatively and suprisingly relaxed.  I feel optimistic, happy and even peaceful.  I am once again able to visualize, and Manifesting Mount Dora feels not only doable, but imminent. 

5/12/12 Peaceful Visualization

I’ve been spending the last week searching for peace - peace in my home, peace in my relationships and peace with the passing of my mother.  After two weeks of turmoil, life has settled down considerably, but peace continues to feel elusive.  This experience has helped me to realize how terribly important peace is to manifesting and visualizing.  When dodging emotional land mines, the meditative state that is best for visualization is difficult to access.  In fact, rest and even sleep are hard to come by.

The kind of peace that is needed is not PEACE as in world peace or even a complete lack of conflict in one’s personal life (although, both of those would be wonderful).  This peace is time free from physical, emotional and mental disturbances.  Even just a few minutes a couple of times a day may be enough.  Although I was able to get some quiet time (no noise), my mind and emotions were still very loud with their unsettlement.  I believe much of the agitation was rooted in a bone-weary tiredness from nights of restless sleep and days of unbalance.  Even as my life has calmed in the last five days, the remnants of disquietude lingered.  Today is better, but there is still healing to be done.  I remind myself that it is all a process and I must take one step at a time, allowing myself time to absorb, adjust and regroup. 

No one can overestimate the importance of personal peace.  You may run all day long with work, family and other obligations, tackling big and small problems, but if you can carve out a few moments of physical quiet, even if just before you fall asleep, and if you can access mental and emotional balance, you can reach a meditative-like state that is chatterless and ripe for visualization and manifestation. 

If I could recommend only one book for those who want to learn more about manifesting, it would be “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain.  I don’t know of  another author who so clearly and precisely explains and describes the practice of using “the power of your imagination to create what you want in life” (quoted from “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain).  Her original book was written in 1978 and was a word-of-mouth success because she so easily presents what some may find to be difficult-to-understand concepts.  She recommends doing visualizations two or three times a day - the most important times being when first awaking and just before sleeping as those are the times when our minds tend to be less busy.

Gawain recommends complete relaxation to perform a visualization.  Deep relaxation allows your brain waves to slow down, thereby becoming more receptive to any introduced thoughts or images.   Breathing very deeply and slowly may help if you have difficulty calming your mind.  When you feel comfortable, peaceful and receptive, think about what you want to create.  Imagine it in detail.  If you have difficulty producing an actual mental picture (some people are more visual than others), think of it in detailed words that describe exactly what you wish to attract, and you may even write down the words,  or use a vision board and gaze intently at photos or drawings or any other sort of representations of your desire.  Always think of your desire in the present tense.  Try to imagine yourself doing or being or having whatever it is you want.  Place yourself in the scene or in the situation.  Since I want to manifest a home in Mount Dora, I see myself walking the streets or sitting at Gilbert Park or living in a home there.  My images are detailed and I can feel and smell and even taste what living in Mount Dora would be like.  Maybe you want to manifest running a 10K race.  See yourself running the race, imagine the other racers around you and the sights that go by as you run, hear the sounds of athletic shoes hitting the pavement, smell the sweat, feel the sun on your shoulders and perspiration trickling down your neck .  Make it as real as possible.  Be part of the image.  Feel it.  Taste it.  Smell it.  Hear it.

If thoughts of disbelief or fear creep in, acknowledge them and go back to your visualization.  Trying to force away negative thoughts tends to strengthen them.  Just allow them to come and go and perhaps say “thank you” for the warning because our negative thoughts really are warnings - sometimes unnecessary, often unwanted and occasionally obsessive, but warnings nonetheless.  So, thank your mind for the warning and let the negative thought float away.  Using an affirmation to reverse the disallowing thought often helps.  In my case, if I am thinking about Mount Dora and a thought comes into my mind that I cannot afford to move there at this point in my life, I say to myself, “The Universe is providing exactly what I need when I need it to create my new home in Mount Dora.”  If affirmations do not come easily to you or if you have never even tried using affirmations, “Creative Visualizations” has several that you can use for most situations.  Also, Louise Hay, author of many inspirational books, has created hundreds of affirmations for almost any imaginable situation or illness.  Even if you have no negative thoughts, affirmations are still an important part of visualizations and Gawain recommends using them regularly in your daily practice.  Affirmations should be short in length, stated in the present tense and composed of positive words.  Say “I am getting healthier with every moment that passes”, rather than “I don’t want to be sick anymore.”  The first statement is positive and in the present, the second is negative and in the future. 

Although early morning and pre-sleep are two of the best times to visualize, any time that you can relax deeply will work.  And, even when you are not able to take a break and relax, Gawain recommends taking a few moments during your day to access what you visualized that morning or the night before.  With practice, just bringing an image of your desire into your mind, even for a few seconds, will be an automatic trigger for your body and your mind to relax.  

One of my favorite recommendations in “Creative Visualization” is to end each practice with the words “This, or something better, now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.”  So, what does that mean?  First, always leave your intent open for something better.  Our imaginations are often limited by past experiences and fears.  You may only be able to see yourself finishing that 10K race, but the Universe/God/Source sees you winning the race.  Always leave a door open for something more than you can imagine.  Also, because we may sometimes desire something that is not completely the best for us, asking that it be “totally satisfying and harmonious” allows some wiggle room for our own inability to see all sides of what we want.  And, finally, because what we wish for will inevitably affect others, we request that it should manifest in a way that is “for the highest good of all concerned”. 

Remember that you cannot manifest negative desires and you cannot manifest for someone else.  Manifesting is a spiritual practice, so your desires should be positive in nature and be seen as manifesting in positive ways.  You may be visualizing winning that 10K race but if you fear your chances are slim because of a better runner in the race, you cannot visualize your competitor leaving the race with a sprained ankle, allowing you to be the victor.  Simply imagine yourself running and winning the race and let the Universe figure out how to make that happen.  And, if you close out your visualizations with the statement above, you leave the door open for winning the race in record-setting time - something you may not have thought possible!  And, although we share our lives with others, we cannot manifest on someone else’s  behalf nor can we use them to manifest for ourselves.  For example, you may want to have more money, but you cannot successfully manifest a new job for your spouse unless your spouse also wants to manifest that job. 

Although the man in my life wants to live in Mount Dora and was completely supportive of my manifesting project, he was not actively participating.  I knew that his lack of participation was affecting me because I always imagine us both there and I cannot manifest for him.  Fortunately, he is now a willing and active participant in Manifesting Mount Dora and that, along with a little rest, will energize me to rev up my manifesting for the upcoming week. 

5/08/12 Manifesting a Maelstrom

My life has been in turmoil - not just the passing of my mother and the associated emotions and matters to handle, but also a firestorm of problems in my household.  For the last few days, I’ve been living on a never-stopping, never-slowing-down roller coaster of emotions.  Several times, I thought my life, as it is now, would change forever and in a way that seemed like a huge personal loss.  Perhaps all the craziness was energies of the extra large full moon on Saturday, perhaps it was the result of some long-marinating passive-aggressive behavior in my home.  A shake-up was long overdue.  The smoke has settled and, with the exception of a few emotional scars, we are all still alive and all still together. 

After telling a friend about some of the drama, she said, “You manifested a maelstrom!”  Probably an overstatement, but not too far off base.  When I put forth my Manifesting Mount Dora request to the Universe, I was asking for change.  When I began my search for positivity in all areas of my life, I was asking for change.  We cannot always see all the bits and pieces that have to be altered to bring about the needed changes that will allow a requested desire to manifest.  Just changing ourselves may not be enough.  If areas of your life are marbled with negativity caused by others, they will probably experience a shake-up, too.  To allow your manifestation, the Universe will help open a positive pathway and maybe those with negative attitudes who were traveling with you will be pushed in a different direction.  Of course, this also allows them to make positive changes for themselves, but if they choose not to, you may part ways.  So, in essence, you may be unintentionally “manifesting a maelstrom”.  You/me did not plan it or consciously ask for it and will not enjoy it, but the maelstrom will come nonetheless.  Sounds rough and, believe me, it has been.  Sounds a little unfair, but the Universe is just doing what was requested. 

I am still not sure how to deal with the fallout of the maelstrom and am not even sure the upheaval has ended.  All I can do is work to stay grounded, rested and positive - all very difficult right now - and hope that those I love will do the same and continue on the same path as me. 

I received the following email from The Secret website and shared it with someone:

A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

From The Secret Daily Teachings

To allow the Universe to move you in your life to happier and better things, you are going to need to look around you and appreciate the good things here and now. Seek the beautiful things and count the blessings of where you are. Dissatisfaction will not bring the happier and the better into your life. Dissatisfaction roots you to the spot where you currently are, but appreciation for what you have attracts the happier and better to you.
Remember that you are a magnet! Appreciation attracts appreciation!

May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions

My sharing seems to have made a difference and making a difference is really what we should be manifesting.  Making the difference in the lives of those we love.  Making a difference in the world.  Those are the true manifestations of life.  Share a positive email, smile at a stranger, hug someone, cry with someone, let someone cry with you.  Make a difference.  Mount Dora may be my goal, but making a difference, I hope, will be my legacy. 

5/2/12 Women at Fifty

The last few days have been hard.  As to be expected, I am dealing with grief from my mother’s passing.  She did not want a funeral or service of any kind, leaving me considering ways that I can have a personal service to bring about a feeling of closure.  My sleep is peppered with memories of her and I wake up feeling unrested and unsettled.  There are also legal issues regarding her estate and with the help of a dear friend in her state, I am doing what I can from here to help with those problems.  Eventually, I will have to go there, but until certain issues are settled, my ability to accomplish much is limited.  I am also dealing with some tensions and issues in my own household that are additional burdens I don’t need right now.  I feel sad, drained and very off-kilter. 

So much of manifesting centers around feeling and being positive and although I am doing the best I can, I often feel too tired or overwhelmed to channel energy into anything but the tasks and concerns at hand.  I struggle just to find a place of peace from which I can operate.  I am still manifesting Mount Dora, but I think my focus on that needs to take a backseat to other, more immediate issues.  Life often moves us in other directions, if not permanently, at least for awhile.  I still gaze at my Manifesting Mount Dora Closet Door Vision Board, especially when I am searching for that elusive place of peace or when I just need a break from all that is swirling around me.  My Intention is out there in the Universe and Mount Dora is waiting patiently for me.  Although I am emotionally overwhelmed right now, my reconnection with writing won’t let me skip my blog for more than a couple of days and this evening I felt a strong need to write about something.  And, really, just how much can I or should I write about my grief and issues?  Time to go in a different direction. 

I spoke with a co-worker today about her move this week from the house she and her husband shared for many years to an apartment where she will live alone, planning a new life as a single woman.  She mentioned how turning 50 makes you think differently.  I know - the year I turned 50 was when I also left my husband.  I don’t know about men, but for many women, 50 is the year of liberation - the year we stop thinking of everyone else and start thinking of ourselves - the year we stop being cautious and careful and considerate.  Turning 50 is more than a birthday, it is an independence day.  For most women, by the age of 50, the children are grown or at least out of high school and for once they can think of themselves as something other than mothers.  At 50, we have come to accept that we are no longer the young girls that we once were.  In our 40's we are able to fool ourselves into thinking that with exercise and diet we can still look and act like we did at 20.  By 50, we know differently and can gradually create and accept a new vision of ourselves.  We do not and will never again look 20 and we learn to not only to accept, but also to embrace, that knowledge.  Freedom comes when we no longer feel the need to live up to some unrealistic ideal.  We relax more and choose to be comfortable rather than fashionable.  Wisdom is treasured more than trends, reflection more than distraction.  At 50, we can start thinking, perhaps for the first time, about what we want to manifest for ourselves.   I am sure my co-worker will begin figuring out who she wants to be in the second half of her life.  She probably is not aware of manifesting or the Law of Attraction, but she will spend her new alone time trying to figure out who she is as a single woman and what she wants to create for herself in the years to come.  She may feel lonely right now, maybe sad, maybe disappointed, maybe even fearful, but with time she will come into her power, the power she claimed when she dared to think of a life different than the one she’d been living for 29 years.  Power does not always start out feeling powerful.  It often feels small and frightened and confused, but that is just dormant power - the seed of power that sits waiting until the environment is right, until all the tears have been shed and all the regrets wiped away and all the fears put to rest.  In the rich soil watered by a woman’s tears, power grows and blooms.  Watch closely -  a woman coming into her power is a magnificent sight.